Note: No Writing Improvement Exercises appear in Chapter 1.

Chapter 2

Audience Benefits and the “You” View
22. Students in classes in which iPods are designated as learning tools may pick up their free devices at the campus bookstore.
23. For your safety you may rent power equipment only if you can demonstrate proficiency in its use.
24. To prevent you from possibly losing large sums of money as a result of stolen identity, our bank now requires verification of any large check presented for immediate payment.
25. So that your mail won’t be cluttered with duplicate mailings, please complete and return the enclosed card.
26. For just $219 each, you can enjoy a four-day, three-night getaway package that includes hotel accommodations, theme park tickets, and complimentary breakfasts in exciting Orlando.
27. To indicate your preferred summer vacation dates, please complete the enclosed questionnaire.
28. So that you may continue to buy name brands at discount prices, we offer only store credit on returned merchandise.

Conversational, Professional Tone
29. We're pleased that we will be able to participate in the Toys for Tots drive.
30. Your shipment was sent August 14.
31. Hi, Jeff: Please persuade Ramona to take over the budget preparation.
32. By the way, Danika was upset when the manager accused her of stealing office supplies. She may quit.
33. He didn’t have the nerve to criticize her to her face.
34. Employees changing their health plans must do so before November 1.

Positive and Courteous Language
35. Employees may use instant messaging as soon as a company policy is established.
36. As soon as our CPA confirms that your work is complete, we will authorize payment of your consultant’s fees.
37. With full community support, plans for the new health center can move forward.
38. Please record my October 3 payment of $359.50 to my account. I've attached my previous letters describing the problem.
39. We are sending you a replacement blade for your food processor. Please read page 18 of your operator's manual to learn how to attach this blade to give you effective performance.
40. Please begin using new passwords as of midnight June 15 to protect your personal information and company records.

Inclusive Language
41. All employees must wear their photo IDs on the job. OR: Every employee must wear a photo ID on the job.
42. Media Moguls hired Sheena Love for the position of project manager.
43. Skilled assistants proofread their bosses’ documents and catch any errors.
44. The conference will include special excursions for the spouses (or guests) of executives.
45. Serving on the panel are a veternarian, a doctor, two businesspeople, and a CPA.

Plain English and Familiar Words
46. The salary we are offering is equal to the pay of other managers.
47. To speed approval of this agreement, we urge you to vote yes.
48. In talking with the manager, I learned that you plan to end our contract.
49. Did the braking problem appear after our recall effort?
50. As you requested, we will question our agent.

Chapter 3

16. a
17. c
18. b
19. c
20. d
21. b

Sentence Faults

22. Fragment. Revision: Because 90 percent of all business transactions involve written messages, good writing skills are critical.
23. Fragment. Revision: The recruiter requested a writing sample, even though the candidate seemed to communicate well orally.
24. Comma splice. Revision: Major soft-drink companies considered a new pricing strategy. They tested vending machines that raise prices in hot weather.
25. Run-on. Revision: Thirsty consumers may think that variable pricing is unfair; they may also refuse to use the machine. OR: Thirsty consumers may think that variable pricing is unfair. They may also refuse to use the machine.
26. Comma splice. Revision: About half of Pizza Hut's 7,600 outlets make deliveries; the others concentrate on walk-in customers. OR: About half of Pizza Hut's 7,600 outlets make deliveries. The others concentrate on walk-in customers.
27. Run-on. Revision: McDonald's sold its chain of Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurants. The chain's share price doubled on the next day of trading.

Emphasis

28. b 33. a
29. b 34. b
30. a 35. a
31. a 36. b
32. b

Active Voice
37. The manager gave employees their checks at 4 p.m. every Friday.
38. McDonald's tried new spices and cooking techniques to improve its hamburgers.
39. My boss designed our new company logo.
40. The CEO commended the managers with the most productive departments.

Passive Voice
41. A computational error was discovered in the company's tax figures.
42. Your order for ten monitors will be shipped June 15.
43. The accounting statement was not submitted on time.
44. Deceptive diet advertisements by weight-loss marketers were targeted [by the Federal Trade Commission].

Parallelism
45. To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and enthusiastic.
46. If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut your credit card in half and return the pieces to us.
47. Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include inspecting incoming and outgoing vehicles, restricting access to laboratories, preventing workers from bringing personal items into food-handling areas, and inspecting packaging for signs of tampering.
48. The committee will continue to monitor merchandise design, product quality, and customer feedback.
49. To use the fax copier, insert your meter, load the paper trays, indicate the number of copies needed, and insert your original sheet through the feeder.
50. Sending an e-mail establishes a more permanent record than making a telephone call.

Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
51. After leaving the midtown meeting, Angela discovered that her car would not start. 52. Walking up the driveway, the detectives immediately spotted the Hummer parked in the garage. 53. To complete the project on time, the team established a new deadline. 54. Acting as manager, Mr. Lopez hired several new employees. 55. In our boardroom Michelle Mitchell presented a talk about drug problems.

Organizing Paragraph Sentences
56. 5
57. 4
58. 1, 2, 3, 6, 7

Building Coherent Paragraphs
59. The old sports scoreboard should be replaced for many reasons. This tired warhorse was originally constructed in the 1970s. It is now hard to find replacement parts when something breaks. In addition, the old scoreboard is not energy efficient. Finally, this old relic shows only scores for football games. Consequently, when we have soccer games or track meets, we are without any functioning scoreboard.

60. A number of high-level positions are available to current employees. These positions are in production, marketing, and administrative support. If you are interested, come to the Human Resources Department to see the list showing positions, qualifications, and job descriptions. Many of the jobs are now open. Therefore, you should apply immediately. Interviews must be scheduled within the next two weeks.

61. You are invited to a demonstration of our new software to be installed shortly. Paula Roddy, Quantum Software representative, will present the demonstration on Tuesday, April 18, from 9 a.m. to 12 noon. She will focus on three areas: operating system, word processing, and database program. Although the presentation can’t show everything, it will be helpful to all employees and particularly to administrative assistants, product managers, and payroll workers.

Chapter 4

Flabby Expressions
16. Although we lost the contract, we must now move forward.
17. Because prices are falling, we will invest soon. OR Because prices are falling, we will invest March 1.
18. We cannot fill the order until payment is received for previous shipments.
19. Because our manager is acquainted with your sales rep, we are aware of your price increases.
20. Generally, we would not accept the return; however, we will probably make an exception in this case.

Long Lead-Ins
21. I received your e-mail and its attachments.
22. We will observe Monday as a holiday.
23. Your homeowner's coverage expires soon.
24. The loss of laptops endangers company security.

There is/It is Fillers
25. Many businesses are implementing strict e-mail policies.
26. The CEO must give her approval to the plan. OR: The CEO must approve the plan.
28. The manager says that too many employees are taking long breaks.

Redundancies
29. Because the proposals are identical, we need not check each item.
30. We will let you know the amount of the remodeling charges.
31. The office walls were painted beige.
32. Our supervisor requested that all team members return to the office.

Trite Business Phrases
33. As you request, we will no longer send e-mail offers.
34. Thank you for considering our plea for community support.
35. As you request, we are sending the original copies separately.
36. Enclosed is a check for $700.

Note: Student responses may vary considerably from our suggested responses.
Jargon, Slang, Clichés
37. Although our last presentation failed, we are sure our new presentation will be well received.
38. Our team must be willing to think creatively when developing marketing ideas that capture attention.
39. As usual, our competitor has made an underhanded claim that we think is unfair. (OR: devious, false, undeserved)
40. If you refer to the budget, you will see provisions that prevent overspending.

Buried Verbs
41. Ms. Nelson appraised the home's value.
42. The board of directors will consider the contract at its next meeting.
43. Web-based customer service reduces overall costs.
44. In preparing this proposal, we must apply new government regulations.
45. Management recommended abandoning the pilot project.
46. The insurance investigator determined the fire damages.

Precise, Direct Words
47. After February 1 we will be located at 35 Riverside Drive.
48. The chief operations officer at Becker Products e-mailed us about changing the date from July 1 to July 15.
49. Please telephone, e-mail, or fax DataCom by September 20.
50. Chris and Lisa reported that Aliens From Earth's Core was convincing and frightening.
51. The feasibility report was poorly researched, written, and presented.

Lists, Bullets, and Headings
52. Yellin Resources specializes in the following preemployment background reports: • Professional reference interviews • Criminal reports • Driving records • Employment verification

53. When granting loans to customers, follow these steps: 1. Announce approval of the loan. 2. Specify the loan’s terms and limits. 3. Discuss the importance of timely payments. 4. Provide a phone number for assistance.

