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California Clinics

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Submitted By dmilhouse0
Words 404
Pages 2
LaSondra Taylor
English 115
August 03, 2011
Hannah Weir

The pre-writing strategies I used when writing this essay was brainstorming and clustering. I find that clustering was more effective for me because it gives you more information to choose from when deciding on a topic. Brainstorming was satisfactory it got the job done. By using, the clustering strategy you make a cluster of all your thoughts and pick the one that you think would make your audience want to read more. If I had to do it over again I would not change anything, I would do everything the same. The purpose for writing this essay is to inform people “how life is as a Honeybaked Ham Sales Associate”. The audience for this essay is for jobseekers who are looking to become a Sales Associate and customer so they can be informed on what the person serving them go through on an everyday to serve them. The main point in my essay was about being a Honeybaked Ham Sales Associate and the responsibilities they have. After reading my essay, I want my audience to know the responsibilities and the steps to become a good sale associate. I want them to think about becoming a sales associate after reading my essay. They will learn the steps and process of being a sales associate and selling the product. When reviewing my peers essay I looked for the thesis statement and the main idea. I also looked for fragments and run-on sentences. After the peer review, I learned that everyone writes different and use different methods and words. After my peers read my essay, I learnt that I use “I” a lot in my sentences and I have many fragments in my essay. I think my essay could have been better and I could have had more information in it then I did. The way I revise my essay, I took my peers advice and changed some of my words and I corrected the fragments. The reason I made these revisions was that my peers and professor had critic me and I thought that changing the problems would better my essay. I think the correction were excellent. My revised draft is better than my rough draft because I had input on stuff that did not sound or look right and had a chance to change it before I did the final draft. I learned that

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