Rebecca Hower
Professor Hamilton
Narrative Essay Rough Draft
16 September 2013
Narrative Essay When I was seven years old, my parents decided to cut my hair short. I was very anxious. I hopped on the bus the next morning and kept my hood up. Then, someone pulled my hood down from behind. Everyone started hysterically laughing and pointing at me. “Are you a boy?” an older girl had asked from behind. “Do you like girls?” a younger boy inquired. The kids were so unpleasant. I continued to keep my head up high and keep smiling. Bullying is an event that still occurs after high school. When I was in sixth grade, I had a circle of three best friends. We would spend every day together, hanging out, having sleepovers, etc. The third marking period, I started having problems. I had accidentally said a “bad word.” These three girls started to laugh at me. “You said a bad word” the girls joked as they pinned me against the gym wall. One of the girls tattled and told my teacher, and continued to antagonize me more. “I am sick” I told my mom when I woke up every morning. Eventually, my parents figured out that I was not sick and called the school. “We need to figure this out” my parents screamed on the phone with my school. A few weeks later, not only was the school involved, but the cops were as well. Not only did they talk to me, but they talked to the group of girls. The girls all tried to deny that they were bullying me. “We didn’t do it” the girls cried. “We never did any of that” they continued to whine. As the cops called in witnesses from class, the girls received detention strictly from the principal. This was the least of my worries. In middle school, I was an outcast. I sat by myself at lunch. I had no friends. I found comfort in confiding to celebrities. I would look up to people that were on the television. I would send them messages on MySpace (the popular social networking site at the time) asking them to help me. I did not feel comfortable telling my parents that kids were making fun of me. “How was school? My mom would ask. “It was wonderful, everyone is so nice” I lied, when all I heard was “you are so ugly.” “Why do you look up to such unintelligent people” they asked. . They were the only role models in my life, the only people that I felt I could look up to. They were my “escape” from reality. I felt at home and relaxed while I was watching television. As time went on, I progressively moved out of the infatuation. When I was fourteen years old, and a freshman in high school, I went to my first concert. I finally found an escape in something real to me, music. I fell in love with my first band, the Jonas Brothers. Their music helped me through high school.. Their song, “I Am What I Am” was about being you and helped me find who I was. I became so obsessed and everything was plastered with pictures. My peers along with my teachers were making jokes. “Why do you like them so much” a girl asked me. “Their music is awful” a younger boy told me. People would send me comments on MySpace asking why I liked them. “You will never be good enough” a message read. I continuously received messages that read “you are ugly and worthless” too. As time progressed, embarrassment slowed. But I soon realized that I was not only being terrorized in person, but I was receiving tyrannizing messages over the internet. As mentioned before, I was receiving messages through MySpace on several different occasions. This is called cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is the use of social networking and electronic communication to send an individual intimidating and threatening messages. When I was in ninth grade, I created a Formspring. Formspring was a website where your peers could send you anonymous messages. Teens started sending me childish interrogations. “Why are your teeth so yellow?” a peer had asked. “Why is your face so ugly?” another peer wondered. The interrogations continued. “Why are you so fake and mean?” another person had questioned. Cyber bullying can be just as vigorous and effective as antagonizing someone in person. Thankfully, Formspring was shut down after I graduated high school. As most people, I thought bullying stopped after your high school years concluded. College proved this myth wrong.
