CUE 2013-14 Written Exam Exemplar – Essay
Overall Strengths of this essay based on the following Assessment Criteria
Criterion 1 (C1): It offers a clear organization and cohesion, guiding the reader to follow the arguments in the essay with an introductory outline that indicates stance, topic sentences, summarizing sentences, references to previous paragraphs, linking devices, and an appropriate conclusion.
Criterion 2 (C2):
It answers all parts of the question.
It shows a clear, consistent, nuanced and hedged stance throughout, and acknowledges the complexity of the issue and limitation of arguments.
It supports relevant arguments by integrating various types of appropriate evidence from different sources.
Criterion 3 (C3):
It showcases a wide range of appropriate vocabulary and grammatical structures to convey stance and arguments.
Criterion 4 (C4):
It is consistent in the use of citation and referencing, and follows the guidelines in the Citation and Referencing Style Guide for use in the CUE exam.
There is no plagiarism. Ideas / data taken from the reading texts have been paraphrased or directly quoted using quotation marks.
Note: Refer to legend “C1, C2, C3, C4” in the annotations for detailed explanations.

Should the University of Hong Kong be internationalized?
1) Identify the objectives of implementing internationalization in Hong Kong’s universities; 2) Discuss the criticisms of implementing internationalization in Hong Kong’s universities; and
3) State and full justify your opinion on whether the current level of internationalization at the University of Hong Kong is appropriate.
The internationalization of higher education in Hong Kong has been a controversial issue caused by many complex factors. The internationalization of higher education in Hong Kong has been an area of interest for the tertiary education sector and an important aspect in the development of higher education since the 1990’s (Fok, 2007). Such an interest is generated from the expectation that internationalization at Hong Kong universities will help to achieve the objectives of fostering global citizens and enhancing the global status of tertiary institutions in Hong Kong. However, some have criticized the internationalization of Hong
Kong universities for the unequal support of some disciplines over others and the increase in cultural homogeneity in education at the universities. Focusing more specifically on the
University of Hong Kong (HKU), however, it will be shown that the current level of internationalization has had a positive impact and is thus appropriate. This essay will first explain in detail the aforementioned objectives and criticisms of implementing internationalization in Hong Kong’s universities and then move to justify why the current level of internationalization at HKU is appropriate.
First, the implementation of internationalization in higher education allows students to become better equipped for an increasingly globalized world. According to the Times’ Higher
Education world university ranking in 2013, internationalization in local universities such as the University of Hong Kong provides students with many opportunities to go on exchange programs with universities from many parts of the world so that local students are afforded the opportunity to experience the culture of other nations, and thus, broaden their horizons. For international students, they can also gain more knowledge about the local culture of Hong
Kong by participating in local activities run by universities; for example, those run in residence halls (Chau, 2007). According to Dr. Lam (2004, as cited in Fok, 2007), through internationalization, both local and non-local students can gain a more stimulating educational experience and establish more interpersonal contacts with potentially important members of other countries.
Second, the global status of the tertiary institutions in Hong Kong may also be enhanced by implementing internationalization. Through the use of scholarships, academically excellent students and academic staff from other countries can be persuaded to study in Hong Kong tertiary institutions (Fok, 2007). By doing so, the key global rankings of such institutions can

Comment [k1]: C1: Introduces the background and importance of the topic.

Comment [k2]: C2: Acknowledges the complexity of the problem by introducing perspectives from different stakeholders.
Comment [k3]: C2, C3: Uses expressive and evaluative vocabulary to express the stance of others.
Comment [k4]: C2: Shows the stance explicitly with evaluative vocabulary.
Comment [k5]: C1: Provides an outline/structure of the essay.

Comment [k6]: C1, C2: Uses a topic sentence to effectively introduce the theme of the paragraph and the stance.
Comment [k7]: C4: Uses a variety of in-text citation styles instead of merely (Author, Year).

Comment [k8]: C2: Offers arguments from different perspectives.
Comment [k9]: C4: Uses secondary citations accurately. Comment [k10]: C1: Provides a summary to reiterate the stance and theme of the paragraph.

Comment [k11]: C2: Hedges the stance with modal verbs.

Comment [k12]: C2: Develops the argument with specific information.

