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Divorce

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Divorce or dissolution of marriage is a legal process in which a judge or other authority dissolves the bonds of matrimony existing between two persons, thus restoring them to the marital status of being single. A divorce does not declare a marriage null and void, as in an annulment, but rather declares that a fully consummated marriage is irretrievably broken and that it should be dissolved, allowing the parties to marry other individuals.
Divorce laws vary considerably around the world. Divorce is not permitted in some countries, such as in Malta and in the Philippines, though an annulment is permitted.
The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt, though these matters are usually only ancillary or consequential to the dissolution of the marriage.
In some jurisdictions divorce does not require a party to claim fault of their partner that leads to the breakdown of marriage. But even in jurisdictions which have adopted the "no fault" principle in divorce proceedings, a court may still take into account the behaviour of the parties when dividing property, debts, evaluating custody, and support.
In most jurisdictions, a divorce must be certified by a court of law to become effective. The terms of the divorce are usually determined by the court, though they may take into account prenuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements, or simply ratify terms that the spouses may have agreed to privately. In the absence of agreement, a contested divorce may be stressful to the spouses and lead to expensive litigation. Less adversarial approaches to divorce settlements have recently emerged, such as mediation and collaborative divorce, which negotiate mutually acceptable resolution to conflicts. In some other countries, like Portugal, when the spouses agree to divorce and to the terms of the divorce, it can be certified by a non judiciary administrative entity, where also can be served an Electronic Divorce since March 2008. The effect of a divorce is that both parties are free to marry again. (see bigamy)
In cases involving children, governments have a pressing interest in ensuring that disputes between parents do not spill over into the family courts. One way of doing this is through the encouragement of a parenting plan. In the United States, all states now require parents to file a parenting plan when they legally separate or divorce.
The subject of divorce as a social phenomenon is an important research topic in sociology. In many developed countries, divorce rates increased markedly during the twentieth century. Among the nations in which divorce has become commonplace are the United States, Canada, and Scandinavia. Japan , France, and Italy retain a lower divorce rate, and it has decreased recently.

What Are the Main Causes of Divorce Today?

Divorce is a serious issue that has far reaching effects. Even if you haven’t personally been divorced, you may be the child of a divorced couple, or witnessed what your friends or other family members went through during a divorce.

Divorce is hard on everyone.
Divorce takes place for a number of reasons, but the main causes today are often rooted in a lack of communication. There are times that couples feel they can’t make a go of it simply because they feel misunderstood or that their partner hasn’t got a clue, or doesn’t care.
Sometimes stressful situations such as financial problems can lead to divorce. And sometimes, the couple just grows apart, feeling as if they have no common ground left. Whatever the reason, divorce not only affects the couple, but it affects many others – children, friends, even co-workers.
It’s a stressful situation to go through, even if the divorcing couple is making their best effort to remain on civil terms. Should you find yourself in the situation of divorce, before you make any final decisions, try to make sure that the marriage is not worth salvaging.
Sometimes, with the help of a skilled counselor, or just the help of time, couples find themselves working through problems and discovering that they still want to be married. Try discussing the possibilities with your spouse and do your best to communicate openly and from the heart.

Effetcs Of Divorce

The Emotional and Financial Effects of Divorce

Divorce will affect the parties directly involved as well as those that are not directly involved, including children, family and friends. Two main effects of divorce that will be visibly felt are the emotional and financial results. Fortunately, there are methods that you can employ to effectively cope with both of them.

The Emotional Effects of Divorce

The emotional effects of divorce will probably affect you the most intensely, and can include a sense of loneliness and depression. You might also have plenty of negative feelings toward your spouse that will need to be examined and dealt with. Dealing with your feelings after a divorce can be directly proportional to the reason for the separation, but this experience nearly always has a negative emotional impact. The best way to deal with emotional effects from a divorce is to understand your feelings, come to terms with what happened by accepting the facts and moving forward.

The Financial Effects of Divorce

While dealing with divorce is nearly always an emotional experience, when finances are involved it can get painful on a whole different level. The financial effects of divorce can be as drastic as the emotional effects, especially when it involves a longer marriage where the couple has accumulated a number of assets over the years, such as a home, car and other property. If you do not handle this aspect of your divorce responsibly, the effects of divorce can be financially devastating and far reaching.

While dealing with emotions is done from the heart, dealing with finances should be done with the head as objectively as possible. Mixing emotions with financial management can quickly turn into a disaster. If you and your partner can come to a mutual agreement in dividing your belongings, your divorce proceeding will move along much more smoothly than if you are forced to get the courts involved.

Avoid Divorce Arguments In Front Of Children

When you are getting a divorce and there are children involved, it is important to be careful how you react in front of the children. After you tell them what is going on and explaining to them that they are still loved by both parents, you do not want to upset them in any way. You need to make sure that the children are feeling safe and secure knowing that both parents love them.

