Relationship Reflection Interview and Book
COMM 1031=

Books only will be viewed by me!

1) Tell me who you will interview: See Due Date on Schedule See number 4/2nd page for what to submit 2) Transcript (typed) of interview: See Due Date on Schedule See number 8/2nd page of these guidelines for questions to ask 3) Submit Books D2L: See Due Date on Schedule See number 12/4th page of these guidelines for what book needs 4) Need Permission forms scanned and submitted with book or sent to me via snail mail by book due date

140 pts. Total: 15 pts. First paper/telling me who you will interview; 25 pts.: transcript; 100 pts. Book
Must have permission forms before grade is released on these! No permission forms, no grade given till received.

Objective: The purpose of this assignment is for you to learn more about relationships and the communication within them that contributes to their success. You will do this by interviewing the people, creating a transcript first, then creating a book from the interview information.

Materials: • You will need to put your interview findings, pictures, pictures of artifacts, etc, into an electronic book • Can be Word or Power Pt. format • Will need a minimum of 5 pictures of those you interview representing various times in their relationships (early part, mid-part, children, things they like to do/pictures of them doing those things, houses they lived in, cars they have/had, places they have been/them at those places, etc) • We have a scanner in the library you can use for free to scan pictures, etc, to use in the book. • A tape recorder might be useful to interview someone, or be sure to take detailed notes if a recorder isn’t used (could videotaped, to—just be sure both parties are fine with this). • Can check out digital tape recorders at our library—can have for 24 hours for free, $1 for each day after that

Guidelines: 1) Think about a couple (could be a friendship or intimate relationship) you know who has been together for several years (more than 2) and would be willing to be interviewed (both people must participate vs. just one) and have information shared in class. I’d like the relationship to be someone’s other than your own. 2) There are some other options to this. However, please note some of these often are harder for students to do because the material is more difficult to apply to some of these relationship: a. can be someone widowed (thus, only 1 person interview); b. can be siblings (but must be 8 or older); c. could be a parent/sibling relationship (again, must be over 18) d. and, you cannot be interviewed, unless exceptional circumstance that’s discussed with me first. e. You will have to adapt the questions below to that kind of relationship—will take some creativity on your part to adapt accordingly 3) If you absolutely have no one to interview, contact me immediately to come up with options

4) Once you decide on who you want to interview, ask them if you have their permission to interview them, decide on when you will interview them (might be in one or a few sessions), and have them sign the permission forms (see last page of guidelines). Also, ask them if you can use their real names (first only) or if they want you to create pseudonyms. a. You will tell me who you will interview, their full names, how long they’ve been together (must be at least 2 years), what type of relationship they have, if they both can be interviewed and are willing to be interviewed (show them the questions) if you can get 5 pictures of them; if both are above 18 b. Type up that information and send to D2L dropbox c. See top of paper for due date. d. PLEASE: Do not interview anyone who is resistant to this, unwilling to talk; having severe relationship issues at the time of the interview 5) Then, ask them questions about their relationship: be sure to either record the interview and/or take notes so you can use this information in your book. a. You will turn in your transcript notes. b. Be sure they are typed. c. See Schedule for due date. d. See Content for example of “A” quality transcripts; you want to be sure each question below in number 7 is asked or modify as needed; you want details vs. vague responses

6) Please let them know you’d like to collect artifacts that represent, show their relationship (copies only or pictures of): i.e. pictures of them when they first met, got married, them together; letters they wrote to one another, pictures of something they gave to the other, etc. These items will be electronically displayed in your book. 7) Please tell them they only need to disclose what they feel comfortable sharing, but if they don’t share much with you, you might need to reconsider interviewing someone new.

8) Main Required Questions to ask—be sure you get each person’s response; also, it’s helpful to forward these questions to the couple ahead of time so they can look over/prepare; print off for the interview, too, and have your book with you at interview and something to take notes/record

Note: If interviewing parent/child or siblings, the First Meeting and Stages parts will need to be modified to fit those kinds of relationships; Ch. 10 gives more information about those types of relationships

** For all sections, the more detail the better/ask “who, what, when where, why questions” a. First Meeting: i. When, where did you two meet? Explain that first meeting. ii. What were your perceptions of one another (link to information from Chapter 3)? iii. What made you two attracted or interested in one another (refer to information about relationship stages, Ch. 9)? Can discuss nonverbal elements here, too (Ch. 6) b. Relationship Development/Stages: i. How long was your ‘involvement’ stage (page 208, from DeVito’s 6 Stages of Relationship Ch. 9)? ii. How long did it take you two to feel connected, establish a relationship, and/or develop intimacy? iii. If married, when did you get married; if gets, when did you have kids—ages, names iv. What helped you two connect, establish the relationship, and/or develop the intimacy? v. What keeps you both connected through the years today? vi. Go over some of the Relationship Theories (240-246) with them and see which of those (or, perhaps a few of them are) are most applicable to their relationship and why. c. Relationship Crisis/Struggles: let those interviewed know this may be the toughest section to talk about i. What are some of the main kinds of struggles, conflicts, disagreements you two have faced together? Intercultural differences? Finances? Children? Family? Health issues? ii. Typically, how do you two typically work through conflicts--What is each of your conflict styles (avoidance, aggressive, etc) (255-256, Ch. 11)? Are these styles effective? Why/why not? iii. Could you tell me about an example/examples of your biggest conflict/struggle, impact on the relationship, and how you two worked through that experience? iv. Did that experience move your relationship into Deterioration (212) or REPAIR (213)? How so? d. Communication strengths: i. Of the various interpersonal skills (certain listening skills-Chapter 4; direct messages/assertiveness: Ch. 5; nonverbal decoding: Ch. 6; emotional expression/responding: Ch. 7; conversational principles: Ch. 8, and so forth) we’ve discussed in our course, which of those does each person feel she/he has that contributes to the success of the relationship? ii. Discuss 2 (one for each person), specifically; give examples to show you these strengths play out in the relationship e. Anything else you want to share with me that you already haven’t that you think is important to understanding your relationship?

