Parents’ bias towards the child who has better educational performance over other siblings.

Introduction
“Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life” (Palahniuk, n.d.). Parents love their children so much that they sometimes do not bother to sacrifice their lives for them. But the question is-can parents always play a fair role to all their children. We see many children who are weak in studies are neglected by parents in hearing their decisions or suggestions and often those children hear more scold from their parents than other siblings who are good in studies. This type of negative attitude towards the child who is weak in studies makes him/her weaker in future life.
Obviously parents want to see their children at the highest pick of success and that’s why they are more concerned with the child who has better educational performance than other siblings. Parents show bias attitude towards better educational performing child over other siblings as he/she meets parents’ expectation and they feel proud to talk about him/her to others. They also consider him/her to be the last hope at their old days.
This research paper considers whether parents really show bias attitude toward the child who has better educational performance by focusing on three aspects: 1. Better educational performing child meets parents’ expectation. 2. Parents feel proud to talk about them. 3. They consider him/her as to be the last hope.

Better Educational Performing Child Meets Parents’ Expectation To be successful in life one has to have proper education. Parents’ want their children to be successful in life and that’s why they desire good educational performance from their children. The child who is good in studies gets good attention from his/her parents as he/she is meeting parents’ expectation.
The child who is more devoted to studies gets more compliments from near and dear ones as well as from parents. Parents like that child who is devoted in his/her studies. As that child is devoted parents are sometimes show much concern to him/her. May be parents do it unintentionally but this has a negative impact to the other child who is relatively weak in studies. Parents might give that good educational performing child much preference than other one when making a decision or might take a good care of his/her interest first.
Most of the children who are good in studies they are quiet in nature and listen to their parents. As they listen to their parents so parents think that child conforms their rules. Parents want rule abiding children. As a result better educational performing child are more adored by their parents.
Parents always inform their children about their expectation. They tell them what children have to do in future, which way they should go, what things they should avoid. Parents’ expectations sometime become pressure for children to meet. Parents think better educational performing child have the ability to take the pressure, work with it and finally meet all the expectation of them. So parents like that child and give more attention to him/her than other child.
Parents also sometimes become very frustrated with the child who naughty or weak in studies. That’s why they try to send the child to hostel or to a relative’s place so that he/she can realize the importance of education as well as home. And they also want to impose strict rules on him/her. Tagore (2007a) wrote:
At last before one to two days of leaving, Bishwamvar Babu asked his sister about the boys’ education and mental perfection. In reply he knew about Fotik’s unruly unrestrained, unwillingness in studies and Makhon’s politeness and attachment to learning. His sister said, ‘Fotik irritates me a lot’. After hearing that Bishwamvar Babu proposed that he would take Fatik to his own place at Kolkata. The widow easily agreed with this proposal. (p. 22) Feel Proud to Talk About That Child
It is human nature to chatter about good things and avoid saying those things that can embarrass him/her in front of other people. May be one parent have a weak educational performing child but they do not want to say about his/her weakness in front of people. Usually People choose to hide from reality at that time when it causes some degree of pain, discomfort or boredom. ( “Conscious Living: Why People Deny Reality,” n.d.). When other people get to know that one parent have a weak performing child it might cause a little discomfort for those parents. So they try to minimize that discomfort by saying about that better educational performing child in front of people rather than saying about the weak one.
When parents have a good educational performing child they usually tell the weak educational performing child or the naughty that look at your sibling, can’t you be like him/her so by making a comparison between children parents show bias attitude. Even sometimes they fear that naughty child might hurt his/her sibling. As Tagore (2007b) wrote:
Even though Fotik’s mother didn’t have any concerns on letting him go, because she had always a doubt that Fotik can be a dangerous threat for Makhan and can cause severe accident to him. (p. 23)
Better educational performing child brings happiness for parents by getting awards and scholarship. Poor parents also get some sort of financial benefit from that child’s scholarship. On the other hand parents have to pay extra money and effort to the weak performing child so that he/she can improve his/her studies. So parents feel disturbance for paying those extra money and effort as a result sometimes they show bias attitude to the better educational performing child.
When parents have an award winning child for his/her good study definitely they feel different from other parents. The child who is giving them so much prestige and pleasure in return of it parents show extra care for him/her. They try to fulfill his/her need first than the other children. Parents consider him/her to be the last hope
