A Stormy Silence
I am looking up at the vast and stormy, gray sky. The clouds are heavy; I feel like I can almost touch them from where I stand, in the middle of the school’s parking lot. Soon, the gods will cry. The air is fresh and tingles with the smell of autumn. My eyelids are heavy from days without enough sleep. However, I refuse to close them. I’ll just continue gazing at the upcoming war. …
Lately I’ve been having nightmares. They keep me awake, or rather; they make me feel like I never slept at all in the first place. In my dreams, I am always standing in my own kitchen. The window is open, yet I can’t see what’s on the other side. My whole body is covered in bees. They’re swarming. Crawling around on my skin, I can sense their tiny, tickling feet. I think I’m naked, because they are everywhere. No matter how much I want to move, I can’t. If I do, I know they will start attacking me, replacing the unpleasant unawareness with a never-ending, stinging pain.

When I wake up, drowsy and unguarded, the feeling of exhaustion lingers my mind. My body is and sore from the already fading memory of standing deadly still in an indefinite time of space. And so, the day begins with me, being more tired than I was the day before. …
It’s getting colder, darker. My thoughts are clouded, and I find myself longing for the time of release, when the water will fall freely from the sky. I want to be cleansed, drowned in the icy, crystal clear fluid Mother nature grants for free. Even though I am haunted by nightmares brought to me by my countless worries, in this moment I feel blessed.

Out of the corner of my eye. I catch a glimpse of a passing group of friends. They are chatting loudly, laughing happily, flowers appearing behind them as they walk past me. I find myself wondering what they are thinking. In a way we’re the same, but we’re also contradictions of ourselves. Don’t they have any worries, frustrations, or dirty, dark secrets? Oh, how I would love to know; to be reassured that I am not alone. Because standing in the school’s parking lot, waiting for a storm to wash away my tiny and unpredictable bees, is indeed, truly lonesome.

Yesterday my parents fought again. My siblings and I hid in the bathroom, acting out in our fantasies all the different outcomes their frequent disputes could result in. I forgot to feed the dog. Furthermore, I’m not even sure I remembered to lock the door before I went to school today. I didn’t finish my homework that was due to today. To make it even worse; I have a huge Calculous test tomorrow, which I haven’t reviewed for. My biggest problem though, is not having anyone to confess all these annoyingly occupying and disturbing thoughts.

I am now close to tears. My vision becomes blurry, and my surroundings disappears into an unfamiliar, although mostly welcomed, mist. Right before I succumb to my own shadows, nose running and throat burning, a prickling sensation flows down my spine. An invisible pressure builds up around me, making me shiver in anticipation. The air is filled with electricity.

The first raindrop hits me gently, like a floating kiss, on my forehead. Seconds later, all its brothers and sisters break through the mist around me. Without realizing it, my own tears have joined them in a mesmerizing and powerful dance. My own feelings are pouring out of me, and I lose myself while being stripped down to my core by the hammering rain.

Letting the water engulf me, I open my mouth to shout out nothing but a silent scream. The rain keeps falling, rinsing me and cooling down my heated skin. It keeps falling, killing every single, little bee until I am, once again, ready to close my eyes.