54. The American Automobile Association offers the following tips for safe driving: ( Start your drive well rested. ( Wear sunglasses in bright sunshine. ( Plan to stop every two hours for exercise breaks. ( Don’t drink alcohol or take cold and allergy medications before driving.

55. Our attorney recommends the following to avoid sexual harassment litigation: • Written policy. Establish an unequivocal [or clear] written policy prohibiting sexual harassment within our organization. • Training. Provide training sessions for supervisors regarding a proper work environment. • Complaint procedure. Arrange an official procedure to hear and investigate complaints.

Chapter 5

Message Openers
16. b
17. a
18. b
19. b

Opening Paragraphs
20. Terence Curran, Cindy Thompson, and Darlene McClure will attend a seminar on severance and separation benefits on February 11.
21. As an Intel employee, you are eligible for a Buying Power Card that entitles you to discounts on auto repair, carpet purchases, travel arrangements, and many other services.

Bulleted and Numbered Lists
22. You can avoid frustration and produce excellent digital prints by following three steps: 1. Calibrate your screen using the Pantone Spyder. 2. Edit your image so that it looks natural and balanced. 3. Configure your printer and select the correct paper type.
23. To write for the Web, follow three important tips: • Simplify your formatting. • Use strong visual prompts. • Limit needless directions.
24. Crime prevention and safety measures are just as important at work as they are at home, says the National Crime Prevention Council. Some important tips for preventing crime and improving workplace safety are the following: • Change locks before you move into a new office. • Report immediately all doors, windows, and locks that are not working. • Leave some interior lights on even when the business is closed. • Illuminate dark places around the building by adding lighting and trimming shrubs.

Chapter 6

Letter-Opening Choices
16. b
17. a
18. a
19. b
20. b

Direct Openings
21. Please answer the following questions about becoming an affiliate of Green Living Spaces, which I learned about at your Web site.
22. Yes, we do offer our Mediterranean-style patio umbrella in two colors: off white and forest green.
23. Yes, I would be happy to talk about digital résumés and portfolios at your business administration club meeting May 6.
24. Yes, you may send your Pilgrim DVD player directly to our Atlanta plant for inspection.
25. You will receive a corrected invoice within two days, and you may use your account again.

Closing Paragraph
26. Because of the delay in delivery of your hardwood floors, we want you to have a 10 percent discount on the total cost of your shipment. Your flooring is scheduled to arrive in one week. We trust that this discount and the arrival of your flooring will lighten your spirit and will prove our commitment to customer service. We look forward to serving you and your friends with quality flooring products in the future.

Chapter 7

Passive-Voice Verbs
16. Credit cards are no longer accepted for purchases under $5.
17. Patients will not be examined until their insurance has been verified. OR: Patients will be examined after their insurance has been verified.
18. Health and dental benefits are not offered until employees have been on the job for 12 months. OR: Health and dental benefits are offered after employees have been on the job for 12 months.
19. Arrangements were made for the investors to have lunch after the tour.
20. Large SUVs are not covered by your insurance.
21. Company tours are being postponed indefinitely because of security concerns.

Subordinate Clauses
22. Although your complete order cannot be shipped at this time, two corner workstations should arrive within five days.
23. Although we no longer print a complete catalog, we now offer all of our catalog choices at our Web site, which is always current.
24. Although an employment offer cannot be extended at this time, we appreciate your interest in our organization. 25. Although smoking is not allowed within 5 feet of a state building, the college has set aside 16 outdoor smoking areas.

Implying Bad News 26. We have your fresh fruit basket ready and will rush it to its destination as soon as you call us with your credit card number. 27. Although all our present funds are needed to lease new equipment and offices for our latest branch in Richmond, we hope to be able to support this endeavor in the future. 28. Because many staffers will be working on the Osgood Project until June 1, a retreat may be scheduled after that date.

Chapter 8

Strategies
16. Indirect
17. Indirect
18. Direct
19. Indirect
20. Direct
21. Indirect
22. Indirect
23. Direct
24. Direct
25. Direct

Chapter 9

Evaluating Headings and Titles

a. Functional/descriptive; dull, vague.
b. Talking; precise, effective
c. Functional/descriptive; dull, could be improved
d. Talking; vigorous, positive, effective
e. Both functional and talking; effective
f. Talking; vigorous, positive, effective
g. Talking; clear, effective
h. Functional/descriptive; vague

Note: No Writing Improvement Exercises appear in the remaining chapters.