CROSSROADS OF MORTALS is a character driven drama about past family secrets that have the ability to emotionally impact various people’s lives. It’s adapted from a novel.
The goal is both tangible and emotional. The goal is to unravel a family secret and the emotional goal is to reconcile the past and move on with the future. The story is driven by solid themes about secrets, healing, and second chances.
The eventual secret that is exposed is powerful. One can perceive how this plot could make for a compelling screenplay and potential film, but with that said more development is needed.
The main concern about the script is the structure. Because the script is based on a novel, the structure tends to be more effective for a novel, rather than …show more content…
Make sure the audience knows it’s Margot’s story. Opening with Edith makes this confusing. Make Margot more proactive. Focus on her goal to unravel the mystery and her growing feelings for Kurt. The closer she gets to the truth and thinking that maybe Kurt is her mother’s son, the more tension and anticipation will be generated as she struggles with moral choices. At the end, show how she grows. The reveal that Edith is really her stepmother is a bit jarring and comes late. It’s not clear how this reveal contributes to the plot.
Right now, the inner struggle actually focuses more on all the other supporting characters like Edith, Charlotte, and Kurt, rather than Margot. Consider that maybe the doctor is alive and she tracks him down. Create tension whenever possible. Keep the story focused on the present.
Kurt has room to be a more interesting character. As mentioned, his reaction to the truth seems excessive and it really dilutes the main storyline.
Both Edith and Charlotte are complicated women with personal secrets, but as stated, it’s not clear why Charlotte keeps a secret from Kurt. Give Edith more conflict about whether or not she wants to know about the truth.
Adam is Margot’s father, but he’s underused. Either expand his role or eliminate his