The feeling of sadness, loneliness, and isolation due to the fact you miss someone breaks your heart than you are hurting so much. However, what is the effect of missing a person? There are three specific effects and they are loneliness, depression and the feel of being freed from false belief.
The first effect is being alone when you feel that you are without that person. In spite of all the faults the person had, you know you miss them. They as a result, were like a best friend to you, and now they are gone you feel all alone. It is human nature to feel a great lost when a friend leaves you. When you have that friend, you feel safe, and comforted but when they leave you feel isolated from the world itself. In a way, they were your only means of companionship, and since you lost them, you conclude that you yourself are now in seclusion from the outside world; hence, this world is no longer a concern to you. As you are now alone, there is nothing to go back to in the world. This effect is initiated by the sensation of longing for them. You intensely miss them, and the cause of them being gone makes you feel abandoned because you are not with them. The loneliness effect is an expression that is felt through your heart, which is where your emotions lie; therefore, you know the significance of the person and what bond you have developed with them. My friend Dave, for example, broke up with his girlfriend afterwards; he felt tremendous agony when she left for Seneca in the fall because he still had feelings for her. As a result, to the break up he never really valued what he had with her until she left. He realized that he loved her and he felt as if he had lost a part of himself. He had a reflection on their relationship and realized that he broke up with her because she seemed too perfect and he was scared of commitment. He now felt abandoned because he was missed her and she was gone. This feeling if not subdued will lead to our next out come depression.
A secondary outcome is depression. It is a mix of longing with a dash of feeling isolated from the world and then magnified by about 70%, which is the equation for disaster. This is the point where most people have missed someone so much it starts to hurt and it slowly gnaws at their soul’s day by agonizing day slowly engulfing them into a grief stricken pain. This is what people would say as the feeling sad, cannot sleep and being unsettled because they yearn for that person. This in itself is how the mind could create an apocalypse for yourself based on how you project the feelings that are stirring inside you. For that reason, it becomes inevitable to put thought to fight it with your will or to kneel down and let it destroy you. For instance, when my grandmother died two years ago, I voluntarily shut down all morals; that is the first stage of my depression, as the effect of missing her. I became negative, sad, and very uneasy, thus I lashed out at the world without consequences. The depression itself became so over powering that it over took the genuine me and replaced it with a girl that was horrifying in her thoughts and dark within her soul. This was a nightmare, but I was depressed and this is how the course of action runs. I knew that this is because I missed her so much it caused me to become an unemotional wreck that’s only pleasure was to afflict pain in others in a way that corresponds to the sorrow I felt. My depression caused me chaos in my own life as I lived spontaneously to do what my will wanted to do without objection and clarification that in the real world there are consequences to every reaction. Afterwards when the depression has past you feel liberated from all the false belief that held you hostage to begin with, which is our last outcome.
The final outcome, feeling freed from false belief, is when you are liberated from all the elements of an illusion that haunt you. As in when you believe that your boyfriend/girlfriend who broke up with you will get back together with you, when your parents whom are getting a divorce will get back together, and when a family member dies, you believe they are still alive. This false belief is because you miss the person a lot and wish that you could change what already happened like a death or their mind in case of a significant other that leaves you. When you finally grip reality that these false beliefs are never going to turn true you are released from the illusions and move on with your life you have to face your demons to be freed. For example, when my grandmother died two years ago my false belief was that she was still alive not dead. I saw her on the street, I saw her in my dreams, and when I was talking to someone, I thought that I was talking to her instead of that person. I realized by the end of the ordeal that I had not come to terms with her death and that my hallucinations was due to the fact I missed her that it was painful to accept the reality that she was dead. Even when I dreamed she was their I believed that it was not a dream that it was actually happening that she was having coffee with me or playing cards with me. The only way I freed myself from the false confliction of reality was the facts that lay before me like pictures of the funeral, her gravestone, and her empty bed in my grandparents’ room, as well as, going to a counsellor to confront this reality. My counsellor, Arwa said that I never spoke of my feelings or accepted the reality, so I gave myself an alternate reality to counteract the pain after my depression. After about twenty sessions, I learned to deal with it and my illusions melted away as I accepted the facts slowly on a day-to-day basis. Then I began to live again with the thought that as long as I have the memories we shared she will still be in my heart even if she is not physically with us. With that being said, I took the lessons I learned I would help a friend with a similar situation so they do not feel alone and started living with joy as I know that my grandmother is watching in spirit and protecting me.
Thus, the effects of missing someone are loneliness, depression, and being freed from false belief, we can all be comforted that we all have experienced this in one form or another. I believe that as long as is someone helping then you can get through it then with your wisdom from that you can help someone else. This in the end makes the world a better place because of that help they know to pass it along and makes other’s understand they are not alone that their would be people who care and understand them.