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Dimmesdale Journal

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Dimmesdale Journal 1. Hester is about to go up on the scaffold to be mocked for her sin. I must also be there as I am the Reverend. It pains me to see Hester up there paying for her sins while I have also done the same as her. The people see me as this very holy man when I should be seen as low as Hester. I am required to ask Hester who the father is when I already know it is me. 2. I am feeling very ill because of the great secret that I am keeping inside of me. It hurts me to see these people adoring me when I don’t deserve to be adorned, I deserve to be scorned. 3. Chillingworth is the doctor that has been taking care of me. I find him to be creepy and demonic at times. I’m not sure what it is about him that makes me so uneasy but I would like to find out. 4. I miss Hester very much and need to talk to her. I still love her greatly. I also long to be seen by pearl as her father so she can be accepted by the people. I also hope that it can make her act more normal than she has. 5. I went up on the scaffold so people could see who I really am. While I was up there, no one sees me. I see Hester and Pearl and Invite them up on the Scaffold with me. I speak to Hester and also ask Pearl to kiss me but she doesn’t. She wants me to come out in public and say that I am her father but I just can’t. 6. I feel that I must whip myself and do other forms of torture so I pay for my sin. If the people do not punish me in public, than I must punish myself in private. I need to suffer in private the way Hester was made to suffer in public. I actually wish that I could have suffered in public because the pain could not have been nearly as bad as it has been for me. 7. I am giving very powerful sermons and confessing to my sins but the people are receiving them even better than before. They like me more because they think I understand sin like them. They believe that I am able to think on their level and understand their wrongdoings. 8. I’ve just spoken to Hester in the forest. She has convinced me to leave with her and start a new life. I was also confused when pearl reacted so badly to Hester taking off her A. It seemed that she did not want to see her mother in any other way. I now must come out in public. It will be the most difficult thing I’ve ever done but I need to show Hester and also Pearl that I am completely proud of them and want to be seen in public with the. 9. I’m going on the scaffold to give one last sermon and tell the people what I have done and who I am. I will bring Hester and Pearl up on the scaffold with me and show that they are my family. I also must reveal the Letter A that I have scarred on my chest. I know that Chillingworth will try to stop it but he will not be able to stop anything. I will be leaving with Hester and Pearl after I come out and live the life that I want to live. I will no longer have to suffer internally as my sins will be known to the public. 10. I feel that being accepted by the community is much worse than being able to go and live with Hester and Pearl. I do not want to be constrained by communities’ judgment anymore. I want to behave naturally with my family and enjoy life. I feel that I shouldn’t have to suffer for my sin forever.

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