Dark Hope

Depression… Everything always starts out okay. Unfortunately it doesn’t always stay that way. In the beginning you start to feel dark and cold, as if you’re being followed by an oppressive, grey cloud. You shrug it off as if it’s just another rainy day, nothing you can’t handle. It soon casts a shadow across your world for almost as far as you can see, your faith in yourself diminishes… But there is still that glimmer of sun, the brightness of hope and happiness in the distance.
Run!
You’re trying your very best to make it, trying your hardest to be happy, trying your best to be accepted. But with every step, it seems as if that ray of hope is shrinking, getting further and further away.
Almost in complete darkness, you stop running and look around; everything’s gone, everyone has disappeared… You’re all alone.
You’ve ran so far, trying to make it by yourself, you were certain you didn’t need their help.
But now, you’re lost.
You were so sure you could make it by yourself, but what a surprise, you were wrong - Again - You’re always wrong, always managing to mess everything up. Why did you push them away? They only wanted to help, they were your friends, your family… Now they’re all gone, you forced them to leave, how could you have done that?
The more you dwell on your mistakes the faster the glimmer of hope dissolves into the ever growing darkness, your surroundings start to close in; as if you’re trapped in a box. The air thickens making it hard to breathe, everything feels like it’s colliding together around you. The small bright light of hope suddenly disappeared. You’re trapped; submerged in a misty darkness; all signs of hope and redemption are gone, will you ever escape this torment? Frantically, you look around trying to find the light again - but it’s gone and it won’t be back anytime soon.
Everything starts closing in even faster so you’re forced to start moving again: with every step taken your legs grow weaker and heavier, you’re ready to give up and collapse any minute now.
You fall.
You brace yourself for impact, but nothing happens; you just keep falling, plummeting into the abys. You try to scream, try to call out, but you know no-one will hear you. They’re all gone, remember? They won’t be coming back, not after you pushed them away like that. You try to choke back the fiery tears as they burn paths down your face. What did you do to deserve this? Why are you here? Why did it have to turn out like this?
Then, everything stops.
You hit the ground with a hard thump and strain your head to look from where you came, but see nothing… you’ve reached a point of no return.
After trying so hard you still managed to fail: Your effort wasn’t good enough, you weren’t strong enough, you are a failure. Maybe that’s why the others never came back… you failed them, let them down, disappointed them. Maybe it is time to give up… Maybe it would be better that way… Everyone would prefer it, they would be so much better off without you - You were just a burden to them.
All of these agonising thoughts start to flow through your head, but there is nothing you can do to stop them. In the midst of your panic and frustration, you notice a strange shadow forming in the distance. This strange silhouette seems warm and welcoming, but this idea of the unknown terrifies you.
What good could ever come out of a shadow in the darkness?
With nothing else to lose you decide to walk over there. You pick your tattered body up off of the floor, and slowly drag yourself over there. Surprisingly, the more you walk, the clearer the image is. You can start to make out what it is - You have an idea, but it can’t be true, you don’t want it to be…
You stop.
The dark shadow was now glowing in front of you… This is it, this is your ticket out of here. But this can’t be the only way, is it?
You step up onto the stool. Surely there has to be another way? Your jittering hands grab hold of what seems to be your only option. You put your head through to take a look at this possibility. You let go, leaving it tight around your neck.
You step off.
No turning back now.
The bright flashes of memories fly past you before your eyes…
Then there’s nothing… Nothing but black.