...stuff of which attachment and, as we will see, love are made.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 26). I have found that few things in life are absolute, but the previous statement is one of those few. From the very beginning of our lives, our need for human contact and closeness is glaringly obvious. Our attachment styles, be they secure, avoidant, or anxious, are formed while we are just infants. These attachment styles tie directly into how we, as adults, execute the different dimensions of love (passion, intimacy, and commitment), in our various individual love relationships. Individual Attachment Styles “Both nature—the infant’s inherent need to bond and belong—and nurture—parental responsiveness—contribute to attachment.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 25). Recent research has been shown to indicate that temperament has a base in genetics and that it is not all left to nurturing, as was previously believed. Personally, I am glad that science has begun to discover what I always have suspected to be true! A parent can be warm and responsive, yet their child could still grow to have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, however the opposite is true as well. I have personal experience with this, which is why I am certain of its validity. Secure Attachment Style Our text describes the secure attachment style in the following manner: “Infants who experience warm, responsive parents show secure attachment.” (Bolt, 2004, p. 23). This is the most prevalent of the three attachment styles, with roughly...
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...Attachment Styles and Relationships Jennifer Oliver PSY/220 Adam Miller Part One When you have two individuals and they share an emotional attachment, we call this an attachment style. According to Bolt (2004), there are three main elements. Care, commitment and closeness. I like to remember them easily by calling them the 3 C’s. Attachment styles start at birth. It is important to realize that although nature and nurture are both important elements that help develop our attachment style they are not the only factors. Our parents, close relatives, even siblings can help us develop our individual attachment style. The first attachment style is closeness, from the time we are infants, we experience either the closeness of our caregivers or the absence of it. Closeness, when we are infants and even in other stages form emotional bonds. It is basic human nature to want to be close to those we feel love for. Infants who are not exposed to closeness in their early development can become anxious and scared. In some cases this is never overcome, in others as the child grows, they may experience other more stable and secure relationships and be able to overcome the closeness issues from their childhood. The second component in attachment style is care. This is a crucial element important to our development. Humans naturally want to feel safe and secure and to know that they are cared for and that there are those who would protect them at all cost. A child...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Part I Robert Sternberg created a theory called the triangular theory of love. This theory is based on three dimensions called passion, intimacy, and commitment. Passion is what motivates a person to pursue someone he or she is attracted too. This motivation is a component of love attraction, romance, and sexual desire. When I think about the word intimacy it makes me think of two people close to each other. I imagine two people loving and caring for each other. These two individuals also trust each other not because they have to but because they want to. Intimacy is not something that can be forced. Commitment in my mind is a decision. It is the choice one makes to stay in a relationship. An example of a commitment would be wedding vows. I believe all three dimensions are needed to fulfill a loving and lasting relationship. Passion is what drives two individuals together. This is what starts the “getting close” step of the relationship. As the two people get to know each other they begin to get close to each other. This closeness is known as intimacy. These two individuals have complete trust in each other and can openly tell each other what they are feeling. These steps then lead to commitment. The two individuals have grown close enough to each other that they are now ready to commit themselves to each other. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love forms other types of love relationships. There are seven different types...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Anna Sylvester PSY/220 Darren Iwamoto In one’s life we all develop an attachment style based on the way we were raised as a child. There are three main attachment styles called, Secure Attachment, Avoid-ant Attachment and Anxious Attachment styles. Individuals with secure attachment tend to be more open to people. They feel more comfortable depending on others and worries less about whether they are accepted by others. Those with avoid-ant attachments are less invested in their relationships, they fear commitment and feels uncomfortable when others try to get too close to them. Then there is the anxious attachment, individuals with an anxious attachment are okay with others getting close to them, but often feel like others are reluctant to get as close to them as they would like. Anxious attachment individuals often fear that their spouse may leave them or that they may not love them. Their obsession to get really close to their partner can sometimes scare their partner away. These attachment styles shape your adult relationships and better understanding of them, can help each individual in their love relationship. Secure Attachment, a secure attachment is a bond that is developed when a child is raised with a very nurturing parents or caregivers. These parents or caregivers...
