Homework On Eye Contact

I read the article, “Just Look Me in the Eye ” and wondered, how true! This is exactly what the era of technology has done to the nature of personal conversations. The paired activity we had in our last class was quite interesting too. It helped me realize that holding eye contact for more than 20 seconds was very uncomfortable. It made me question a lot of things in my mind such as if my looks are okay or if my smile is perfect or am I too stiff, however the moment our professor rephrased the activity by telling that we had to make the other person feel comfortable, the equation in my mind changed instantly, I became relaxed, tried smiling and making I guess funny faces to make my partner feel comfortable and good.

I believe, eye contact helps you establishing a deeper connect with the person you are speaking to. In case of professional relationships it tends to make your conversations more real and add a personalized touch. While in personal relationships, it makes you feel good, accepted and most importantly understood. And in intimate relationships, it helps you create romance and love. As the proverb goes, the eyes are the windows of the soul.

When introduced to someone new, it helps you sending information across your acquaintance whether you are really interested to hold a conversation. It is always polite to keep brief eye contact and offer either a nod or a smile. That makes it look like a welcome sign. On the other hand, it can be really challenging. We may sometimes wonder what makes a stranger avert your gaze? Is it because they are shy or nervous or withdrawn? Or because, it is something ugly about me that they don’t want to see?

I would like to illustrate the above-mentioned situations with some of my personal experiences. Last week I went camping with my husband to Smoky Mountains. We had another couple accompanying us. They had a small kid named Junior. He is about 7 years old. I noticed that whenever he is trying to ask me something or I’ m talking to him he is holding proper eye contact. It is not even that he tries to look anywhere else. It seemed to me that he is really interested to listen or communicate. I loved interacting with him; there was nothing that could distract him when we were talking to each other. It was a delightful, joyous experience. There was a sense of innocence in his eyes, which made me feel he was willing to understand what I was trying to convey. We talked about so many things; he was inquisitive about the mountains, its wildlife and the people who lived over there over there. It helped me express myself completely. I also came to know that Junior imbibed this quality from his mother. She was a wonderful lady who loved talking and she had this strong quality of expressing herself through her eyes. When we acknowledge the other as present and alive through eye contact there is a chance we may like each other, dislike each other, or feel judged. The fears that come with the possibility of human relationship cause us to avoid something as simple as eye contact. A child has no such fears. Therefore, they need not worry about making eye contact with a stranger. A child, in fact, may even smile!
Then, there was another instance where I encountered a complete different situation. I met with a neighbor in the gym of my apartment whose wife worked for Leo Burnett. I was very much interested to speak to her about her experience at Leo, as it is my dream company. I spoke with her on phone, which was a pleasant conversation and decided to meet up in the terrace. When I reached, she was already busy with her laptop, probably working on something. I told her my background, the courses I have taken at UIC, my interest to work in the company, etc. etc. She was making limited eye contact for less than 5 seconds or so. This make me feel as if she wasn’t interested to know about me. This also compelled me to stop speaking and I left in a few minutes. May be she was busy, but it didn’t allow me to open up or have a healthy conversation or make my point as in why I am so passionate about working there. Neither I got to know how was her experience there. The whole experience wasn’t pleasant. Thus comes my conclusion, eye contact may be risky at sometimes as in some cultures it is not accepted, yet it affirms your existence, helps you bond and create valuable relationships.