English assignment – Part A
Child raising principles
1.
In the first text an 18-year-old girl called Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld comments on the way her mother raised her as a child. The mother has talked about her methods, when it comes to upbringing of children, in an essay. She states that her daughter only was allowed to do what she demanded. Sophia seems to be quite grateful for the way she was brought up: “I think your strict parenting forced me to be more independent.” (text 1, ll. 30-31). She was taught having an independent state of mind and of that she’s especially happy for her mother.

In contrast to Sophia’s upbringing, text 2 and 3 represent a completely opposite view on how children should be raised. In text 2 Kate Loveys writes about Dr. Bryan Caplan’s opinion on raising children, as he’s parenting guru. They give a view on how parents should be more relaxed about raising their children and how not to be control freaks, which doesn’t do your child any good: “Quit fretting over how much TV your kids watch. Don’t force them to do a million activities they hate” (text 2 ll. 17-19). According to Dr. Caplan, allowing kids to do what they want is nature and only relieves the parents. He believes parents should cut some slack, which is for the better both for the parents but also the child.

In text 3 A.S. Neill states that children should have no leash in terms of what the child finds interesting. Neill uses a famous Russian ballet dancer Nijinsky as an example. Even though Nijinsky was restricted getting further in the art by exams he could not pass, he kept on fighting for what he wanted, because that was his desire, and that lead to him being one of the best in the art of ballet. Neill simply thinks that the child’s own desire always should be available to pursue: “I am not decrying learning. But learning should come after play” (text 3 ll. 6-7).

2.
The use of Nijinsky the famous ballet dancer engages the reader, in the way that an example has been set. Using Nijinsky by way of example opens up one’s eyes that there are odd characters out there that wouldn’t be doing near as well today, as what pursuing their dreams has let them do. By saying: “What a loss to the world if Nijinsky had really to pass those exams!” (text 3 l. 1), he emphasises his statement that learning should come after play. Here Neill uses pathos in a way that makes one think of the miracle Nijinsky being indispensable, and therefore a child’s passion should always try to be passively forced as being a possibility of what he or she wants to pursue. Neill makes you feel sympathy for the lost talents: “I have seen a girl weep nightly over her geometry. Her mother wanted her to go to university, but the girl’s whole soul was artistic” (text 3 ll. 11-12). Making you realize talents are completely wasted and at the same time in the saddest state of mind because they can’t focus on what they really want to do, makes one think that it would be horrendous restricting your child from making dreams come true. In this way Neill catches the reader and makes the parents have the choice between good and evil, and who wouldn’t wish only the best for their own child?

3.
I particularly agree with Neill’s belief. What if you had a child who became the very best at his favourite activity? What many parents tend to think of, is wanting a child with a bright future, and that’s probably why Sophia’s mom was so strict with her. But nowadays you can become successful at literally everything and still make a living. But as a parent you also have to be aware of how good your child is at something before steering them into another direction. A great example is a gamer. Gamers have reached a whole new level of being successful while living their dream to the fullest. Almost any boy would crave to be a gamer making a better living than even an above average doctor does. But it’s here you have to be the wisely selective parent, and this is the hard part. You could end up with a grown up boy sitting in front of the computer screen hours upon hours only making money enough to buy his favourite fizzy pop, as he hasn’t made his breakthrough quite yet. This is where learning becomes necessity. With the right knowledge a teen would realize there’s no way he would become profitable in his favourite activity. Here it’s the parents’ responsibility to implement common knowledge and a sturdy education as an essential obligation. Your child must always have an education as a backup. But this is the toughest part since one cannot be the best at to things at once. That’s where you, as a parent, must have some insight in your child’s favourite activities, as you must be there to lead depending on your child’s potential.

Behaviour of the child is certainly also one of the most important aspects of upbringing, and on this point Sophia’s mom’s making great sense. You can sense that Sophia has a lot of respect for her mother and respect is a must when you enter the real world. If you’re not able to show any deference, encountering real life could very well end badly. But you always have to look at how your child copes with your way of upbringing. Sophia could as likely have become a rebel. As well could a child of Neill become a rebel. The fact is that there’s no evident script for raising a child, you have to look at how one adapts. My belief is alike Dr. Caplan’s: “Accept that your children’s lives are shaped mostly by their genes and their own choices…” (text 2 ll. 18-19). I believe children should be raised with variance of all the above-mentioned approaches. It’s extremely hard to be squared about raising children and sticking to solely one way. Not a single child is similar to another, and that’s why a parent should always differ and meet their child’s need.