...Marital Communication One of the major problems that affect couples is communication. According to Lifestyle website 65% of the marriage split ups is because of a lack of communication. I chose this topic to show the importance of communication in a marriage. Communication can does a lot of good to a marriage. It minimizes confusion, it enhances marital Next, couples cope with these conflicts in many different ways. One may finally give over to the other person. They can compromise, witch is the best method. They may agree to disagree or just stop talking about the issue. Denying conflict can ruin a relationship. Some Couples yell, humiliate, embarrass, and demoralize each other. These are not affective ways of fighting. There are ways to improve your communication skills. When your partner is upset don’t be defensive. A lot of the time its not a right wrong situation. It’s a different perspective that your partner is coming from. Being caring and supportive increases the desire to talk. An important thing is to be honest with each other. Lying will make the conflict worse. Listening is probably the most important thing you can do. Lastly, there are rules for fighting fair. You should never attack your partner. It will only make them defensive. No one likes to be backed into a corner. Like I wrote before, be honest. Do not belittle or threaten your partner. Its better to focus on the problem not the person. Avoid fighting dirty, its not fair to your partner...
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...Communication in Marriages Having good communication in a marriage is the key to a happy marriage. According to Sole (2011), “Many people believe that communication skills are easy and should come naturally.” Knowing your spouse and what he/she needs and wants is important, but trying to assume what your partner wants or needs based off of what you think you know about them is not fair to them. Actually sitting down and talking to them makes them feel like you care and still love them the same. My experience on self disclosure has been difficult in my relationship. I’m the type of person who has up a guard 90% of the time when it comes down to opening up to people. From my past experience, of opening up to people has made it that much harder for me to have self disclosure with my fiancé. I trust my fiancé, but me telling him everything is hard for me. That’s one of the issues we’ve been working on and I’m starting to open up a little but it’s not enough for him. According to Schoenberg (2011), “Affective Affirmation is behavior that makes your partner feel loved, cared for or special plays a role in happy marriages.” Self disclosure is important in a relationship because I believe it makes the other person feels like they can be friends as well as your partner. That makes them feel like they are really doing something right and it makes the other person feel loved. I believe gender difference have something to do with it. I’m a female so a lot of the times...
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...Juan C. Cruz English 101 Mrs. Covin 9 November 2010 Adolescent Psychology Developmental psychologists have become increasingly interested in the transformations in family relations that occur in early adolescence. The available evidence suggests that parent and child relations undergo a variety of changes as family members adjust to the biological and psychosocial changes through their early stages in their young lives. Adolescence is the intermediary stage of growth between childhood and adulthood. It represents the period of time during which a person is subjected to an array of natural transformations and runs into a number of emotional tribulations. The ages, which are termed to be part of adolescence, vary by ethnicity and extend from the preteens to nineteen years. “Many of these changes are the normal, scheduled, and inevitable life-transition of adolescence, whereas others are unplanned and experienced by a minority of individuals” (Gunner 123). Adolescence is often divided by psychologist into three distinct phases: early, mid, and late adolescence. In the article Inside Your Teen’s Head, Parade.Com state; “Truth is, the teenage brain is like a Ferrari: it is sleek, shiny, sexy, fast, and it corners really well. But it also has really crappy breaks.” The most difficult phase of life is early adolescence. It is a phase when a child is not yet mature but he is no longer a kid. “Early adolescence is a time of many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes...
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...eachMany people in troubled marriages say “We just don’t communicate anymore.” This means they don’t communicate effectively. The truth is that people communicate all the time. Even two people giving each other the silent treatment communicate with each other. A good marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires and beliefs. In fact, communication is one of the most important aspect of a satisfying marriage. Blaine Fowers, a professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Miami stated that “Communication skills is one of the most common approaches used to improve couples relationships” (327). According to family Life, communication is “essential to the life of a marriage.” Couples who are aware of their communication styles and responses to conflict confront disagreements more productively. Women most often pursue an argument, men usually retreat. Some couples avoid conflict altogether, until the silence drives a wedge into their intimacy. Communication ends marital conflict. Every couple, no matter how well they communicate in a relationship, has times where they disagree. At the same time, this doesn’t have to turn into a fight. Clifford Notarius, a psychologist maintains that the key to a good marriage “isn’t knowing how to avoid an argument but knowing how to get out of one after it has started.” Understanding why communication is important is the first step to improving communication in a relationship. Jonathan Pettigrew, communication researcher reported “couples...
