Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

********* To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

********* The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

*********

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

********* In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

********* All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

********* Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

********* Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works.

********* If at first you don't succeed.. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

********* You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

********* Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

********* 42.7% of all statisticsare made on the spot.

********* If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

********* If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

********* You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

********* After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

********* The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.

********* Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

1 MOPED is the short term for 'Motorized Pedaling'.
2. POP MUSIC is 'Popular Music' shortened.
3. BUS is the short term for 'Omnibus' that means everybody.
4. FORTNIGHT comes from 'Fourteen Nights' (Two Weeks).
5. DRAWING ROOM was actually a 'withdrawing room' where people withdrew after Dinner. Later the prefix 'with' was dropped..
6. NEWS refers to information from Four directions N, E, W and S..
7. AG-MARK, which some products bear, stems from 'Agricultural Marketing'.
8. JOURNAL is a diary that tells about 'Journey for a day' during each Day's business.
9. QUEUE comes from 'Queen's Quest'. Long back a long row of people as waiting to see the Queen. Someone made the comment Queen's Quest..
10. TIPS come from 'To Insure Prompt Service'. In olden days to get Prompt service from servants in an inn, travelers used to drop coins in a Box on which was written 'To Insure Prompt Service'. This gave rise to the custom of Tips.
11. JEEP is a vehicle with unique Gear system. It was invented during World War II (1939-1945). It was named 'General Purpose Vehicle (GP)'.GP was changed into JEEP later.
12.. Coca-Cola was originally green.
13. The most common name in the world is Mohammed..
14. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
15. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
16. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.
17. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
18. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
19. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
20.. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
21. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
22. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
23. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. o Spades - King David o Clubs - Alexander the Great, o Hearts – Charlemagne o Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
24. Horse Statue in a Park…
• If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
• If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle
• If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
25. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.
26. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
27. A snail can sleep for three years.
28. All polar bears are left handed.
29. Butterflies taste with their feet.
30. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
31. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
32. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
33. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
34. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
35. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
36. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
37. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
38. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
39. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
40. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
41. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October)! Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's wax." Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt...therefore, the expression losing face."
Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced," wore a tightly tied lace.

Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead.
Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck."

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip."

At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term minding your "P's and Q's."

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but they choose Marriage, slow sure!

9. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

10. Drinking is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Now, whom to follow and which one to choose?

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means - it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!!