Divorce Time to Say Goodbye When it comes to breaking-up and ending a relationship, the song by The Manhattans released in 1976 says it best “Let’s Just Kiss and Say Goodbye”. The song has deep and meaningful words, even though it is about a man ending his side relationship with his lover, it holds true for any relationship that is ending, especially a marriage. There are several reasons why people decide to dissolve their marriage. No matter, how they arrived at the decision, the end result not only affects them but it will affect the children, pets, family, and friends. They must determine the best way to inform their loved ones about the dissolution of the marriage. They must also decide who will have custody of the children and pets. When a man or woman is fed up with their spouse mishandling of finances, lack of communication and unfaithfulness; they feel divorce is the best solution. Money is a touchy topic regardless of the situation but there are several reasons why people may mishandle their finances. Although, the reasons may vary, some couples divorce over finances because of bad investments, addictions, and lack of maturity. A person should never invest their money into anything without a lack of understanding because when something sounds too good to be true it usually is and the damage it does cannot be changed. Addictions are no longer limited to drugs and alcohol; gambling and porn is on the rise as well. Gambling and purchasing porn can be done over the internet and the access charges can be catastrophic. Since men and women mature at different levels, getting married a young age can be difficult, especially if they have never experienced living on their own. If a person has never paid a bill or created a budget, they would not understand the concept of good credit and saving for the future, let alone running a household. When the funds are out of order or gone who does it affect? Of course the marriage but it also affects the children, pets, family and friends. How will the children college education be paid, or the veterinarian bill for the pet, or the debt that’s owed to a friend? Money is essential to life but when it is spent frivolously, invested badly, or used to overindulge it can end a marriage. Communication is the lifeline to all relationships and it is extremely important in a marriage. Avoiding one another, arguing, and making decisions without checking with one another are all non-communicating behavior. It is not healthy for a man or a woman to walk around tight lipped and giving each other the cold shoulder. Cursing and using hurtful words are even worst. Saying things that you know will hurt your spouse’s feelings is just plain mean. Also, obligating your spouse to host a party or fix someone’s car without consulting them is wrong. They may already have something else planned. Spouses that do not communicate have no idea of what is going on with their partner, children, family or the household. The children may think that yelling, cursing, and arguing is the proper way to communicate. They may think that that is how husbands and wives should treat one another and that that is a sign of love. Eventually, all of that disrespect leads to divorce because there is only so much verbal abuse one can take. Infidelity destroys trust. A person may seek attention outside of their marriage for many reasons; because their spouse is being unfaithful, their bored, or they feel unappreciated. Cheating is unhealthy and very bad for a marriage, regardless of the reason. When a man or woman feels that their spouse is being unfaithful they may hire a Private Investigator or have a friend follow him or her. After they receive proof or confirmation, they may start an extra marital affair as well. Now they both are out of order. People with too much idle time tend to get bored and that leads to looking for something exciting to do. They may start with something simple, like going to the gym or walking around the park. While at the gym or park, someone captures their attention and then a conversation starts. Before long, an affair has started and all of the sneaking around makes it even more exciting. Now they’ve found the cure to their tedium. Constant complaining and no complimenting can make a person feel bad. It can also lead them to finding appreciation from someone else. Ultimately, all of the sneaking around will have an effect on the children, pets, family and friends; called neglect. No one is available to help with homework, cook dinner, walk the dog, or play Taboo with and since the trust is gone, divorce is inevitable. Deciding it is over and throwing in the towel is not an easy thing to do. It is a decision that requires a lot of thought, soul searching, and weighing of the pros and cons because it affects others too. If there are children or pets involved, who will have custody? Can family and friends be divided as well or should the decision be left up to them? Most importantly, how and when is the best time to let everyone know that a divorce is on the horizon? Giving up is truly hard to do but when a spouse have put up with numerous indiscretions, unhealthy habits, and overdrawn bank accounts; the decision to end the marriage will come easy. All of those outside sources can damage any relationship and lead to distrust. Without trust any relationship destined for failure, especially a marriage.