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...Divorce Marriage symbolizes a unity between two people. Some marriages last and some result in divorce. For instance, a newlywed couple could start off exceedingly romantic. As the marriage progresses, more problems and issues arise that are left unsolved. Feelings could build up over time and every little action he or she does could increasingly annoy the other spouse. Conflicts are not resolved properly and as time passes, the couple may start to have more and more disagreements about unimportant subjects. There are three main causes of divorce: lack of communication, early marriages with unexpected pregnancies and drastic career changes, which are listed below. First of all, lack of communication is the main cause of divorce. Communication is the revealing of thoughts or ideas and is an important aspect of all relationships. If effective communication is not present in a marriage, then the relationship will suffer and slowly weaken. To have an effective communication with one's spouse, one should try to be as open as possible by revealing all emotions and feelings. A result of a failed marriage could be divorce. Divorce is common because there is a lack of effective communication. On the other hand, one might believe that a lack of communication is not the reason why divorce is common. The lack of communication in a relationship cannot be the single reason why marriages fail. All couples are not the same. It could be possible that they have good communication, but they...
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...Letter of Advice Vincent Johnson COM200: Interpersonal Communication Instructor: Donna Mills March 18, 2013 Introduction/Thesis: Dear Vincent & Deliliah, Marriage is such a wonderful thing, actually marriage is a God thing, and in order for a marriage to survive you must seek God. I was told you both heard about me taking an Interpersonal Communication course and requested my advice on how what I’ve learned could apply to your new marriage. God is the foundation that any marriage should be built upon but the next most important thing is communication. Without communication a marriage is most certainly headed for disaster. Communication is a key tool that must be worked at and a daily practice in your marriage (James 2:17 – Even so Faith if it hath not works is dead). If you both want a happy, long-lasting marriage then you must continuously work on your communication. I am very excited and enthused that you inquired me to give you some advice. I will do my best to pass along all the necessary tools I have retained from my interpersonal communication course, to better equip you for marriage. I am very positive that everything I have to share you both will find very enlightening towards your marriage. In my class the name of our text book is Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (Sole, 2011), where in this book we learned that there are six basic principles to communicating. Just for fun I...
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...That's nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year. From the beginning of time people all across the world have been determined to find something called love, to begin a family of their own and enter into a sacred and wild adventure called marriage. Living together and depending on one another for mutual love, support and essential necessities is no easy task. For some the responsibilities of marriage become overwhelming or the problems within a marriage become so serious they cannot be solved, and couples all across the nation are choosing to end their marriage in a divorce. It is sad to say but although most people take their whole lives to decide to enter into marriage, most only take a few moments to consider ending one. Divorce rates continue to rise and rise in modern times and it could easily be said that divorce is the instant gratification married couples are turning to in order to cope in today’s society. There are many factors that go into the decision of ending one’s marriage but some factors that are changing the marriage game today are woman’s growing roles in society as self efficient individuals, economic and financial problems and a lack of communication or proper problem solving efforts and the effects of divorce and even more damaging than the divorce itself. With the edition of the nineteenth amendment to constitution giving women the right to vote in America, it began the journey for women across the nation to transform...