In our country without being a good student it is hard to be successful. “The poor pass percentage and high incidence of unemployment amongst the graduates indicate to low levels of internal and external efficiency respectively” (Masum, n.d.). So our traditional education system does not conform that after graduation students will get a job. Parents feel relaxation when they think about good educational performing child as he/she has a better chance than other to get a job after graduation as he/she has a good result. So parents stay much more tension free about that child.
As mentioned earlier that a better educational performing child has a bright future than other siblings who are not that much good in education. Parents also think that good students have better chance than others to be successful so parents show bias attitude toward good educational performing child.
Good students do part time jobs and from their student life they give some financial assistance to their families. By nature we usually evaluate that person much who has his own income and has some financial contribution in family so parents might show bias attitude toward the child who is a good student and has some part time job.
Good students do get jobs at an early stage. So they have the chance to earn money from an early stage. Parents think that better educational performing child would be a strong hope for them in their old days as they start to income early in life so parents show some favor for him/her than other children. Methodology
For this research I have conducted a survey and made two sets of questionnaires [see appendix for questionnaires]. I have also taken personal interview of one of my uncles and a doctor. I searched the website as well. So this research will be based on primary data as well as secondary data. Only secondary data will be inadequate to answer the questions directly. For secondary data I have used the internet and collected important information related to my topic. Personal Interview
I have interviewed Dr. Aftab Uddin, Chairman of Cardiology Department of BSMMU about this bias attitude of parents. He said that parents might show some bias attitude towards better educational performing child. If parents frequently tell their weak performing child to be like his/her sibling who is a good student it can destroy his/her inner specialties and can create extra pressure for him/her. He also mentioned that parents show bias attitude towards better educational performing child as they think he/she has the bright future on the other hand they think weak performing child has no hope in future (A. Uddin, personal communication, April 8, 2011).
My second interview was taken from one of my uncles. He said that he sent his elder son Tahmid to Comilla Ispahani School and College when he was 12 years old. Even though his second son Tamjid also got chance in that same school but he didn’t send Tamjid over there as Tamjid was polite and had interest in studies. Tahmid was a headache for him as he was too restless and not concentrative in studies. So my uncle sent Tahmid over there so that he can stay under strict rules and can successfully complete his school and college life from there (A. Chowdhury, personal communication, April 5, 2011). So here we can see just because Tamjid was a good student his parents didn’t send him to the residential school. A bias attitude of parents towards better educational performing child is being reflected in this above incident. Data Presentation
People have different opinions about parents’ bias attitude. I have conducted a survey to find out what people think about this topic. I prepared two sets questionnaires; one set of questionnaire is for parents and another is for children. I have conducted a survey on a total of forty people. Below are the results of the primary research which are shown with graphs. Questionnaire for Parents
My target group was parents and I have conducted this survey among 20 parents. Among 20 parents 11 were mothers and the rest were fathers. 1. Suppose one of your children is weak in studies. Would you think of sending him/her to hostel? So 35% parents said they won’t send weak performing child to hostel. The reason they said that hostel might make that child weaker because of insufficient care. So they want weak child to stay with them so that they can take special care for him/her. 2. Who is least problematic for you? Most of the parents said that the child who is not good looking is least problematic for them. Few parents said weak educational performing child is least problematic for them. 3. Suppose one of your children is very good at singing. He/she got chance in a famous singing school of Bangladesh which is outside Dhaka. Would you shift for him/her to that place or would stay at Dhaka as Dhaka confirms your other children’s better education? So 55% parents said they won’t shift so here they are showing some sort of bias attitude towards the better educational performing child. 4. Which event you would consider from the following as one of the happiest events of your life? So better educational performance is mostly desired by the parents as a result 70% of them told that if their child gets gold medal from president it would be their happiest event of their life.

5. Children who are weak in studies can be a strong hope for parents-do you agree? Most parents disagreed with the statement. So they think that only good education can make a person successful and only good educational performing child can be a strong hope for them. With this type of thinking parents are showing bias attitude. 6. According to you who does the least deserve for a pocket money increase? So when the question of pocket money increase come parents said children, who are lazy, fascinated in modeling or less concentrative in studies none of them deserve a pocket money increase. 7. Many parents try to give an early marriage to their daughters if they are weak in studies-do you agree with this?

Most parents disagreed with this statement. 8. Suppose you have three sons. Who is going to be a strong hope for you in your old days?