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...Attachment Anxiety and Attachment Avoidance in Relationship Satisfaction considering Gender Cansu Çelik, Hazal İlkem Özer Kadir Has University Abstract The present research aimed to examine how attachment style affects people’s relationship satifaction taking into account gender differences. All attachment styles indicate useful information about relationship situations. We hypothesized that, for both genders, those who have attachment avoidance and attachment anxiety were more likely to have conflicts about their partners, thus they would feel less satisfied in their relationships. We conducted a survey among male (N= 97, age M = 22) and female (N = 139, age M = 21) university students aged between 18-25. Participants were using at least one social media account such as Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and also answered questions about their relationship either with their romantic partner or a best friend (RAS). Regression results, as expected, indicated that participants who displayed attachment avoidance and attachment anxiety were less satisfied in their relationship Keywords: relationship satisfaction, attachment anxiety, attachment avoidance, gender Attachment Anxiety and Attachment Avoidance in Relationship Satisfaction Most psychological theories indicate that an individual’s wellbeing and comfort develops and enhances by the relationships...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships Kathy Schwab PSY/220 July 29, 2012 Edward Billingslea Attachment Style and Relationships Part 1 Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is based on three dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. In Sternberg’s model passion, intimacy, and commitment each represent one side of a triangle describing the love shared by two people. Passion means strong emotion, excitement, and physiological arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction. Intimacy refers to mutual understanding, warm affection, and mutual concern for the other person’s welfare. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the long haul. By putting together different combinations of the three ingredients, Sternberg’s model describes several varieties of love and the specific components of romantic and companionate love (Baumgardner and Crothers, 2009). Romantic love is a combination of intimacy and passion. It is more than infatuation, its liking with the added excitement of physical attraction but without commitment. Companionate love is slow-developing love built on high intimacy and a strong commitment. When youthful passions fade in a marriage, companionate love, based on deep, affectionate friendship provides a solid foundation for a lasting and successful relationship. Fatuous love combines high passion and commitment with the absence of intimacy. The commitment is based on passion and sustained solely by passion....
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...Attachment, in dictionary terms, means affection, fondness, or sympathy for someone or something. In psychotherapy, attachment theory refers to how those attachments impact human interpersonal relations. Attachment theory was first conceptualised by John Bowlby, a psychoanalyst who dedicated his time to studying the affectional bonds which form between a child and his primary caregiver. In Segal and Jaffe (2013), the affectional bond is simply but realistically defined as one's first love relationship. Bowlby referred to attachment as a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings. This bond is initially formed by the first attachment figure a person comes across in life. This is in most cases is the mother. In other situations, it may be a father, or where a child is orphaned or put in foster care, it could vary. It refers to anyone who remains in a central role in a child's life for at least the first three to five years. This period is crucial because it is when a child's brain rapidly develops. Bowlby (1984) says that attachment behaviour is most active and overt before the age of three but the need for attachment figures remains throughout life. Bretherton (1985) found that after three, it is less frequent and noticeable as the child gains increased abilities to protect itself and coping skills. Attachment behaviour is however more noticeable during times of exceptional stress. According to Segal and Jaffe (2013), an attachment bond shapes an infant's brain...
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...Abigail Graves Attachment Theory Paper The attachment theory is used to explain the relationships between humans. This was primarily developed by a psychoanalysis John Bowlby who raised the issue about maternal deprivation that developed into the attachment theory. It mainly focused on the idea that infants need to create a bound with their caregiver in order to develop emotionally and socially appropriately. It was not until recently that the theory was extended to attachment in adults. Through new research it was found that these early relationship can have a profound affect peer relationships at all ages, romantic and sexual attraction, and responses to the care needs of others as well. This is explained through case studies and applying the finding to the theories developed by Bowlby and Mary Main, defining the types of adult attachment and analyzing those to a personal style of attachment. With understanding the theories of attachment two psychologist decided to expand on the ideas that had been developed by others in their field. Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz’s expanded on the idea that was presented by Bowlby about how children internalize their attachment relationships with their parents, and internalize that for future relationships. They “…have only recently examined the relationship between working models of attachment and social and emotional adaptation in adults” (Bartholomew and Horowitz, 227, 1991). Meaning there is studies now that examine the way...
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...Attachment Style and Relationships PSY 220 Part I: Robert Sternberg created his triangular theory of love based on three dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. The degree to which a relationship demonstrates these three dimensions determines the type of love relationship. People begin love relationships with those who care for them as children. These early relationships can have a great effect on their adult relationships. Passion reflects attraction, romance, and sexual desire. A relationship that contains passion would not be a relationship that you would share with you parents or children. This is more to describe a romantic relationship that you share with another person. According to Sternberg (1998) “The key ingredients of romantic love are passion and intimacy.” Passion is what makes us want to live our lives together with somebody that we fall in love; passion is what makes us see qualities in our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife that we like and decide that we want to live the rest of our life with them, but sometimes this same passion becomes decreased to the amount that a small decision that is not in your favor, can create a good argument and we begin to create a wall around our heart, things or decisions that we can easily compromise on in the past, we now decide to take our stand and by so doing we can create problems in our relationship. Intimacy is that feeling of being close to another person and affectionate to them as well. It can happen...
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...Three Main Styles of Attachment Christina Stoner Com/172 10/27/2015 Daniel Gleason Three Main Styles of Attachment In your relationships, have you ever tried to communicate with someone and had a hard time explaining your point? Sometimes we only understand the answer that makes the most sense to us. We forget that everyone has a different reaction style that stems from their behavioral habits. What may seem clear to you may be more challenging for another person. Secure, anxious, and avoidant are three main styles of attachment. These styles affect the way our society bonds in their relationships. Therefore, habits are formed to fulfill selective personal needs. The bond that is created by a mother and her child in the first year of life will dictate the particular attachment pattern that the child will gain. (Beebe, Jaffe, and Markese 2010, p. 97) This theory originated from John Bowlby. Bowlby's studies in childhood behavior and development led him to the conclusion that a firm attachment to a caregiver gives a sense of connection and foundation for that child. Without this kind of bonding experience, Bowlby found that most of a person’s developmental energy is disbursed by pursuing a form of stability and balance.( Karandashev, Benton, and Edwards, 2012, p.1) Therefore, anxious and avoidant attachments are fear driven by sudden changes and they don’t usually like to rely on support. The opposite attachment is secure. This results in a person feeling comfortable...
