Chapter 2
Understanding the Mourning Process

J. William Worden developed a concept he called the “Tasks of Mourning” to help with the understanding of the mourning process for clinicians. Following is a breakdown of those four tasks:
1) To Accept the Reality of Loss – After a death, the survivor always has a sense of denial, that it really hasn’t happened. This comes in the form of searching behavior, misidentifying the deceased in the living, and having to remind themselves that the deceased is really dead. When people get stuck in refusing to believe the person has died, they are in denial. Denial can take several forms such as facts of the loss, meaning of the loss, or irreversibility of the loss. Also used in denial is the use of spiritualism – searching for a reunion with the dead by attending séances or spiritualist churches. Since acceptance of their loss is intellectual as well as emotional, it takes time. Traditional rituals (such as a funeral) can help the survivors with acceptance of their loss. This is harder for individuals not able to be present for the death and/or unable to attend their funeral.
2) To Work Through the Pain of Grief – Everyone feels some level of pain after experiencing a loss, and not everyone experiences the same level of pain. In order to not feel the pain, people will do and respond in different ways. They may try to cut off their feelings by denying the pain, use thought-stopping procedures, idealizing the dead, and changing geography. After non-acceptance of their pain, at some point they will have a breakdown and will need help in facilitating them through this task in order to not carry the pain the rest of their lives.
3) To Adjust to an Environment in Which the Deceased in Missing – There are three adjustments a person needs to make after a loss. They are 1) external adjustment – coming to terms with their