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Commonplace Book Xii-Man Child

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Submitted By brown83
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Hana Davis
PHIL 1010
4/26/2012
Commonplace Book XII-Man Child
For parents, regardless of sexual identity and preference raising children has its obstacles. There are many situations/circumstances parents have to deal with regarding raising children. In the essay Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist Response, Audre Lorde gives her point of view regarding raising her children-specifically her young male son Jonathan. This essay reveals that despite the obstacles of raising children, regardless of what type of relationship couples are in, most parents want to raise children who possess the balance of being caring, independent and strong.
Our daughters have us, for measure or rebellion, or outline or dream; but the sons of lesbians have to make their own definitions of self as men. Heterosexual couples aren’t the only couples who worry about the development of their children. In the essay Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist Response, Audre Lorde, a black writer, lesbian, and feminist describes the obstacles of raising her two children. She specifically explores the obstacles of raising her fourteen year old son Jonathan. Lorde realizes that because she is a woman and in a lesbian relationship, her daughter has a guide/outline of how to be a woman but her son will have to define who he is as a man. She also realizes that in being a lesbian she can teach her son survival instincts and acceptance, but she cannot layout what he needs to be a man.
Women are taught at a young age to be sensitive, gentle, yet strong. Men are taught at a young age to be tough and fearless. They are also taught to not show emotions and be the provider and protector. Lorde gives an instance of when her child was being bullied. Lorde’s first reaction was to scold her son and tell him to toughen up. Instead of scolding him, she tried a different approach. She told her son of a time when she was afraid and she also let him know it was ok as a young man to be afraid and scared. In rearing children, especially young males, there needs to be a balance. Strength and sensitivity come hand in hand. Despite how most young men are raised, they do need to be nurtured, and taught sensitivity.
Everybody has fears and feelings. Young men need to have a balance. Repression of sensitive feelings in young men can lead to anger and abuse. Having a balance of sensitivity and strength is helpful for young men and women regarding handling relationships, dealing with peers, and the obstacles of everyday life. Having a balance of emotions is also helpful for communication and understanding.
In conclusion, there are obstacles in raising children. Most parents regardless of how they identify themselves sexually want to raise strong, caring, and independent children. Young men need to be nurtured more. They also need to be told it is ok to cry and have fears. Every child should be able to express their feelings.

Work Cited
Lorde, Audre. Essays and Speeches By Audre Lorde: Sister Outsider. (Foreword by Cheryl Clarke).
Crossing Press: Berkeley, CA. 2007. Man Child: A Black Lesbian Feminist’s Response, pg. 73, 75, 76.

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