Schrita Scott 1

Schrita Scott Communication in Relationships Comm200: Interpersonal Communication Ashford University October 28, 2013

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Effective communication is the key to a healthy, and happier marriage. Most couples must communicate every day for at least a minimum of twenty minutes in order to learn something about the other that they may not have known about. Communication within a relationship is known to last longer, have stronger bonds, as well as remain happier then couples whom do not effective communicate on a daily basis for at least ten to twenty minutes a day.

After reading the article “Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages. As a married women myself I would agree with what the article is talking about. The author of the article talks about that for happiness to remain in a relationship then both parties must engage in at least 10 minutes of communication (Schoenberg, 2011).

Married couples should discuss things that are going them to allow to learn more about one another better such as what are your most fears? What goals do you want to accomplish in the next five years? What is your favorite basketball player? Most couples assume that they are communicating every day when in fact they are not actually communicating at all. Most couples assume that when they are discussing whom should do the housework, yard work, or drop and pick the kids up from school then they are communicating effectively when in truth they are not. While that is a means of communicate, it is not effective or efficient communication amongst one another.

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Reflecting upon the article that thing that stuck out to me most was when the text stated that there should be at least ten minutes communication amongst spouses. I can relate to this because you can learn quite a lot about your spouse that you did not know already. Most people assume in order to get to know or even learn something that they did not know about an individual then they must engage in a lengthy conversation which is furthest from the truth. Two people can have an hour long conversation and do not know anything new or different about the individual then when the conversation first started.

As an example my husband and I can have quite a long conversation that was rather meaningless and learned nothing that we did not even know, the conversation may have even been boring because we already know what we know of each other. However, we can have a very short conversation maybe ten to twenty-five minutes and learned quite a lot such as my husband my tell me he learned how to fix a part on a car, or I may tell my husband that I learned to make a new dish. When attempting to learn something new about the individual it also depends on the types of questions that are being asked.

Self- Disclosure is defined as two individuals sharing personal information such as goals, fears, feelings, and dreams (Sole, 2011). By sharing your thoughts with your spouse you are opening up a new door in which trust is build, happiness is create, as well as stronger bonds.

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When individuals share personal information as the examples in a relationship such as the above I named in this text I think it makes the relationship last longer as well be a little more special as many people whether married or not tend not to give up “personal information” they may not want their spouse to even know about some particular details of their goals or their true feelings. In order to share such information unless they number one trust the person, and two are comfortable with that individual and find that person trust worthy.

Furthermore, when it comes to communication gender differences, it is when a man and women differs. There are many differences as well as similarities when it comes to gender differences however there are many myths as to how women and men differ as well as how they are alike in many ways. A similarity I have experiences in my life is self-disclosure. While me and my husband have been together for quite some time, we still do not know everything that there is to know about one another. We are still learning, we sat down and learned about our aspirations, goals, things we fear, feelings that we process but have too much pride to show them and even tell one another. We really learned a lot and it has brought us a little closer then we were before.

Gender generalizations means that women and men have certain roles that are meant just for either man or women. Gender generalizations is a stereotype of women and men. It is no secret that there are people whom assume that a women cannot do a man’s job and a man
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Cannot do a women’s job. Yet, that is furthest from the truth. When taking all of this into consideration, I do not fit into gender generalizations as I can perform any duties that is put forth in front of me. It is said that working on cars is a man’s job. However, I can change my oil, change brakes, and body work etc. I also have a little experience doing construction which is considered a job for a man. People claim that housework, chores, taking care of children, and cooking is considered a job for a women , but you actually have more men completely this duties as there are more women whom is in the work force as well as women being employed more than men. In my opinion, there is no such thing as duties and jobs being strictly for men and women in today’s society.

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References

1. Schoenberg, Nara. Can we talk? Researcher talks about the communication in happy marriages. McClatchy - Tribune News Service [Washington] 17 Jan 2011 Retrieved October 29, 2013 from Ashford University Library. http://search.proquest.com.proxy-library.ashford.edu/docview/840600645?accountid=32521

2. Sole, K. (2011). Making Connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, CA. Bridgeport Education, INC. Retrieved October 29, 2013. Ashford University