You should never have a fight in front of the children with the other parent. This will be very disturbing to the children and may cause them to be fearful of what may happen in the future. You should not speak in a bad way about the other parent as well. You have to be very careful not to call the other parent names or talk bad about any thing that they have done.
Parents who continue quarreling and verbally abusing each other in front of their children after divorce cause immense distress to their children. Continued parental conflict, especially when the children are caught in the middle, may result in depression, hostility, aggressiveness and other acying-out activities on the part of the children.
Never keep the children away from the other parent unless they are in danger of anything. You should let the children see the parent when they feel the need to. Let them know that they can call them anytime and you will be happy to drive them to see you're soon to ex spouse's residence any time that they want.
You never want to distance yourself from your children. You have to keep up your responsibly of being a parent. You need to communicate with your child and be a good parent. It is a hard time and can be very depressing for a lot of adults. It is important to keep up your strength both physically and emotionally for the children's sake.

Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce

Children and Divorce

Without a doubt, the most difficult aspect of getting a divorce is helping the kids cope with the split. Obviously, a divorce can be quite tough on a child and, if not handled effectively, can lead to long term resentment and behavioral problems. Therefore, care must be taken to help your kids cope with divorce in order to help them get through it in the healthiest manner possible.

How To Talk To Your Kids About Divorce

One of the most important things you can do to help your child cope with your divorce is to talk it out with your child. Attempting to pretend the problems do not exist will only increase your child's anxiety. While you don't have to tell your child every gory detail about your marriage and why it is coming to an end, you should make it clear to your child that he or she has nothing to do with the divorce and that you simply don't wish to be together anymore.

When you talk with your child about the divorce plans, avoid finger pointing and blaming. Even if one of you did something that was the main cause of the divorce, such as committing adultery, your child doesn't need to know this information. Your emphasis should be on letting your child know that the divorce is not his or her fault and that you both love him or her very much.

Keeping Divorce Amiable

Even if you and your spouse can no longer stand the sight of one another, it is important for you to be amiable in front of the children. Depending upon how the marriage ended, your children may have already witnessed you having plenty of arguments. They don't need to see these arguments any longer. Rather, try to get along with each other in front of the children and save your disagreements for when they are not around.

As part of keeping it amiable, you should also make a conscious effort to avoid badmouthing your ex in front of your children or putting your children in the middle of your disagreements. If you badmouth your ex or otherwise try to drive a wedge between your ex and your child, your child will only resent you for your efforts. If your spouse truly is a "bad" person, your child will discover this on his or her own and doesn't need you to point it out. The same is true when it comes to your disagreements - your child should never serve as the go between or as the spy for you or your spouse. This will only result in confusion and will make your child feel as if he or she has to choose sides.

Spend Time Without Overcompensating

As you go through your divorce, it is important for you to spend time with your child. While caught up in the emotions of getting a divorce, it is easy to forget to find time for your child. Yet, this is a time during which you need to be certain your child gets plenty of your attention and reassurance.

At the same time, avoid the temptation to overcompensate for the divorce and to buy your child's love. This will only result in a bad situation for everyone involved. What your child really needs at this time is to know that you are there and that your love is still strong, even when your love for your spouse has faded.