be enhanced. Evidence for this can be found from HKU’s 35th global ranking, which includes a 7.5% international outlook component (Times Higher Education, 2013). Hence, by attracting more international students to study in Hong Kong universities, these universities will most likely benefit in terms of global ranking and competitiveness.
While the objectives of fostering global citizens and enhancing the global status of Hong
Kong’s universities are clear benefits, internationalization has also been criticized. One concern that some have raised with regard to internationalization is the difference in the amount of resources allocated to certain disciplines and students. According to Mok and
Leung (2011), less popular disciplines such as those in the humanities and social sciences will see a decrease in resources as the more popular disciplines such as medicine and hard sciences gain more support in order to attract more international students. Furthermore, as stated by the
Immigration Department of Hong Kong (2007, as cited in Knight, 2011), a larger number of scholarships have been provided to international students as a result of the promotion of internationalization in higher education. This has the potential of decreasing the amount of financial support given to local students.
Others also worry that promoting internationalization in Hong Kong universities increases the likelihood of cultural homogeneity. For instance, instituting English as the medium of instruction is a major factor for non-local students to consider when deciding to study in Hong
Kong (Knight 2011; Mok & Leung, 2011). This implies that Hong Kong universities would need to adjust their curriculum and medium of instruction to fit the needs of international students, which could undermine the promotion and preservation of Chinese scholarship. This has already affected the Chinese University of Hong Kong, which, according to Mok and
Leung (2011), served to protect Chinese language and culture, but recently shifted to promote
English as the medium of instruction so as to be more “globally competitive” (p.248).
Therefore, the local culture could see a decline in focus after implementing internationalization. Nevertheless, an analysis of the current situation at HKU demonstrates that internationalization is at an appropriate level, especially when considering the evidence relating to the number of international students that have been admitted. The University of
Hong Kong (HKU) has admitted over 3000 non-local students from 57 countries (The
University of Hong Kong, 2012), which shows that the student body is diverse and internationalized. Some may argue that the vast majority of these students come from mainland China as stated by Cheng (2009, as cited in Knight, 2011), signifying that HKU may not be as diverse as advertised. However, this is not entirely a disadvantage for HKU as it provides the university and its students with access to the mainland market (Fok, 2007). Since the business and academic opportunities in mainland China are growing, encouraging more interaction with mainland students allows local Hong Kong students to equip themselves with potentially useful knowledge about mainland China.
Moreover, the University of Hong Kong has many advantageous programs that directly promote internationalization, which has contributed to a positive rise in participation in many

Comment [k13]: C2: Interprets the data instead of only showing them.
Comment [k14]: C2: Uses statistics to support your argument if applicable.
Comment [k15]: C2: Improvement needed: Can state the limitation of the statistics used in the source.
Comment [k16]: C1, C3: Shows the cause-andeffect relationship with appropriate conjunctions.
Comment [k17]: C1, C3: Links to the previous paragraph through complex sentence structure.
Comment [k18]: C3: Uses vocabulary concisely and efficiently to highlight the theme of the paragraph. Comment [k19]: C2: Uses examples to elaborate the argument.

Comment [k20]: C2: Provides the associated implication. Comment [k21]: C2: Hedges a stance with a combination of a moderate verb and a modal verb.
Comment [k22]: C2: Improvement needed:
Relatively abstract concepts such as culture and scholarship can be explained by examples, e.g., the study of Chinese literature in English may not be as effective and appropriate as in Chinese.
Comment [k23]: C1: Uses the pronoun ‘this’ to build cohesion and reference an idea/concept.

Comment [k24]: C1: Ensures the cohesion of argument with contrastive conjunction if there is a major shift in the development of stance.
Comment [k25]: C2: Reiterates a stance consistent with the one conveyed in the introduction.
Comment [k26]: C1: Makes the topic sentence effective by providing an appropriate level of details and new information, not merely repeating what was mentioned. Comment [k27]: C2: Offers a counter-argument supported by evidence.

Comment [k28]: C2: Rebuts the counterargument. Ensures that the response is elaborated with evidence so that the overall stance is not obscured by the counter-argument.

multinational student activities. The school partners with 270 universities across the world to provide international education opportunities for students and holds international conferences for its students to have academic, social, and cultural discussions with students from overseas universities (Times Higher Education, 2013). These opportunities can help students become more global citizens by allowing them to engage in different viewpoints with students from other countries. Additionally, students in the university have personally taken the initiative to organize multinational activities including service trips to developing countries and internship programs (Chau, 2007), which exemplify some of the benefits of internationalization. This further reflects the appropriateness of the current level of internationalization at HKU.
In conclusion, the implementation of internationalization in universities in Hong Kong has brought about multifarious benefits to both students and institutions. They include the development of a more global vision for students and the enhancement of a university’s global rankings. For HKU, proof of its internationalized status can be seen in the large number of non-local students and the number of activities resulting from a more global vision. These are significant advantages arising from internationalization at HKU and contribute to my argument that the current level of internationalization is appropriate. Nonetheless, there remain areas for improvement that could make the internationalization of Hong Kong universities a more worthwhile process for all stakeholders. To do this, a better balance in the provision of resources to a wide range of disciplines is necessary. Also, universities need to continue to promote the importance of Chinese language and culture so as to ensure that students are given an education that is truly global.

References
Chau, A. (2007, May). Looking Back on the Internationalisation of HKU. Dialogue. Issue 78.
Fok, W. (2007). Internationalisation of Higher Education in Hong Kong. International
Education Journal. Volume 8, Issue 1. 184 – 193.
Knight, J. (2011). Education Hubs: A Fad, a Brand, an Innovation? Journal of Studies in
International Education. Volume 15, Issue 3. 221 – 240.
Mok, K. and Leung, A. (2011). Global Aspirations and Strategising for World-class Status:
New Form of Politics in Higher Education Governance in Hong Kong. Journal of Higher
Education Policy and Management. Volume 33, Issue 3. 231 – 251.
Times Higher Education. (2013). The World University Rankings 2012 – 13. Retrieved from www.the.co.uk/worlduniversityrankings2012-13/world-rankings. Comment [k29]: C1, C2: Restates the overall stance with a summary of related themes.

Comment [k30]: C1, C2: Acknowledges the complexity of the topic with relevant recommendations.