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Commentary for Travel Piece

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Submitted By shay30
Words 754
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Commentary: travel piece

‘Scuba diving in Egypt’ is a travel piece for the Guardian Newspaper in the Saturday magazines travel section. As this pieces genre is a travel piece it is it is made to promote and evaluate features of the place and also to try the sport out and also to show the attractions. The primary purpose for this piece is to inform and a secondary purpose to persuade. This piece applies to people who enjoy reading travel pieces and is interested in specialist and are interested on holidays on a budget. It would also be published on the Guardian website so that it had a wider audience.

The discourse structure is tight and fast paced and is similar to a speech. Maintaining this pace and flow is a key feature for my piece, as it needs to keep consistence and it needs to grab the readers attention especially browse readers as they just scan through. I used the same pattern as my style model of alternative short and long paragraphs to create a more dramatic effect. There is also in my piece an unfolding sense of journey to make the audience want to carry on reader. Like my style model my piece is in first person to engage the reading. I have also included the use of dialogue like ‘“Nitrox tanks are free but any other type you have to pay for”’ to enrich take the reader there and to make them feel included in my piece.

I used elisions in my piece like ‘ wasn’t’, ‘hadn’t’ and ‘can’t’. I used elisions to make my piece sound more spoken and informal to grab a wider range of audience. There is also a range of short and long sentences like in my style model to give this piece a more dramatic effect. I also used them to entertain browse readers. I used exclamation marks to vary the sentence style and to make it sound more spoken like ‘Yes!’.

In terms of graphology I had included several images of scuba diving in Egypt like my style model. I included these images to show what the piece is about but also to capture the attention of browse readers. It is important to have graphology to grab browse readers, as they are usually the ones looking and the pieces. It also increases the readership between the reader and the writer as it makes it feel like they are both there and that they are sharing the journey like the photo of the scuba diver which both reader and writer will know what it is of and where it was taken. I also included visual images so that the audience had a sense of image of what the place looks like. There is a travel box, I put this in a box to help with the purpose to inform and persuade as it is informing the reader about the equipment needed for the sport, courses that they can take and the flights and hotels that they can go to. It is also persuading them to go onto this holiday as it has prices and websites they can visit.

I included several grammatical features including the use of material verbs such as ‘jump’, ‘descended’, ‘ looking’ etc. Fitting with my genre, the majority of my piece uses material verbs as a device to create acting but also for stylistic economy as travel pieces has a word count limit and to create a sense of drama. I also used adjectives for atmosphere and a few mental verbs to create mood for reader to empathise with. There is also a use of sematic fields like the semantic field of scuba diving in my piece like the semantic field of scuba diving. This sematic field is here to engage the readers that are interested in the sport and so that they can refer to it and it adds authenticity as it presumes knowledge but are accessible for browse readers. There is also factual information that the readers can access.

Index

Piece 1: album review on Ghost Town

Commentary for piece 1

Style model: Avril Lavigne album review

Style model analysis 1

Piece 2: travel piece on scuba diving in Egypt

Commentary 2

Style model: split boarding in Chamonix

Style model analysis

Bibliography

Bibliography

http://www.simplyscuba.com/

http://www.sunmaster.co.uk/,

http://www.elite-diving.com/padi_courses.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scuba_set

http://www.officialghosttown.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_Town_(band)

http://www.last.fm/music/Ghost+Town

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