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I Cannot Live with You

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I Cannot Live With You

The poem “I Cannot Live with You” talks about a relationship that can’t be. How they can’t live together or die together because they are so different. This poem actually hits really close to home. A few months ago I was in a relationship where I just couldn’t live with someone. It all started in June during Badger Connection. That’s where I met Brittany Dyson. We spent the entire day together where we really learned a lot about each other. Brittany is from New Orleans, Louisiana where she graduated top of her class. We left Badger Connection being really good friends. We kept in contact over the rest of the break. Once school started we were right back where we started. We hung out a lot during the first week of school. Everyone thought that we were dating because we spent so much time together. We were not dating. One night we were sitting in the lobby in Toolen Hall watching “House M.D,” and she leans over and kisses me. It got so awkward that she left Toolen and I didn’t see her for two days. During those two days I started to think about our friendship and the kiss just kept playing over and over inside of my head. When I finally saw her again it was still pretty awkward between us, but I swallowed it and just talked to her. I told her that I had feelings for her and she told me the same. That day we decided to date. Dating lasted all of three days, then we decided to become official. Our friends were relived because it killed all of the tension in the air. It has been a week since we started dating. I made a promise to her that I would never keep a secret from her so I told her to ask me anything she wanted to know that we didn’t discuss and then I asked her if she had anything that she wanted to tell me and she said no. Later on that day she said to me “Ok so I had a boyfriend back home” and I looked at her and I told her “I had a girlfriend back home” she looked at me and continued to watching TV. I really didn’t think anything of it, but that statement would be the turning point in our relationship. Now we have been dating for about three weeks and now we are not getting along as well as we did when we first started to date. I started to let her spend the night with me once or twice a week. My roommate sleeps with headphones on and I played my music on low volume. I cannot sleep without sound. When she stayed over she turned my music off and we argued every time about it until I finally just gave up and turned my music off. This wouldn’t have been a problem if she didn’t snore. Eventually we compromised about the music thing. She took it as me giving anything she wanted and began to slowly take over my room. She came over whenever she wanted, ate all of my food, took over my desk space and yelled for twenty five minutes when I confronted her about it. The final straw came three day later. I came back from class to find my room, which was in a complete mess when I left, completely cleaned. She even did my laundry. I thought this was awesome she cleaned my room for me. So I look around to see what else she did. She took all of my stuff and shoved it into one little drawer in my dresser and all of my desk supplies in a box and shoved it under my bed. She put all of her clothes in the empty space she made. My roommate came up shortly after, just as shocked as I was. He looked around and said “Dude…she moved in.” I was speechless for about twenty minutes. I now realized what I had to do. I asked for space, 4 days to myself to be exact. She didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t ok with her moving into my room, but she got her stuff and left. The next day she came back the next day and acted as if I didn’t ask for space, but I didn’t get mad, I just asked her to leave. She came back the next day and I did get mad and asked her to leave again. Now I needed to find something to take my mind off of her, so I went to lunch with the guys. Some girls from the first floor of Toolen called me over to her table and showed me her Facebook page. The page said that she got engaged in July. So I started to thinks back and when we started to date she stopped wearing the one ring that she owned. It was her engagement ring, I was just too stupid to realize it. So now I have to confront her about it. She told me that it didn’t matter that she was engaged but it did matter. Later that night I talked to my roommate who I always go to and told him what I found out that day. He told me to break it off because it wasn’t fair to me or the fiancé, and he was right.
The next day we broke up. It wasn’t easy to do but it did it. Later that day at dinner she sat next to me and kissed me as if nothing happened earlier. Every day after we broke up she followed me around campus. She attempted several times to get back together with me but I just couldn’t do it. She even told me she loved me while she wore her engagement ring. This took such a toll on me. One of my teachers signed me up for therapy at the wellness center where I now go twice a week. Every since the breakup, I spend all of my time defending my decision to break up with her. She told everyone that I just broke up with her just to be a jerk, but she didn’t tell anyone about the fiancé. Every girl on campus knows her for being the stalker girl. Emotionally, I don’t think I can handle another relationship because of her. I can’t have a since of normalcy with her in my life, and it is because my life can’t be normal with her in it. I cannot live with her

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