My Experience with Celebrate Recovery
By
Leonardo Martinez

After considering all of the recovery support program options to choose from I attended a Celebrate Recovery (or CR as they call it) meeting in Concord. The first thing that I noticed was that, while they are scattered throughout Northern California, the meetings were usually on a single day of the week in one city location – that is Concord only had Thursday nights, and Castro Valley only Wednesday nights, etc. The meetings are also unbelievably long, three hours in some cases. Being that I had already attended Life Ring and a slew of other 12 step options I was expecting the same format in CR and was trying to figure out what could possibly take two to three hours to complete and keep all while keeping an addict’s attention. Needless to say my curiosity was sparked.
Due to my busy schedule I was about 20 minutes late to the meeting but I was greeted with an unforced greeting in a whispered tone, as there was a man on a microphone speaking. “Joe is up, take a seat,” a gray-haired gentleman gurgled in a whisper. I told him that I was a newcomer and he assured me that I would be briefed on the routine as soon as “Joe” was done doing whatever he was doing. Upon taking my seat – decorated with a colorful pamphlet displaying the crucifixes on Calvary – a man on the verge of tears discussed “The Top 7 Reasons Why We Get Stuck in Recovery.” The two widescreen projection screens illuminated the reasons one by one and Joe (with the magic marker written designation upon his chest) quoted scripture and shared his personal stories as to how they relate to the topic. An occasional “Amen” or “yes indeed” resonated from unknown sources but the peaceful faces seated in stadium seating all bit their lower lips while exhibiting accepting head nods in unison. All the while I was more concerned about my anticipated briefing as I had a feeling of not belonging and dreaded the speaker calling on me to speak since I was oblivious to the format.
Joe stopped speaking and a standing ovation followed. I must say that Joe had much to say that I related to but I didn’t yet know if he was the equivalent to an AA meeting chairperson or the CR pastor. Thankfully a man stepped up and welcomed us all identified himself as a “person that struggles with sex and porn addiction” and asked us to thank Joe once again. He then directed us to the newcomer table where I was joined by one more man and then greeted by a man and a woman that asked me, “Why are you here?”
What a question. I didn’t know how to answer and I asked him what he meant. He asked what I struggled with and I said with cocaine addiction even though at the moment I was just struggling with what the next two hours could possible hold. He then informed me that the men and women are split up and that there are various groups: sex addiction, gambling addiction, drug and alcohol addiction, codependency, etc. He then pointed me to “Robert” who greeted me with an exuberant “Leo!” Turns out that I knew the guy.
We gathered in another room about 15 steps away and commenced to recite the long version of the serenity prayer. I was stuck after the word “difference.” Who knew that there were two other verses? We then were read a set of guidelines and this is where I began to feel uncomfortable: 1. Each speaker is to have 2 minutes each when responding to a group question. 2. On the second round speakers are to have an additional 2 minutes to express how their week went. 3. There is no use of profanity with a special emphasis on avoiding the use of the Lord’s name in vain. 4. If at anytime any group member feels uncomfortable with a speakers share he is to simply raise his hand to notify that individual to immediately cease the uncomfortable subject at which point they will be warned and then if the conversations continues to offend “the offender” will be asked to leave the group!
Wow. I was completely floored by the restrictions but I kept quiet. We commenced the shares where everyone identified themselves by their first name, what they struggled with, where they were at, and that they were “believers.” It took one hour to complete both rounds and then we ended with a prayer and were invited to join them all in the room we started out at for refreshments. I was handed a blue “newcomer” chip and was encouraged to come back next week. The major differences that I noticed between what I attend, AA and NA, are the extreme Jesus Christ based approached, the use of 12 steps and 8 principles, the punitive nature of breaking their “rules,” and the melting pot environment for all addictions. Even though my higher power is Jesus Christ I can attest that the environment made me uncomfortable. It helped me understand why religion can turn off some people – it was very intimidating. The 12 steps were rewritten to replace the words “Higher Power” with “Jesus Christ” and the 8 principles were completely foreign to me and were followed by Bible scriptures that they were based on. While my experience was obviously skeptical and critical of CR’s methods I could tell that there were many that di benefit from the format. Personally I will not continue to attend, but it was a great experience for insight into another approach in hope of recovery from addiction.