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...paper is to inform the reader of the challenges that face marriages in today’s society. It researches the issue of cohabitation before marriage and how people view it whether it is harmful to the marriage or how it can help the marriage be more successful. Another issue that is reviewed is the issue of infidelity. It discusses the problems that arise from infidelity and touches on the reconciliation process that couples have to go through if they have a desire to stay in their marriage. Communication and forgiveness within the marriage is also discussed. Challenging Issues that Face Marriages Today Introduction In the world today, there are a lot of marriages going through some trying times. Parents have put their children first instead of their spouse which have created a barrier between the couple. Some families are dealing with extra effort children that require more time with them and put their spouse on the back burner. Financial burdens have been over whelming for some marriages causing stress, anger and even resentment. The issues that this research paper is going to explore are the challenges of cohabitation, infidelity, communication, and forgiveness. These issues seem to be an important part of marriages that are continually brought forth in many therapy, counseling, and laypersons offices. Premarital Cohabitation Couples will move in together before marriage for many reasons. These reasons include financial situations...
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...Interpersonal Communication Instructor: Jessica Guire 05-05-13 In relationships there are different way and views to go about having healthy. I will give you some good views and some ways that aren’t suitable in a relationship. In this letter you will find some good advice and how to self-disclose information to your spouse, without making yourself feeling vulnerable but attentive to each other in a relationship; with the intent you need to have a successful and uplifting experience. First things first, let me say congratulations on your marriage; I’m happy for the both of you and wish the best of luck to you in and the future you both will have together as husband and wife. There are some important things to making a marriage such successful, for one, working together a unity in the marriage. Be willing to compromise in your marriage for each other. However, one of the most important things in a successful marriage is be willing to communication. Although this can bring a wedge for people do to the fact that some individual’s in a marriage or relationship feel that they cause arguments, and making yourself vulnerable to the other person. It’s very important to communicate with each other honestly about everything that is important to you, rather than suppressing your issues. The daily routine should address your feelings and thoughts that may be on your mind. Making sure you get to know the other in all aspects and maintain this throughout your marriage. Continue on...
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...would choose such a negative ending to their once happy marriage. In some cases, many couples have to question their own motives for divorce. Although there are many alternate roots to fixing the simplest problems that may occur in a marriage, for some, simple does not always mean easy. It is certain that the cause of divorce varies from couple to couple, yet lack of communication, money and children, is among the most common causes of divorce. Lack of communication in a marital relationship, is one of the most common causes of divorce, because when two people lack communication, they are unable to solve problems that may occur in the marriage. Many married couples think that the minor problems that occur in their marriage, are insignificant, and are not worth talking about; however, they fail to realize that even the smallest things can cause conflict between the two when they are not able to solve them through communication. Many couples lack communication when it comes to making decisions about shared finances. This can cause financial issues to arise, and arguments to escalade in the marriage. Many couples also lack communication when it comes to making decisions for their children. When one spouse does not agree with a decision made by the other spouse, then an argument can occur, and result by one or both parties sharing a feeling of resentment against the other. Lack of communication in all areas of the marriage, can cause strain on the relationship. It is common...
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...WHAT CAN YOU AS A PARA-COUNSELOR DO TO STEM THE ISSUES IN NIGERIAN MARRIAGES BY AWUA STEPHEN INTRODUCTION The institution of marriage remains a cherished jewel of society. This is because from it, the family unit springs forth; as there is no denial that the family is nucleus of society. In Nigeria today, many marriages are going through a plethora of problems, very many of which are threatening the unity, love and life of marriage. These problems range from poor/lack of communication, substance abuse (addiction), sex-related complexities, etc. Given these unfortunate state of affairs in Nigerian marriages, the question what counselors would do to arrest the situation becomes crucially relevant. This is the take-off point of this write up. MEANING OF MARRIAGE Marriage is a social union or legal contract between people called spouses that create kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union is often formalized via a wedding ceremony. In terms of legal recognition, most sovereign states and other jurisdictions limit marriage to two persons of opposite sex or gender in the gender binary, and some of these allow polygynous marriage. Since 2000, several countries and some other jurisdictions have legalized same-sex marriage. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity...