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...on our lives. Our attachment styles mediate our ability to from and maintain intimate relationships and, therefore, have a profound effect on our social, psychological, and emotional well-being (Givertz, Woszidlo, Segrin, & Knutson, 2013). The purpose of this literature review is to examine the relationship between the avoidant/ insecure attachment style and intimate relationship issues. In other words, to examine the effect that a lack of trust and commitment and a high amount of fear over being abandoned has on a relationship. Attachment Styles Background Attachment style is a concept that assists in explaining the way in which we react and relate to other people and are a type...
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...their attachment style. Attachment styles affect relational quality, which leads to different relationship outcomes. The study evaluates whether partner perceptions of conflict styles and relational maintenance strategies differ as a function of attachment styles—particularly with the context of friendship. Bippus and Rollin’s article can be found in the Communication Reports inside the Sacramento State Library. This article targets the topic of conflict management in relationships by providing more information on the attachment styles that communicators may use in daily lives or conflict. Having found this article on the Sacramento State library website, the article proves credible with origin from an academic, approved journal. This study was conducted with the individual’s close friend, including their personal understandings and perspective of the relationship. The hypothesis states that individuals in relationships will be rated by their friends with more prosocial maintenance behavior than with fearfuls or dismissive qualities. It is believed that friends of securely attached individuals will report greater satisfaction in the relationship than those friends of non-securely attached individuals....
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...When a Romantic Relationship Turns Ugly Love is the central focus of a romantic relationship but the relationship can often turn sour and ugly when partners experience negative emotions. Many obstacles hinder a relationship from becoming successful such as being unfaithful, lack of communication and the inability to compromise. All these components can potentially hurt a relationship, however, from my personal experience jealousy (a combination of hurt, anger and fear) is one of the most dangerous threats that can ultimately end a relationship. The lyrics in “Everything I’m not” by the Veronicas depict that romantic partners hold negative emotions towards one another when they are involved in an unhealthy relationship. The key components that identify the instability of the relationship mentioned in this song are jealousy, social comparison and infidelity. Jealousy, generally considered a negative aspect in interpersonal relationships, can eventually be led by possessing an insecure attachment style. “Everything I’m not” boldly starts off with the Veronicas echoing the words of the guy, “‘Oh no don’t go changing’, that’s what you told me from the start.” The Veronicas explore on the fact that the relationship ended because of the man. The lyrics, “Cause the girl that you want, she was tearing us apart. Cause she’s everything, everything I’m not,” looks at social comparison because she compares herself to the other woman’s beauty and intelligence. This explores further...
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...on adult relationships (24 Marks) The child is dependent on their primary caregiver to give them these skills and experiences. The attachment theory suggests that people develop an 'internal working model' of what they believe relationships should be like based on the relationship they had with their caregiver as an infant. John Bowlby suggested that we develop an attachment style as a result of our childhood relationships with our caregivers. Different attachment types have different effects to adult behaviour and relationships. Firstly a disorganised/disoriented insecure attachment will have an effect on adult behaviour as an adult the individual tends to be insensitive, chaotic and despite the fact they want a secure relationship they cannot trust their partner and can also be abusive. Secondly an anxious/avoidant insecure attachment will have an effect with an individual who will often have difficulty in forming secure, trusting and intimate relationships as they find it hard to trust romantic partners. Thirdly an anxious/resistant insecure attachment will have an effect on the individuals adult relationships tend to make the person anxious as well as they often want to form close relationships but fears that their partner will not return their affections or reject them. Lastly a secure attachment will have an effects on adult relationship as the Individuals who have secure attachments with their caregivers tend to form mature and long-lasting adult relationships where they...
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...University of Phoenix | Attachment Style and Relationships | PSY/220: Part 1 & Part 2 | | Lyndsey McMahon | 11/4/2012 | | Part 1 Sternberg's Theory of Love describes three components that make up different combinations or levels of love that can be shared between two people. The three components are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy refers to understanding and concern for the other person. This component deals with warm affection and getting to know each other on a deeper level. Passion refers to stronger feelings of emotion, excitement and physiological attraction. This component usually deals with sexual attraction and desire. Commitment refers to the conscious decision to stay in the relationship through the ups and downs. This component deals with putting in an effort to maintain the relationship and carries a sense of devotion for that relationship. By combining any of these components, you get different varieties of love. When combining intimacy and passion you get what Sternberg calls romantic love. For example, a summer love shows high levels of intimacy and passion, but no commitment to extend the relationship further. When combining intimacy and commitment in the model you gets what's called companionate love. An example of this...
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