My Adoption Story

I was a normal teen at the age of 16, enjoying time with friends, going to football games on Friday nights, going out to eat with my father on occasion and most of all spending time with the boyfriend. I was a normal sixteen year old girl, whose life was about to change. I was going to be a mother, yet I was still a child. I had to make one of the hardest decisions a person will ever have to make. What do I do with my baby? After a couple of months of dating my boyfriend at that time, we were so happy. It was Christmas break while I was visiting my mom for the holidays; my boyfriend was at his grandma’s house in Indiana. I didn’t know how to tell him that I was late getting my monthly cycle. So I decided to text him and it took him a while to text me back due to the fact that he was in shock that I might be pregnant. When school started back in January after the holidays and he came to me and asked if I was pregnant and I haven’t taken a test yet. Then it was February and I still have not received my monthly cycle and I knew that I had to be pregnant and I just kept hoping that I wasn’t because I was not ready to be a mother at such a young age. I was still in high school and wanted to go to college and be able to live in a dorm, as well as further my education. A few more weeks went by and I still not received my monthly cycle and I was beginning to get worried. When my boyfriend and I decided to tell his mom and dad that I was pregnant they didn’t say a lot a few days later his mom took me to the closest pharmacy store and bought me a pregnancy test and something to drink. When I needed to use the restroom I went into the bathroom and took the test. When I was done we waited for the results and the test came back positive. My boyfriend’s mom also bought me some prenatal vitamins, which was needed during pregnancy. We were all still shocked that the test came back positive and his mom gave me a hug and cried. She took me to the apartment that my dad and I were living at and dropped my boyfriend and I off so we can talk. We talked about our options and at that time we really wanted to keep the child and that is what our decision at that time. Both of us were against abortion so that decision was out of the question about being done. Neither of us knew much about adoption and we didn’t consider it at that time. It was Saturday early evening and my dad and I went to Ihop for dinner. We ordered our drinks and our food and we talked about how each other’s day was. When the waitress brought us our food and we began to eat, and after a few minutes of silence I told my dad “I need to tell you something. I am pregnant.” My dad looked up at me and he said “You are kidding me right.” I shook my head no and the rest of our dinner was quiet. No words were exchanged until we got home. I told him that I had an extra pregnancy test in my room if he wanted me to take it and he said yes. A few more minutes went by and I told him that this pregnancy that is was positive as well as the first one I took. My father’s impression was real surprising and I didn’t think that he would take it as well as he did. I was so scared when I told my father that I was pregnant and my instinct was that he was going to yell at me and say that I am grounded from my phone or from going anywhere for a long time. Since that wasn’t the case I told my dad that I didn’t plan on getting pregnant at such a young age and also for having people over when he was at work, especially when I knew I shouldn’t. I have called my mom the same night that I have told my dad that I was pregnant and my mom was not happy about it. She yelled at me in shock and I felt so bad that I got had gotten pregnant. After I hung up the phone with my mother I felt so horrible about even telling my mom that I was pregnant. I didn’t want to keep it a secret from her and that if she found out later and I didn’t tell her sooner, I just didn’t think that she would ever forgive me if I didn’t. It was the beginning of April and my boyfriend’s mom received some information about Open Adoption from The Gladney Center for Adoption in Fort Worth, Texas. An open adoption is where you can still receive letters, pictures, and sometimes you can see the child. But in my situation I have not been able to see my daughter. In fact I have received pictures of her and letters from the adoptive parents. Both my boyfriend and I looked over the information and reviewed their website for more information. After being alone and talking about it we decided that an Open Adoption is the best option for our child. My boyfriend’s mom, he and I visited the Adoption Agency and learning the services that they provide and also they said I can reside there starting when I am around five months pregnant, until six weeks after I give birth to our child. Staying the extra six weeks was not required. Also the rooms had a shower and bath tub combo. If you lived close enough you were able to go home so you didn’t have to be there all the time. I was one of the only girls that were was able to go home; most of them came to The Gladney Center for Adoption in Fort Worth, Texas from another state. On May 4, 2010 my boyfriend, his mom as well as my father went to the adoption center to be able to sign me in and so I could be able to live there with the permission of my father. It took a little bit of time to get settled in and be able to get to know several of the girls that were already living in the dorm. I went to my first doctor’s appointment that Friday, and the following week later I went to the doctor’s office again to have a sonogram done and I found out that I was having a girl. After talking about girl names with my boyfriend we decided on Leah Renee for her but the adoptive parents already had a name chosen out for her, the name is Lauren Catherine. The weeks went by and the girls that lived in the dorm, many of them had their child and many left right after the birth of their child. As well as many I was able to get to know myself. A few more girls moved in. as well. We all were able to have our own room. If there weren’t enough rooms for every girl that was living there, then we would have to share with someone. We were all lucky that any of us had to share a room. As the days went by and the doctor appointments came and gone went and everything looked great. I was approaching my due date, my case worker that was handling the paperwork called me into her office and asked me what I would like in couples parents so that she can could get me some profiles that I can could go through. Profiles are a binder or a small packet that the adoptive parents put together so that young women that are looking to put their child up for adoption can choose where their child goes. My case worker was able to get me some profiles within a few days, and she said that I was able to take them home and look them over when I went home that weekend. When I was able to go over to my boyfriend’s house and we looked at the many profiles that I was given to look at. There were two couples that I really liked and I asked him what two that he really liked and it came about that we both liked the same two. We ended up picked the same couple between the two. On Monday I was able to hand her my caseworker the profiles that I didn’t want and show her which one my boyfriend and I had chosen out. Two days later I was able to call them and talk to them to make sure that I had chosen the best couple for our child. We talked about religion, schooling, sports and what kind of jobs they work had. One thing that both my boyfriend and I were able to do is that we went out to dinner with the adoptive parents. I thought that was one of the best things that could help me finalize my decision on them being the parents to my daughter. As we talked over dinner, I felt even more comfortable with them being the couple that I have had chosen to be the parents to my daughter when I was not in the best position or the best place to raise a child at that point in my life. As time grew nearer to my due date I was getting nervous about doing the open adoption and about not being able to see my daughter when she grows up. I went to my last doctor’s appointment and the doctor said that I needed to have a cesarean section as also known as C-section. A cesarean section is a an operation in which the doctor performs an operation to remove the child due to the fact the child is was breached. Breached position is where the child is bottom first or feet first, and not head first to come out of the birth canal. On September 9, 2010 Lauren Catherine was born at 5:23 pm. I was so happy that I was able to hear her cry for the first time. I stayed four days in the hospital, and I was able to do the normal duties that a mom would do. I fed, clothed and also changed her. As the visit came short as I went back to the adoption agency witch was a cross the street from the hospital and my daughter went home with a lady who keeps babies until the papers are signed and the baby is handed to the adoptive parents from the birth parents. I was able to see my daughter after I left the hospital and when she was five days old I signed away my rights to finalize the adoption on my end. When she turned eight days old there was an adoption ceremony for her. An adoption ceremony is where the adoptive parents and the birth parents come together and the birth parents are able to hand the baby to the adoptive parents to them. It lasted about an hour long and I went back to my dorm room and cried. I know that she was going to be in a good home and that she would be cared for, and that she would have more than what I would be able to do for her. Now it has been three and a half years later and there is not a doubt in my mind that I have made the wrong decision in doing adoption. This is the best choice that I could have made for my child. I miss her every day. Some people may say that they can’t understand how I could give my child away, but I look at it is that I gave her a better life than what I could have been able to given her. This is My adoption Story.