| How To Overcome A Divorce |
| |
| |
|For most people it is always very hard to deal with divorce. No one enters a marriage believing that it will end some day, |
|however almost 50 per cent of all marriages do end in divorce. Feelings, such an anger, sadness, depression, helplessness, |
|loneliness, and guilt are common for divorcing people. |
|When everything in a life has been turned upside down, figuring out how to handle divorce is one of the tougher things that |
|one can possibly encounter. It does not only mean that people have to deal with the end of a relationship, but they also have|
|to figure out how to share and split everything, who will have to move out, and many other unpleasant things. |
|Divorce is a type of loss for many people, and a tough transition. It takes a lot of time and energy to adjust or heal. |
|Particularly, during the first year after divorce, people usually have a hard time re-establishing their lifestyle as singles|
|again. They may feel hopeless and try to isolate themselves from other people. Some feel shame thinking that they will be |
|criticized and judged by others, some feel abandoned and miserable, blaming self or other part for causing the divorce. Yet, |
|there are some things that a person can try to do in order to make the process of divorce and recovery go as smooth as it |
|possibly can. |
|First of all, after a divorce, it is important to take oneself together and take charge of your own life. Never see yourself | |
|as a victim. Recognize that it is a person himself who is responsible for his own fate. Yes, life circumstances might be | |
|painful, and sometimes it is really almost impossible to see things in an optimistic way, but it is still up to you only how | |
|you will go forward. It is up to you only to establish whether you will learn from your life failures, or whether you will be| |
|broken by them. | |
|Another important thing to do in dealing with a divorce is to never put yourself down, let bygones be bygones, just | |
|understand that whatever was done will never be undone. While moving forward, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. | |
|Try to focus on the things that you can do, even the minor ones. Remember that every new day is one more day that you are | |
|further in the healing process, and another sign that you are learning how to handle the divorce. | |
|Planning for the future is also one of the most important components of the recovery process. Having something to do, or a | |
|plan in mind is necessary for you to keep moving on. As long as you calm down, make up your mind, set your goal and try your | |
|best to overcome all the hardships, you will be in significantly better position to succeed. There might be financial | |
|problems or problems in making decisions about what to do. Finding resources and support from others is helpful to set your | |
|plan and eliminate some barriers. | |
|Surround yourself with things that make you feel comfortable, as well as with some new ones that have nothing to do with your| |
|past married life. Get out of the house from time to time. Isolation only leads deeper into depression. Spend more time with | |
|friends and try to keep your life at ease. Look for activities that you may enjoy and participate in them on a regular basis.| |
| | |
|Do not forget to laugh. It is helpful to be around people with good sense of humor which will make you laugh and, therefore, | |
|forget at least for some time about all the difficulties in your life. Try to look at your life in a positive way, rather | |
|than whining and crying over something that has to be considered as past. Also, stay as active as possible by keeping a | |
|regular exercise routine. Nothing helps our emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It will help in relieving | |
|tense, anger and anxiety. | |
|If you have children, don't use them as leverage in a divorce struggle between you and your ex. The split affects them, but | |
|it should not involve them. Make sure that you are being a good parent by taking care of your children, and by make sure that| |
|your children understand that, no matter what happens, you love them and have their best interests at heart. | |
|Avoid destructive activities, such as alcohol or drugs, when trying to deal with your problem. Don't allow your problems and | |
|feelings to cause you to seek revenge, or play the victim. If you are stressed, hurt or angry, it is best to find a safe | |
|shoulder to vent to and get those feelings out. | |
|When you are living through a highly stressful situation no hasty decisions or changes to your life should be made until you | |
|have thought of all the following consequences. Take time to think things through and thoroughly weigh all your options. And | |
|what is most important, do not blame anyone, forgive yourself and your spouse and don't let the issues from this marriage | |
|follow you into new life and new relationships. The road to a complete recovery after divorce is a long one, however, by | |
|dealing with your divorce, you may finally find yourself in a much better place. | |
|The above are just some suggestions, however, everyone has their own different ways to handle a divorce. Adjusting to divorce| |
|is a process that takes time, so allow yourself time to heal and remember to focus on one day at a time. Only you are the one| |
|who knows which best fits your needs. | |

How To Prevent Divorce

How To Prevent Divorce by: Robert Thatcher
The failure of marriage may be the cause of inconsistency among couples in communicating and interacting with one another both physically and emotionally. Couples tend to hate each other when they do not compromise each other’s mistakes. This often leads to unhappy marriages and even result to divorce.
Adultery is one reason why a marriage can lead to a divorce. Records show that the involvement of the spouse in an adulterous affair could trigger the separation and the spouse has the legal chance to file for divorce cases. Some people may think that adultery has little impact on divorce. Some believe that it is a symptom for a divorce. Adultery is an act of abuse, damaging both the emotional and physical aspect of the relationship.
The crud could be one reason why a couple resorts to divorce. There are times that even when the couple lives together, both could no longer feel the presence of each other in terms of the emotional aspect of their relationship. The lack of love and affection triggers a couple in grueling conflicts and physical abuse, which leads to divorce. Here are some tips on how husbands and wives can prevent divorce.
1. A couple must deal on all conflicting issues. It could be better for a couple to talk about their problems and be open to one another’s opinion. In this way, the couple may find ways on how they will resolve the problem.
2. Make some value on mutual interests. Couples who want to prevent divorce may find ways to have some moments where they can spend time and evaluate their emotions. They should make some effort to make it up for some lost time together.
3. A person always has the option to choose the person that could be right for him. It could be better if the person has the same perspectives and beliefs. This could lessen any irreconcilable differences that would lead to divorce.
4. Make the relationship work as the best of friends instead of just being partners. If there is friendship established within the marriage, there is a strong indication that the marriage can get stronger and even last forever.
5. Learn how to accept any disappointments and failures in the relationship. It can sometimes help when the couple knows all their limitations and imperfections in the marriage. Expressing anger is only normal but they need to make sure that it would only take a little time to release that kind of emotion.
6. It is important to take care of ones physical appearance. Staying beautiful and handsome can spice up the relationship most of the time. However, couples should stay healthy even when there is dieting involved in maintaining a perfect body.
7. Couples should be faithful and honest to one another. To make a long lasting marriage there must be fidelity and honesty in the relationship. They should not tell lies and should be courageous enough n bringing up any problems that may arise.
Always remember that couples are bound together because of love. Divorce may be prevented if couples will always put in mind that their marriage will last long enough and live up to the expectations that they promised to one another when the they exchanged vows. Those who do not agree on divorce are couples who believe that staying together gives them enough reason that marriage is very important as a family.

