Instructions
Respond to three letters from each chapter. Draw information from the chapter while formulating your response; use correct terms and definitions. Reference information you use from the textbook by citing the page number. If you use information from outside the textbook, make sure it is credible and generally supported by the medical and scientific community. Avoid anecdotal evidence or opinion. Your written responses should be 2200-2500 cumulatively, or about four to five pages single-spaced (including the original Dear Abby Letter).

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|Dear Abby, |
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|My three-year-old is driving me crazy! He is so picky! He will only wear certain clothes. He is a very picky eater. I wonder if he is eating |
|enough. He’s getting much thinner and doesn't eat as much as he did when he was younger. This morning, he had a fit because I gave him a new |
|toothbrush that was a different color than his old one. Have I done something to make him so picky? What should I do to prevent him from |
|becoming a spoiled brat? |
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|Picky Problems in Plainsville (Chapter 8, Letter 1) |
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|Dear Picky Problems in Plainsville, |
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|Don’t worry, your child is just going through what is called the “just right” stage. The “just right” stage is a stage in your child’s |
|development that they want things done the exact same way all of the time. It is completely normal for him to freak out when things change. |
|This is nothing you have done and is something that you shouldn’t mind obliging, as long as it is harmless things. If he only wants to eat ice|
|cream that would be something you need to change. As far as what you should do, you should feed him healthy food and go along with his wanting|
|the same color toothbrush and same clothes. He will eventually grow out of this at about age 6 (pg. 228-229). It is also normal for children |
|your son’s age to eat less than when they were younger. Their bodies don’t use up as much as they use to. So as long as your son is eating |
|healthy, he will be just fine (pg. 227). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|My son is almost four years of age and can’t tie his own shoes. He’ll be going to school soon and I’m worried that his poor fine motor skills |
|will be a problem. He still draws stick figures that are nothing more than a head with arms and legs attached. He can kick a ball and loves to|
|ride his tricycle, but can’t hop on one foot very well. He also has trouble with art projects that use scissors. Sometimes he doesn’t even |
|know which hand to use. He often uses both hands when coloring with crayons. Would it be wrong for me to encourage him to use his right hand? |
|What is developmentally appropriate for children his age? Are boys slower at developing fine motor skills than are girls? |
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|Ambidextrous in Alabama (Chapter 8, Letter 3) |
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|Dear Ambidextrous, |
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|Your son is perfectly fine. He has developed his gross motor skills but is still developing his fine motor skills. These will keep developing |
|as long as he keeps practicing. Fine motor skills require both sides of the brain and most 2-6 year olds are still developing this skill (pg. |
|241). He will choose a hand to use predominantly at about age 6 and he will soon be able to hop on either foot (pg. 238). You shouldn’t |
|encourage him to use one hand over the other. You need to let him figure that out for himself. As far as what is age appropriate skills, 4 |
|year olds should be able to catch a small ball thrown slowly, use scissors to cut, hop on either foot, feed themselves with a fork, dress |
|themselves, copy most letters, pour juice without spilling, and brush their teeth (pg. 238). Girls are a little faster in developing motor |
|skills as they usually develop about six months quicker (pg. 241). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|I’m a childcare worker for a large child care center. I’m worried about one of our little boys. He’s 18-months-old and moves around quite |
|well. However, he seems to always have bruises and scrapes on his forehead, hands, and legs. He doesn't talk much and plays by himself. |
|Yesterday he hit another child in order to get something he wanted. Could this aggression, the physical injuries, and his quiet solitary |
|behavior be signs of child abuse? What hard evidence do I need before I can report it? My co-worker doesn’t think it’s any big deal. Could we |
|get in trouble for not reporting it? |
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|Bewildered by Bruises in Billington (Chapter 8, Letter 4) |
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|Dear Bewildered by Bruises, |
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|The signs of abuse or child maltreatment are these: repeated injuries, fantasy play with dominant themes of violence or sexual knowledge, slow|
|physical growth, lack of appetite or unusual appetite, ongoing physical complaints such as stomach aches, reluctance to talk, play, or move, |
|no close friendships, bullying of other children, hypervigilance with impulsive reactions such as cringing or hitting, and injuries that do |
|not fit accidents such as bruising on both sides of face or cuts not scrapes. Your observations fit these descriptions and you need to be |
|concerned. At the very least this child is living in a disrupted home (pg. 250-252). You have evidence enough. You can report it, but you also|
|need to provide high-quality care to this child to help him through his development (pg. 251-252). You may not get in trouble but you |
|definitely have the responsibility to report the abuse or maltreatment. You cannot stand idly by and let this happen if you know that it is |
|going on (pg. 247). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|I had the funniest thing happen the other day. My daughter was upset because her sister had more pennies than she had. Without giving her any |
|more pennies, I spread out her pennies so there was more distance between them. She suddenly calmed. My husband thought she just wanted the |
|attention of someone interacting with her. But I think she calmed down because she actually thought there were more pennies when they were |
|spread out. What do you think? Do you know why she acted the way she did? |
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|More in Montana (Chapter 9, Letter 2) |
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|Dear More, |
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|You are right when you say that you think your daughter actually thought there were more pennies. She really believes that. It is because your|
|daughter’s preoperational intelligence trumps logic. She doesn’t understand that things don’t change when put in different containers or |
|spread out. This will happen if you put water from one glass into a skinnier glass, she will think that you gave her more water. She will also|
|freak out if both her and her friend get two crackers but her friend gets a bigger cup to put them in. She will think that there is more in |
