A Turning Point

Our lives change not only because of decisions we make but also because of the events that are beyond our control. But I firmly believe the most significant changes in our lives are the ones influenced by when we make an impossible decision within an event that is beyond our control. When we encounter these obstacles where there appears to be not right choice – only the lesser evil – we must find it within ourselves to make the right choice an option. In August of 2013, I had found myself at the crossroads of wrong and not right.

For most of the early years of my childhood, I hardly spoke and had never managed to make friends on my own. My family didn’t think much of it, assuming I was just a “shy” child. It wasn’t until we moved from the mountains and back into the Sacramento Area did their concern begin to rise. My sister and I were enrolled in the local public school and my sister was quick to make friends, whereas, I was not. My uncle believed I just needed time to warm up to the change of scenery, so he gave it some time and after several months, I still kept to myself. At this point, my uncle tried to give me a little push in the right direction by forcing me to accompany my sister whenever she did things with her friends. “Did you have fun?” He would ask when he showed up to pick us up.

“No.” I would say and he would quickly reassure me that there was always next time.

After about the fifth time of having this conversation, he began to grow ever so frustrated with the realization that I could not make friends. My uncle began to become angry with me when I told him I did not participate in any of the activities my sister and her friends did. He would also get angry at my sister for not trying hard enough to include me in the fun, since that was the only explanation he could muster for why I was not able to be social. Whenever he would ask for an explanation of my introverted behaviors I had nothing for him to hear – that is until the day one of my sister’s friends had got a dog. “Did you have fun?” He asked as my sister and I climbed in the car.

“No.” I replied.

“Well why not?” He snapped at me.

“I’d rather have a dog.” It was the first time I didn’t respond with a shoulder shrug.

Surprised, he reminded me of the three dogs we had back at home. I told him none of which were actually mine. A year had passed and I still had no friends and all I desperately wanted was a dog. When my seventh birthday rolled around, my aunt came home with a very fluffy white puppy that my sister named Blossom. I was overjoyed. My uncle said the deal was that Blossom was my dog and I would be responsible for caring for her. We also made a deal that in return for the dog I would try harder to make friends. But dogs are much easier to understand than people.

Blossom had become my best friend and amongst other things, she had helped me become more vocal through the years. In 2013, Blossom’s health had dropped severely. My uncle had told me I had two choices: To leave her be and let her suffering continue or to put her down, signing the death certificate of my best friend. She had been a part of the family for eleven years and no one was ready to see her go; but I was responsible for this life, so the decision was left in my hands. I knew this would be one of the hardest choices of my life because the outcome either way was going to be the loss of my best friend - it was simply a matter of how she would go. I took the time to evaluate each option and it didn’t take much to realize that putting her down was the lesser evil. It would be quick, it would be painless, and I would be there for her till the end. Even so, I didn’t want to experience the negative impact of following through with this choice. Despite knowing that nothing would be the same, I promised myself that I would continue to progress without her because she had been by my side through the hardest parts of my life. This experience had prompted me to make another life changing decision: On last Sunday of September 2013, I had moved the 180 miles to the Bay Area.

My life has been greatly impacted by a series of events that were out of my control, from the circumstances of my birth that led to the development of being on the Autism Spectrum to the health of my dog decaying before my eyes.With these significant parts of my life, I could not dictate the circumstances but with much effort, I managed to engineer how these conditions have influenced me.