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...Divorce and Children According to the study that was done in 2004 "In the United States, between 43% and 50% of first marriages end in divorce"(U.S Census Bureau qtd inLansford 140). One can assume that many children will experience some affects caused by divorce. There is evidence to support that children would be better off if the parents stayed married and there is equal supporting evidence that it would be better off if they divorced. A survey done in 2009 by 1000 teenagers "When asked what the teens wanted their parents to know they said that divorce "hurts," "sucks" and that they "don’t want to be blamed for it" or caught in the middle"(GordonPoll Youth Survey qtd inJolivet 175). There are three main areas that impact children's experience with divorce such as behavioral, psychological, and social issues. Children are effected by divorce in many ways which cause their behavior to not be normal. When children go through a traumatic event, such as losing a parent to divorce, they want to act out because they are hurt, and do not know what to do with their emotions. An article written by Ahron Constance states "…..divorce prevents certain risks, is an emotionally stressful and complex transition for families, and continues to affect children into adulthood" (55). Divorce is a hard thing for children to learn how to cope with. Children of different ages rebel in different ways; they do this because at different age levels they cannot comprehend certain things and are...

Words: 2235 - Pages: 9

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Divorce

...Effects of Divorce for Children Linda G. Chelette Riverside City College Ear 20 Tuesday (6:00pm-9:10pm) Tanya Gonzalez September 30, 2014 Research has shown effects on divorce for children have many pros and cons. Some cons are psychological problems, anxiety, lower self-esteem, and depression. Academic performance is also an aspect that affects a child as well as having a healthy relationship. Children from divorced parents also develop conduct problems as well as conflict in sexual activity. Pros would be controlling hostile conflict, improving child and parent relationship as well as improving the quality of parenting. Many experts may agree to disagree on the effects of divorce for children. Studies have shown children with divorce parents have higher anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. This effect’s more females with divorced parents compared to females with intact families. As for male’s it affects them in different ways they become hopeless and discouraged. The depression carries on to adulthood effecting children with low self-esteem, this effect’s personal relationships with friendship as well as the opposite sex. (Portnoy, 2008) Academic performance also affects children with divorced parents; lower test scores will also exhibit lower educational aspirations. Children are likely to drop out of school and achieve lower levels of education. Which eventually effects lower adult occupational status in the long run can lead to school dropouts. Children...

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Premium Essay

Divorce

...he was only three years old. Even to this day he still lives with the effects of it. Divorce is a horrible thing and it is really hard on anyone that is involved. The stress of modern living makes a long list of causes for a divorce and the effects from a divorce are never ending. The most common causes for a divorce are bad communication, cheating, financial problems, sex, and addictions. My husband's parents got divorced because they were no longer happy and fought all the time. Each parent has different reasons for their divorce, but I personally think that they got married young and they were growing into two different people. I know that financial problems and the stress of having two young children did not help with their marriage problems. I think there were a lot of causes behind their divorce and the last fight was just the straw that broke the camels back. Most three year olds can't remember what happened a month ago much less remember something twenty years later, but my husband remembers the fight that led his parents to divorce like it was yesterday and he was only three. I think it mentally affected my husband. He tries to avoid the topic of his parents divorce and he just holds it all in instead of talking about it. It was really hard on him not seeing his dad as much and always having one parent talk bad about the other parent. He always says that he will never get a divorce and put his children through the pain that he went through. Now that he is older he...

Words: 586 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Divorce

...he was only three years old. Even to this day he still lives with the effects of it. Divorce is a horrible thing and it is really hard on anyone that is involved. The stress of modern living makes a long list of causes for a divorce and the effects from a divorce are never ending. The most common causes for a divorce are bad communication, cheating, financial problems, sex, and addictions. My husband's parents got divorced because they were no longer happy and fought all the time. Each parent has different reasons for their divorce, but I personally think that they got married young and they were growing into two different people. I know that financial problems and the stress of having two young children did not help with their marriage problems. I think there were a lot of causes behind their divorce and the last fight was just the straw that broke the camels back. Most three year olds can't remember what happened a month ago much less remember something twenty years later, but my husband remembers the fight that led his parents to divorce like it was yesterday and he was only three. I think it mentally affected my husband. He tries to avoid the topic of his parents divorce and he just holds it all in instead of talking about it. It was really hard on him not seeing his dad as much and always having one parent talk bad about the other parent. He always says that he will never get a divorce and put his children through the pain that he went through. Now that he is older he does...

Words: 586 - Pages: 3