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Dating vs. Hanging Out

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Submitted By arichey
Words 1155
Pages 5
Anna Richey
Opinion Editorial

Dating vs. Hanging Out I met a guy in my class the other day and after some small talk we finished with “lets hang out tonight.” That same night a friend of mine introduced me to someone and that person called me the next night and set up a date for that weekend. Obviously the second person was ready to take action and had the courage to ask me out. There is a difference between dating and hanging out and both girls and boys value dating. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things. Young Adults need to stop replacing dating with hanging out and bring back the value of dating.
The way my brother, Daniel met his fiancé is a perfect example of Dating. Dan is 27 and had just gone through a bad break up with the girl he thought he was supposed to marry. He had met up for conference with his friends where they discussed all their plans and trips for the summer. In the April session of General Conference, they stressed to young single adults of the need to date, find their eternal companion, and get married. After listening to the counsel of the prophet his summer plans changed very quickly. He decided to attend every FHE, Young Single Adult Activity, Dance etc and ask out a couple girls a week. He took out one particular girl named Tiffany to Airborne Trampoline Center in Draper, Utah. He noticed the blonde cashier on his way out and started talking with her (his date wasn’t with him). The rest was history; they are getting married October 14. He was able to meet his future wife because he took action and asked girls out even if he knew the relationship probably wouldn’t go further than a couple of dates.
There is a big difference between dating and hanging out. I looked up both words in the Urban Dictionary and this is what came up. First, hanging out: To socialize with your friends, whether it is of your choosing or not; most of the time the term is used to refer to a type of fun. The definition for dating was, “Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.” The difference is when hanging out, you are having fun with lots of friends, but when dating you are having fun with one person and getting to know him or her more. In May 2005, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Elder Dallin H Oaks, addressed the subject of dating and hanging out. He said, “If you don’t know what a date is, perhaps this definition will help: I heard it from my 18-year old granddaughter. A ‘date’ must pass the test of the three P’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off.”
There are many key things dating brings to a relationship. Hanging out is a great thing and it would be unrealistic to ask anyone, even myself, to stop hanging out. Start a relationship with a hangout to see if there is potential. If the relationship is continued on a hang out basis than you’ll miss the essential points that dating gives to a relationship. These are getting to know each other on a deeper level, commitment, conversation, interaction patterns, depth in the relationship and of course experience. “The old-fashioned date was a wonderful way to get acquainted with a member of the opposite sex. It encouraged conversation. It allowed you to see how you treat others and how you are treated in a one-on-one situation. It gave opportunities to learn how to initiate and sustain a mature relationship. None of that happens in hanging out.” (Oaks)
What are common reasons why girl and boys don’t date? Some of the very common reasons are fear of marriage, setting priorities, lack of relationship skills and commitment problems. Some one who is less committed will tend to date less because dating is a commitment, even if it is only for a couple of hours; you are committed to that person for those few hours of the night. Lack of relationship skills is a common factor in not dating. The only way to build those skills is by dating. How are they going to get better is we don’t try to make them better. Young Adults, stop shying away from the thought of marriage. I still get scared that if I go on a date and we really like each other that the next step is marriage. Let me tell you that one date does not lead to marriage. Like the definition I gave you, a date is having fun with one-person and getting to know him or her. Dating is to find out what kind of person you are compatible with. There is definitely a time and a place for hanging out but it is time to get serious and build up the courage. The increased amount of hanging out has put a strain on the amount of dating among young adults. It is causing the amount of people getting married to decrease. The average age of marriage has gotten older because people are putting off what needs to be done. Young men and women, get serious about dating, relationships, and marriage, and build up the courage. Girls want to date! They value dates when the guy calls, asks them out, opens their door for them and makes them feel important. Boys like to provide, that is their main purpose in life and they feel important when they are able to provide for a woman. In conclusion, I want to say that when you are asked out or thinking of asking a girl out, go on the date and just have fun. Boys, ask the girls out and girls, accept! Find out who you are and aren’t compatible with, make it a point to date rather than hang out. If a girl wants you to come to her apartment with her and her two roommates, grab two guys and take them out. Try to distinguish between a date and a hang out. Men need to think of the three P’s and the definitions and know the difference. You don’t have to marry the person or have a relationship with him or her but you can have fun and enjoy life. Get to know the person and if it doesn’t work out, well then that just means god has someone better for you but if you don’t ask or accept, you’ll never know.

Works Cited

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dating

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hanging%20out

http://dmblood.typepad.com/the_curmudgeonly_professo/2008/02/dating-vs-hangi.html

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