9) Once you have interviewed the two people, be sure you check over your notes, verify that they’re correct, ask follow up questions, etc. Thank them for their time. They may want to see your book when finished, so keep that in mind.

10) TRANSRIPT: TYPICALLY, A STRONG TRANSCRIPT IS NO LESS THAN 4 SINGLE SPACED PAGES (ONLY DOULBE SPACE BETWEEN QUESTIONS); NEED TO HAVE ALL QUESTIONS ASKED, DEVELOPED EXAMPLES GIVEN FOR RESPONSES; ASK THE WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY QUESTIONS

Grading Rubrics for Transcript:

• 22.5-25 PTS.: ALL QUESTIONS ANSWERS, DEVELOPED, SPECIFIC EXAMPLES, COLLEGE-LEVEL WRITING DISPLAYED; ON TIME; 4 PAGES OR MORE TYPICALLY • 20-22 PTS: ONE ABOVE AREA NEEDING SOME WORK; LITTLE LESS THAN 4 PAGES TYPICALLY (3 ¼, 3 ½) • 17.5-19.5 PTS.: TWO ABOVE AREAS NEEDING SOME WORK; AROUND 3 PAGES • 15-17 PTS: THREE ABOVE AREAS NEEDING SOME WORK; AROUND 2 ½ PAGES • If 1-2 pages only, and/or excessive grammatical/mechanical errors, might receive just half credit or no credit and asked to develop work in book • Can be late by 3 days for up to a B grade

11) Next step is to put a book together based on responses to the questions you asked. The point is not to put together every single thing they said but only things that are telling of interpersonal relationships/communication, and are interesting to share with others (as they might give us some insight into intimate relationships, friendships). 12) Your book should include (will be typed pages and put into an album of sorts—I’ll show examples): a. Title page b. Table of contents c. These sections (from above questions in number 7; and, one final section/see below; make sure sections are marked clearly with title pages or title headings) i. First Meeting and Relationship Development/Stages (at least l ½ page double-spaced text); include any pictures, letters, artifacts related to this

ii. Relationship Crisis/Struggles (at least 1 page, double-spaced text); include any artifacts Related to this iii. Communication Strengths (at least 1 page, double-spaced text); include any artifacts iv. Final section about “your final reflection/analysis (at least one page double-spaced text)—discuss in this section two things you learned from this interview about interpersonal communication/relationships; be sure you use concepts/theories from the textbook to illustrate points, and cite from text when using course concepts d. Please either scan or send me a copy of your signed permission forms when you turn in your book (only I will see these forms). Need when book is due. e. When you cite from the book, use “” for direct quotes and cite the page numbers from the book like this (DeVito 52). f. MUSIC OPTION: Some students who use Power Pt. incorporate music into their books—music that might be the couple’s first song they danced to, or a song at their wedding, or a song playing when they first met

Grading Rubrics for Relationship Reflection Book 100 pts. total /100 (need permission forms to release grade)

Name

People Interview: Overall Notes:

| |Yes |Somewhat |No |Points |Notes |
| | | |0 | | |
|Professional book either | | | | | |
|created in Word or Power | | | |/20 | |
|Pt.; creative title page, | | | | | |
|table of content used, clear| | | | | |
|section headings; at least 5| | | | | |
|pictures effectively used | | | | | |
|and displayed in the book; | | | | | |
|remember, you can add music,| | | | | |
|too/not required, though | | | | | |
|Included the 3 required | | | |/28 | |
|sections and final | | | | | |
|reflection section (4 | | | | | |
|total); page limit met due | | | | | |
|to insightful, interesting, | | | | | |
|in-depth text | | | | | |
|Demonstrated understanding | | | |/28 | |
|of text/course | | | | | |
|concepts/theories; brought | | | | | |
|in and cited from DeVito in | | | | | |
|each section (if no | | | | | |
|connection or very minimal | | | | | |
|reference to the text; can’t| | | | | |
|get above a “C”) | | | | | |
|College-level writing | | | |/24 | |
|displayed; effective | | | | | |
|grammatical and mechanical | | | | | |
|skills displayed (if more | | | | | |
|than 8 typos, can’t get more| | | | | |
|than a “C” on the project) | | | | | |

Permission form for Relationship Reflection Book COMM 1031 Please print the top information, then sign your name Each person being interviewed must sign a form Scan copies and submit with book; or, send via snail mail by book due date, please ********No Permission forms, no grade given out till received

I give (student’s name) permission to use

my story, pictures, and information about my relationship with .

I understand that the book will only be seen by the course professor. Full names should be used, unless those interviewed prefer pseudonyms. I also understand that a brief summary of the students’ reflections of this interview will be presented in the course online discussion board seen by other class members, but the interviewee’s names do not have to be given in this instance and pictures do not have to be shown here, unless approved by those being interviewed.

(printed name)

(signed name)

(e-mail and/or phone number)

(date of interview)

I give (student’s name) permission to use

my story, pictures, and information about my relationship with .

I understand that the book will only be seen by the course professor. Full names should be used, unless those interviewed prefer pseudonyms. I also understand that a brief summary of the students’ reflections of this interview will be presented in the course online discussion board seen by other class members, but the interviewee’s names do not have to be given in this instance and pictures do not have to be shown here, unless approved by those being interviewed.

(printed name)

(signed name)

(e-mail and/or phone number)

(date of interview)