The time is around midnight. I am in a hospital bed, beaten, bloody, pregnant, and cold. As I lay there, I wonder if this is love. How could a man say he loves a women but then hits her? I thought he loved me. I thought we would be a happy family now that I am carrying his baby. Wow I must have thought wrong. This isn’t love this is painful. We have been together for only a couple of months. He said he would take care of me and the baby. He lied. You might ask why I don’t leave. Well let me take you down my long hurtful road and explain my reasoning. As a kid, I always saw a man hit my mom. I didn’t know why she stayed and how she always would end up with the wrong guy. I always told myself I would NEVER let a man hit me. I dreamt of my mom meeting a “good” man and living happily ever after. That day came when I was in 9th grade, my mom met the man I call my dad. We were a happy family. I graduated high school in 2008. That’s when my life took a turn for the worst. I met Eric when I was 18. He said all the right things. I fell in love fast with this idea of a perfect man. He was from Chicago and I lived in Easley. He came down and to meet me. I moved to Chicago with him after knowing him for only 20 days. He was my escape from the real world. The day came where he hit me the first time. I think it was because I didn’t make his food right or something like that. I made an excuse for him. I thought it was MY fault. He said he was sorry and he would never do it again. Well never came to an end the next week. He beat me that day all because I wasn’t home right at 5 to make him his dinner. I covered up the bruises and went to work the next day. I got more hours at work one day and he thought I was cheating on him so he decided I was no longer allowed to work. He locked me in the basement while he worked all day. At this point I was scared and wanted to leave. He caught me trying to leave one night and beat me with a bat. I was sore for weeks after that night. He told me he would kill me if I ever tried to leave again. So I stayed. The next month I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t happy about it at all. But he was, the hitting stopped for about two weeks. I thought he would stop for good and we would be a happy family. He let me out of the basement and was very nice and sweet. I looked on the computer and started to try to connect with my family again. I called my mom and talked with her once a day for about a week. I never told her that Eric had me. One night he came home and saw me on the computer. He said I was cheating on him. He threw the computer on the ground and broke it. This was the night he beat me for the last time. This was the worst beating. He kicked me in the stomach, broke my nose dislocated my shoulder, and tried to kill me. He said if He can’t have me then no one will and he would kill the baby too. All I was thinking about was my baby. My unborn child that would be killed if I don’t get away. He finally stopped and realized that he had beat me bad and called 911. I remember waking up in the hospital. Its midnight I am in in a hospital bed, beaten bloody, and pregnant. I know I have to leave him. I can’t continue to put myself in harm’s way. Domestic violence is a vicious cycle. I didn’t want my child to go through what I did. So I left and never looked back. I never let him back into my life not even to see his daughter. I have been running from him for 5 years now. He did find me once but never came to my house. My daughter is 5 now and still hasn’t come into contact with her biological father. I have learned a very hard lesson from my past. I now know the warning signs. It has been five years and I am married now to a wonderful man who has never put his hands on me. I will NEVER let a man control me the way Eric did. To this day I still have nightmares and night terrors about him. My family never knew of this abuse until it was a little too late.
I believe with all my heart that God gave me my baby girl to save my life from this monster. Eric could have killed me, but I can say I survived and will never get myself in that situation again. I know it’s not right for me to keep him from his child but I had to ask myself why I would let him around her when he tried to kill her while I was pregnant.