People often say, “boys will be boys,” or “boys don’t cry.” What do these phrases really mean? Are boys really pre-determined to be aggressive and emotionless? Co-authors of Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, would argue that this is not the case. As psychologists specializing in helping young males, Kindlon and Thompson bring to light the notion that boys are just as emotional as their female counterparts. They show how a boy without a good understanding of his emotions will likely face many difficulties in his upbringing. Reflecting on my own adolescence experiences, I feel like I am able to validate the claims of Kindlon and Thompson.
The main argument expressed in the passage is that “boys need an emotional vocabulary. They need to experience empathy at home and school…they need modeling of a rich emotional life.” (7) Without this, they argue that boys are destined to struggle throughout their childhood and adolescence. “They are forced to manage conflict, adversity, and change in his life with a limited emotional repertoire.” (4) I never realized it at the time, but looking back, I can tell that my parents always fostered the growth of my emotional vocabulary. If I had a problem at school, my parents encouraged me to talk to them about it. If I was in an argument with my brother, we were separated and asked to talk over how we felt. Never did my parents try to shy me away from showing and understanding my emotions. As a result, I never had any of the big issues growing up that the authors claim most emotionally illiterate boys might experience. I was never called into the principal’s office for bullying other kids, never gotten into a fist fight, never did I harass girls, and never did I feel overwhelmingly depressed or angry.
In retrospect, I can tell that a lot of my fellow friends and classmates did not have the emotional literacy that I