In this paper, I will be discussing and connecting multiple communication concepts to the movie 500 Days of Summer. Specifically, I will discuss the differences between self-disclosure and lack of self-disclosure, how supportive versus defensive communication impacted the course of Tom and Summer’s overall relationship, and explain how those concepts ultimately lead to the relationship deterioration process. The problems Tom and Summer face throughout their relationship are important topics to be discussed due to the fact that they are common problems in many relationships today. It was very obvious at the beginning of the movie that Tom and Summer were two very different people. Tom was a shyer, less confident guy who was clearly …show more content…
Tom first encountered Summer when she was a new employee working in the same office as Tom. The first time they talked was when they were in an elevator together. Tom did not say anything to her and kept his headphones in, but Summer recognized the band that he was listening to and quickly disclosed to him that she knew the band and was a fan of them which, for Tom, confirmed his interest in her. They talked again when there was a work gathering at a bar for a karaoke night. That night, Tom and Summer disclosed more information about themselves, but it was all very surface level information. Summer disclosed that she was single and not looking for a relationship due to the fact that she did not believe in true love, and later in the night as Tom’s close friend McKenzie became more and more intoxicated, he revealed to Summer that Tom has feelings for her. After this discovery, Tom and Summer discussed being friends, and from there their relationship started. It was very obvious that Tom was willing to share more in depth information about himself, while Summer was very hesitant to share information …show more content…
Tom showed many more supportive communication skills, while Summer was much more defensive, but there were some occasions that were vice versa. When they initially talked about the existence of love, Tom was clearly much more open about his belief in love and was willing to listen to Summer about her opinion on the topic. Summer was clearly against the idea and did not accept that love could exist no matter what Tom said, which shows Tom’s provisional communication versus Summer’s certainty communication. Tom also showed defensive communication, such as strategic communication. For example, when Summer would be straightforward and honest and tell him that she wasn’t interested in a relationship, which was spontaneous communication, he would lie and manipulate her by pretending to agree in order to at least keep a friendship between them. Summer showed defensive communication, due to her tendency to be controlling. She controlled what she allowed Tom to see and know about her, and was willing to end the relationship anytime she felt uncomfortable. Tom was much more problem-oriented and was willing to try his best to resolve any tensions and problems. At first there was not a lot of reciprocity between the two at the beginning of the relationship but, they slowly became more open with each other. In the end, it was