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...Differences in Communication Between Genders Roscoe Purdue University Abstract The differences in correspondence styles among men and women have been a subject of interest for research for quite a while. These differences may provoke miscommunication, battle, and even frustration between couples. This study looks at the communication styles among men and women, more especially between married couples. It questions how the different genders express their thoughts and feelings that may lead to conflicts. The study will be driven utilizing an in-depth analysis of what causes miscommunication that leads to conflicts. Qualitative research is the method that will be used to gain an in-depth look at why the genders have some of their communication problems. The goal is to increase the amount of awareness regarding communication styles and how it relates better marital communication to aid in the prevention of miscommunication and the decrease a lot of conflicts because of it. Today, divorce has become a very common part of life, and it is likely that ineffective communication plays a crucial role in the failure of many marriages. Communication may lead to the success of a marriage or to its detriment, depending on its level of effectiveness. This effectiveness of communication is likely connected to the overall satisfaction of married couples and is worthy to be studied in order to increase marital satisfaction. Learning more about the differences in communication styles between...
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...Communication, respect and forgiveness three key factors for a unbreakable bond. If you have these three factors down, your marriage should be very successful. Each of these factors play a big role in the marriage, without one of these, your marriage will fail. If you communicate but don’t respect or forgive, then there’s just a friendship, not a commitment. . If you respect but don’t communicate or forgive then your partner might feel dominate then you and expect you to respect him/her. Over time, you will feel like you’re not getting treated as an equal in the marriage. Lastly, if you forgive but don’t communicate or respect, there’s no point having a relationship because your partner knows you’ll forgive no matter what they do and no boundaries will be set because of the lack of communication. Communication is key for a successful marriage because if you don’t talk to each other and say what is on your mind then how will your partner know what to fix about them to make the marriage stronger. You can trust your partner and forgive them, but if you don’t communicate or talk about the issues that are going on, your marriage will continue with the same issues. Don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind; unexpressed frustrations in a marriage can pile up and weigh you down like an overloaded gunnysack. These accumulated frustrations can quickly turn into resentments. “Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,” said Sally, married 50 years...
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...Communication is said to be the basis of every interpersonal relationship. In fact effective communication is the key to a healthy and long lasting relationship. If individuals do not communicate with each other effectively, problems are bound to come. Communication plays a pivotal role in reducing misunderstandings and eventually strengthens the bond among individuals. A relationship loses its charm if individuals do not express and reciprocate their feelings through various modes of communication. A healthy interaction is essential for a healthy relationship. It is no always an individual need to talk to express his or her feelings. Feelings can be expressed through nonverbal modes of communication as well. Your body movements, gestures, facial expressions, hand movements communicate something or the other. Make sure you do not make faces at anyone. You should look happy and contented for the other person to enjoy your presence. Do not always look sad and irritated. Eye movements also have an important role to play in relationships. One can make out whether you are angry, unhappy or frustrated through your eyes only. Dear Shirley and Larry, my advice to you for a successful relationship is effective speaking using verbal communication skills. Effective verbal or spoken communication is dependent on a number of factors and cannot be fully isolated from other important interpersonal skills such as non-verbal communication, listening skills and clarification....
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...GENDER ROLES AND COMMUNICATION When two people join their lives together in the unity of marriage how are they to decide what roles each will take within the marriage? The role within a marriage changes not only from year to year but also between each couples own relationship. Cultural believes can also affect the role each partner will take within a marriage. What was acceptable behavior several years ago would not be considered the social norm today. The role the husband or wife plays in a marriage is one that is either subservient or dominant. Within these roles the communication within the marriage often is a key element to defining the role each partner plays. What works for one marriage may not work for another. There are also many stereotypes between genders on what should and should not be accepted. In the story “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”, (Clugston, 2010) we see very different roles between Mitty and his wife then that in “I’m Going”. (Clugston, 2010) One story takes the stance that the husband is more silent and subservient to his wife, pleasing her and keeping his thoughts to himself for the most part. Whereas in “I’m going” (Clugston, 2010) the husband plays a more dominant role and controls his marriage. Regardless of the role and stance taken on the representation of gender roles in marriage it is more important that the marriage have a strong foundation and good communication skills. Communication is defined as “any process in which people...
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