My first semester at Millersville was in the spring of 2011. When I first met my roommate, Heather, she was very nice and sweet. About halfway through the semester, she started to act differently. Heather’s attitude changed. She was a completely different girl than I met at the beginning of the semester. She would come back almost every night drunk, throwing her stuff down on the ground and slamming doors. Heather was so disrespectful to me. As this happened, I started befriending the girls across the hall. My roommate got angry. “Why do you hang out with them?” she demanded. “You are too ugly for those girls” she stated. Thankfully, the girls across the hall from me let me stay the night a few times. Our resident advisor tried to help us resolve the problem, but nothing she said or did could help either of us. Having gone through this, I was scared out of college for two years, and I returned this past spring. My best friend of 14 years moved into Millersville as well. I was really excited since I did not know many people down here. Little did I know, this was one of the worst decisions I could have made. As I bonded with my roommate, my “best friend” was devastated. She did not want me hanging around with anyone else but her. “Where were you?” she would question. “Why did you not invite me?” she would inquire in passing. The interrogations were never ending. “Why do you hate me so much?” she would ask, “Why are you so close with her?” I felt worthless. Someone who I called my best friend made me feel inferior, and like I could not do anything. I could not even hang out with my sister without her getting upset. “Why did you not invite me again?” she would demand. I told her “Stop yelling at me.” “Well maybe if you invited me places, I would not be mad”, she would reply. She would put the blame on me and make me feel awful about myself. Having someone who plays victim makes every aspect of your life ten times harder to deal with. “It is always your fault” she would tell me. “Why do you never talk to me?” she would inquire every day. She continually made me feel worthless. Depression struck, and I needed to seek help. As treatment assisted me, this girl and I were disconnected. Though we may not be acquainted anymore, fourteen years of memories still remain. Luckily, I have friends down here that aided me through this tough time. My roommate, Danielle has experienced something similar to what I had been going through. She advised me on how to handle it, and related. “Keep your head up, and do not let her get to you” she would recite to me. My friend, Kaitlin, supported me as well. She gave me guidance, and comforted me. There would be nights where I came in her room sobbing, and she still comforted me and helped. My older sister was also a huge element in guiding me through the situation. Being able to relate, my sister would tell me “You are worth everything in the world. Do not let a selfish, childish adult bring you down.” Having people like these three girls makes it susceptible to deal with. All of these girls stayed by my side through everything. I am so thankful everyday for the people in my life. There are also a few organizations that contributed. There are so many organizations that I wrote to, to merge with. One organization I wrote was To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA). To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit organization to aid those who struggle with depression, self-harm, etc. I compiled a letter to the organization informing them of my reoccurring dispute. They composed a letter back advising me to notify students of how serious bullying is. As I strived to raise awareness of this occurrence, my peers would dismiss the idea. “This is stupid” a child told me. “Nobody cares, it is not that relevant” a younger girl told me. As I proposed my knowledge and experiences to different people, I made new acquaintances. I also learned about other organizations. Another organization, I confided in was Do Something. Do Something is also a non-profit organization to encourage the younger generation to make a change in their social environments through national campaigns. I contacted Do Something paraphrasing what I told TWLOHA. They reached out to me as well. “You are a beautiful human being. Tell others they are beautiful and worth the world if you see an individual being tormented.” After taking this into consideration, I attempted this. I saw a younger girl crying on the sidewalk at my local park. “What’s wrong?” I questioned. “Those boys over there threw me down and took my money” she responded, still in tears. I stepped over to the group of young men. “Why did you push her and take her money?” I interrogated. The boys answered “Because she’s ugly, and stupid.” I demonstrated to the boys what tantalizing someone like that can result in. They immediately complied “I’m so sorry” and preceded to hand me back the young woman’s money. I helped her to stand back up. I told her “You are beautiful, and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.” She hugged me, and cried a little more, and said “thank you.” The small girl always thanks me when she crashes into me somewhere, as does her mom. Knowing I helped someone, and raised awareness of an important subject, made going through all of the tyrannizing and antagonizing all worthwhile. Bullying today, whether it is over the internet or in person is not taken seriously. There are many groups of kids, teens, and even people in college that do not understand the consequences of their words. I was told I was “ugly, worthless, and stupid” repeatedly, and spiraled into a depression. I had a friend that made me feel in the wrong for making other acquaintances. At this point I removed myself from my group(s) of friends. Most people do even see the warning signs like this. I faked sick, but my parents did not think anything of it until it kept happening. Parents, teachers, and even some guidance counselors do not understand what a pressing issue this is. Being bullied from elementary school all the way into college, I wish people were more aware of this subject. In conclusion, bullying is an issue very close to my heart and I hope one day to lower the suicide rate and help more kids in need. I hope to one day run or work for an organization to help bring bullying to everyone’s attention. I want to guide those in need of help. If it were not for my friends voicing “You are beautiful” every day, I believe the obstacles I faced would have been more burdensome. I perceive bullying in a completely different way than before. If I feel sad, I feel certain that I can confide and depend on my friends and family, and tell them what is happening. I feel comfortable confessing the obstacles that I am facing in life, and seeking help. My parents were so incredible throughout the entire process and the teachers I confided in were such a helping hand to me. My choir teacher, Mr. Connelly, encouraged me and told me “Never give up.” He told me “remain the same, and continue to pursue your dream.” I heard these compliments from people who I care for and it made waking up in the morning worth it. Having a solid support system benefited me so much. I can never stop smiling, and helping people to this day. To finally have a solid self esteem, and know who I am, and where I am headed in life is a prodigious feeling.