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Essay: A Gap of Sky

A lot of young people have tried to end up in a circle of endlessness; coping with restlessness and the feeling of a missing meaning of their life. In that case, they need a gap of sky to give them their hope and self-confidence back in their decisions of life.

In the essay ‘A Gap of Sky’ by Anna Hope the reader meets a girl called Ellie, who are dealing with this issue of choosing the easiest solutions. She wakes up one morning, exhausted by a party the night before, realizing that she has to write an essay about Virginia Woolf for school. She has already got one letter saying that her place at the course will be reconsidered if she fails to hand in an assignment again. Unlucky for her, she has no ink left to print the essay, so she goes out in the city to buy some. At the trip out to get ink, she thinks about her own life and how she shall continue.

The essay is focusing at the thoughts, doings and character traits of the main and only character, Ellie. It is written in a third person narrator, who tells from Ellie’s point of view. The use of a limited narrator makes the reader sympathise and identify with the character. It varies between spoken and written language. In this case the spoken language is her thoughts instead, as if she is talking to herself. Both the spoken and the written language can be seen here: “That was the way she wished it, has always wished it, to dig, to the core, to get the… pith? Was it pith? To suck the pith from life” (p. 4, l. 99-100). It begins with the narrator telling about her thoughts: ‘That was the way she wished it’ and then Ellie interrupts: ‘to get the… pith? Was it pith?’. At he end of the sentence she is asking herself questions, which shows her consideration about her statements.

The young woman, Ellie, is living alone in a hall of residence in London where she is also studying. But she must have had a lack of focus at school, since she has received the letter. This is maybe caused by her use of drugs, which already has affected her to sleep most of the day away. Furthermore, she still seems interested in school, when she wants to make up for it by writing it the whole night instead. Also the fact that she has been screaming ‘Virginia Woolf’ while being at the party, makes the reader understand that it was in her mind the whole time. But beside her will to finish the school she still has a lack of motivation. It is shown in the text when she chooses to pee in the sink instead of walking the short way to the toilet: “She thinks of the hall toilet, at the other end of a chilly, uncarpeted corridor, and, thinking better of it, hoists herself over the sink, turns on the tap, and lets rip a glorious steamy stream of relief” (pp. 2, l. 6). This action (or lack of) shows that she has a tendency to choose the easiest solution towards a more reasonable one as going to the toilet. If that is one of her normal character traits, it could be the reason for her missing self-discipline. Later she has the same character trait again, when she crosses a glove with the middle finger pointing towards the sky. It gives her a delight feeling of freedom, but which could seem like her wanting a sign or a possibility to just give up and forget the purpose for being in the city. She realises that she can do whatever she wants, without limits: “But really, she was free. She was totally and absolutely free” (p. 3, l. 68-69). So here again she follows her lust and goes inside a museum instead of buying ink. In the museum there is an exhibition about life and death, which symbolizes the place of life she feels captured in at the moment. Here she has to choose between the strength to move on or just giving up. Here she realises that she is not ready to die yet. The thought makes her feel sick and she goes outside.

In the essay the city setting is reflecting her life and feelings. There are both some dark and some bright sides, which are being described through her tour around in London. Outside of the museum she notices something she had never seen before, a gap of sky. “And as she turns there is a gap of sky to her right, an emptiness, a vacancy that she doesn’t remember seeing before, something destroyed, or being built” (p. 4, l. 91-92). This shows that the setting reflects her position in life. She is a destroyed person, who is changing to the better or being built.

She moves on to find the river. But here there is a person in front of her, who is opening the door to a shop. When the door is opening light is thrown onto the street. This could be a symbol of her being lead to the right direction, as light is a symbol of renewal, energy and salvation. In the store she sees a red jasper stone, which reminds her of her mother giving her one for a long time ago. At that time she just threw it in the rucksack somewhere and forgot it. Now she realises that she has been taking her mother’s love for granted and suddenly she feels more optimistic about writing her assignment and overcoming the barriers in life: “Ellie feels lighter suddenly, but filled with something fizzing and alive and beautiful. Feels as though everyone must be able to see this substance she has inside her. Wants people to see it (…) Everyone Ellie sees has the same substance within them, connecting them (…) in great bonds of love” (p. 5, l. 116-121). This shows that she in a sudden has changed her mind from earlier, where she just felt that her mother had been pushing her hard to take the course as if it was not for Ellie’s fault (p. 3, l. 65-68). Now Ellie can understand a more wide perspective of decisions: “She will write her essay and that will be a good thing. A good thing and the right thing to do” (p. 5, l. 131-132). She understands that sometimes the right thing to choose is the one that requires the most.

The text shows that there will always be hope and motivation to find somewhere to do the things you want yourself. You just have to consider your freedom as something given with responsibility. So even though some solutions and decisions can seem easier, does not mean that they will be the best in the end. But Ellie realised it, and so can everyone else. The gap of sky will always be somewhere behind the clouds.