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Art of Loving

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Submitted By midi
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I found book The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm to be an interesting and easy to read book. Throughout the book, Fromm goes about applying his theories about love to how people go about their lives. I found myself agreeing with most of the things that he said and when I applied them to real life examples I found most of them to be true. Fromm first begins by saying that people think that there is not anything to be learned about love and there are a few premises on why people believe this. To start, people’s problems are not based on the question of if they are capable of loving; it is the questions of are they lovable and are people able to love them (Fromm, 1). People use different paths in order to achieve being loved. The first path is mostly used by men in which their goal is to be as successful, powerful, and as rich as their place in society would allow them. The next one is mainly used by women where they make themselves attractive by dressing and looking a certain way. Both men and women make them themselves attractive to others by learning how to interact with other people and hold conversations, be modest, and develop pleasant manners (Fromm, 2). Fromm states, “… what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal (Fromm, 2).” Secondly, people assume that love is simple, but finding the thing to be loved is the difficult part. During the Victorian age people married for social reasons and people would fall in love after they were married. In current society it is the opposite; people search for “romantic love first and when they find it they get married. Fromm explains that in this culture love is treated as a market. Both men and women look for love as if they are shopping, trying to find the best product with the qualities they’re attracted to. When two people become attracted to

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