|her friend’s cup (pg. 259). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|I am so frustrated with my son. He has taken picky to a whole new level. I was making a sandwich for him and accidently put some pickles on |
|it. He quickly informed me he didn’t like pickles, so I took them off his sandwich. But he wouldn’t touch the sandwich even when I’d taken the|
|pickles off for him. What is his problem? How should I deal with it? |
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|Pickle Problems in (not-so) Pleasantville (Chapter 9, Letter 3) |
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|Dear Pickle Problems, |
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|Your son is displaying what is called irreversibility. This is one fails to recognize that things can be undone. Your son believes that the |
|pickles cannot be taken off of the sandwich. He saw the pickles go onto the sandwich and he cannot fathom that they can be taken off. This is |
|also because they have static reasoning, which is the thought that the world is unchanging. This means that he can’t understand that tv shows |
|can’t be paused or that you were once a child as he was. You need to deal with it understanding how he thinks. You might need to make a new |
|sandwich and you must be patient with him. He doesn’t understand as you and I do, that things can be changed (pg. 258-259). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|My husband jokingly said, “It is all right to talk to yourself as long as you don’t answer back.” But I’m worried about my four-year-old son. |
|He seems to always talk to himself and does so more when he is working on something. Why do children verbalize what they are doing? Will he |
|change or is it just his personality? |
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|Verbal in Vermont (Chapter 9, Letter 5) |
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|Dear Verbal, |
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|Your son is doing this as a way to learn and to increase his development. It is called private speech. Most people and kids do this. Most kids|
|do this without realizing that they are doing it. They use this to review, decide, and explain events to themselves. This aids their cognition|
|and self-reflection. This act is to be encouraged by parents. Your son will change but will always talk to himself on occasion, as I’m sure |
|you and I still do. He will just become more selective in when he talks. He will most likely start to whisper instead (pg. 263-264). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|My husband plays rougher with our preschooler than I’d like him to. I’m afraid that such play will model aggressive behavior. My husband |
|thinks I’m being too “girly” with him because I let him play dress-up games and let him play with his sister’s baby doll. We’re both worried |
|that he doesn’t play very interactively with others. He just does his own thing. What advice do you have for our play problems? |
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|Play Problems in Portland (Chapter 10, Letter 2) |
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|Dear Play Problems, |
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|Your husband is perfectly fine playing rough with your son. Rough-and-Tumble play is perfectly acceptable and has many positives to it. Some |
|scientists believe that it helps your son’s prefrontal cortex develop. They also believe that it teaches children to regulate emotions, |
|practice social skills, and strengthen their bodies. Specifically play between a son and his father can help regulate aggression but may |
|prevent antisocial behavior and murder (pg. 296-297). Your son is also fine playing with supposed “girly” toys. He will grow out of it when he|
|chooses to and he is still learning valuable things by playing with those toys. Don’t worry about him playing alone. Generally kids will play |
|alone until they develop more. Then they will start to interact more with others. My advice to you is to let him figure it out himself and |
|continue to let him play how he wants to (pg. 294-298). |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|My wife doesn’t want to spank our children. She thinks it will cause emotional damage or problems later in life. I was spanked as a child, and|
|it didn’t bother me. Sometimes it seems that spanking is just the right thing to do. For example, what do you do when a child runs out in the |
|street? It seems that children who aren’t spanked turn out to be spoiled little brats. Spanking doesn’t have to be severe—it can be a gentle |
|swat on the backside. What suggestions do you have on spanking? |
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|Spanking in Spokane (Chapter 10, Letter 4) |
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|Dear Spanking, |
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|Spanking may seem like it works and it might temporarily, but over time it can be detrimental. Studies have shown that spanking may cause |
|children to grow up to be delinquents, bullies, and abusive adults. They also can become slower learners in school. Your child learns that |
|through might or physical strength they can get what they want. Now spanking isn’t guaranteed to cause these things, but most |
|developmentalists agree that it is not worth the risk (pg. 307-308). There are other forms of punishment that do not have the risks associated|
|with them. Timeouts can be used effectively as long as they are properly administered. Also conversations with older kids on why what they did|
|was wrong, and how what they did hurt someone, tend to work. But there is no one solution (pg. 308-309). You and your wife need to figure out |
|what works best for you and for your children. |
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|Dear Abby, |
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|We have two children, ages two and four. I know too much television is not helpful, but it seems there are many good educational programs that|
|can help them learn. We also have a computer with interactive games that help fine motor skills. What is recommended for children when it |
|comes to the amount and types of media usage? What rules or precautions might be helping in monitoring the media in our home? Is Baby Einstein|
|a helpful program? |
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|Sitting for Sesame Street in Salem (Chapter 10, Letter 6) |
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|Dear Sitting for Sesame Street, |
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|Your children’s media consumption is really up to you. Educational programs have proven to be helpful and there really is no strict guide for |
|how long your child should or shouldn’t watch television. But for every minute spent watching television or playing computer games, a minute |
|is lost that could have been spent doing something else. My suggestion or rule would be if your child could be doing something more |
|constructive with his or her time at the moment. If not, then go ahead and let them watch or play something educational. Try to keep it at a |
|reasonable amount of time. As to whether Baby Einstein is helpful, that is also up to you. If you feel that it helps your child learn, than it|
|is helpful. But you should be there to help facilitate learning. That way your child gets as much as possible from the program (pg. 303-304). |

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Unit 3: Dear Abby Letters