55% parents answered about Hasan who is studying at DU. so parents are showing their bias attitude towards better educational performing child by mentioning that child would be their hope in old days. 9. You will feel proud to name of- Most of the parents said that they would feel proud to name their engineer daughter. 10. To become successful it is very necessary to be a good student? (In the context of Bangladesh)
25% parents gave importance in extracurricular activities and 30% said being a good student is necessary to be successful. Again parents are biased towards the good educational performing child in term of thinking future success. 11. Who gives you better input in your decision making?
Again parents said the child who maintains better result gives important input in their decision making. 55% of 20 parents said this. Questionnaires for children
For the following questions I have targeted 20 children both male and female. Among them 8 were male and rest were female.

1. Have you ever seen or faced a situation where your siblings/relatives were sent to hostel as he/she was less concentrative in his/her studies? 60% children answered yes means they observed the scenario where parents send their weak performing child to hostel. 2. Who has a better contribution in your parent’s decision making?

Majority (70%) answered about the sibling who nicely maintains his/her studies gives better input in parents decision making. 3. Education is the most important factor of success in the context of Bangladesh-do you agree with it?
Most children agreed that education is important. 4. Have you ever faced any kind of discrimination from your parents? (If ‘yes’ please mention how and why you were discriminated)
It was an open ended question. Many respondents ignored it but few of them answered. Among them 3 people said that in terms of pocket money increase they face discrimination as their result is poorer than their siblings and 2 of them said about their poor contribution in parents’ decision making as they are not that much good student. 5. Have you ever heard that your parents saying “look at your bro/sis. How good they are doing in their studies and you are just good for nothing!!”? 40% said very often. So parents are little bias when they compare children with their siblings. 6. Suppose your CGPA becomes 4/4. Do you think this result will change your parent’s attitude towards you?

So children think that parents attitude towards them can be changed if they improve their result. 30% said that parents will remain same in spite of their good result. 7. Parents cannot play a fair role to all their children-do you agree with it?
Surprisingly 40% agreed that parents can’t play a fair role so here it is more clear that parent might show bias attitude towards better educational performing child. 8. Suppose you have a twin bro/sis. In semester final exam you have got CGPA 3.23/4 and your bro/sis has got 4/4. Your parents are happy for this result. What you think your parents are going to do?
None of the respondent said that parents will buy him/her a new mobile rather 55% said that their sibling will get a new mobile. In term of gift giving parents show bias attitude toward good educational performing child. 9. Children who are weak in studies are one of the biggest headaches for parents-do you agree? 25% strongly agreed and 30% agreed. Means parents actually thinks weak performing child as their one the big headaches. 10. Without being a good student one can become successful in life- what you think about it? 45% said that its possible if he/she is good in other activities like singing, sports. 11. Do you think children who are weak in studies they hear more scold from their parents? 50% agreed and 20% strongly agreed. None of the respondent strongly disagreed. Summary of the Results
According to my survey I found that most of the parents said they won’t send weak performing child in hostel but few of them said that weak performing child is least problematic for them. Most of the parents said that they won’t shift if the question of education comes and winning gold medal by children is one of the happiest events for them. Most parents disagreed when the question of giving an early marriage of their daughter comes if she is weak in studies. Parents think the child who is a good student is going to be a strong hope for them. Most parents don’t expect weak performing child will become a strong hope for them in near future and they feel proud to tell the name of their well established and good educational performing child in front of other people. Even they give more importance to that when they take any decision.
From the children’s perspective I came to know that most of them saw sending weak educational performing child to hostel. And they said the sibling who maintains good result gives better input in parents’ decision making. Unlike their parents they also agreed that education is the most important factor of success in Bangladesh. Most of them heard scold when parents compare with fine educational performing sibling and said parent’s perception will change if their results changes and they also agreed that parents cannot play a fair role. According to them parents also prefer better educational performing child to give a gift. Most of them agreed that weak performing children hear more scold from parents and they seem to be one of the biggest headache for parents. So with all these survey result we can conclude that parents show bias attitude toward better educational performing child.

Limitations
I could not find any direct data about this topic and could not show any statistics. Due to unavailable time I took survey of 40 people. Many of the respondents avoided the open ended question and possibilities are there that many of them didn’t provide correct information. Conclusion
As better educational performing child meets parents expectation and they feel proud to talk about that child in front of other people and they consider him/her to be the last hope of old days so parents show bias attitude toward that child. For our traditional education system one needs to be good in studies otherwise it would be too difficult to become successful in life. As better educational performing child has better chance of success so parents are sometimes bias towards them.

References
Conscious Living: Why People Deny Reality. (n.d.). Retrieved April 7, 2011 from http://www.eruptingmind.com/conscious-living-why-people-deny-reality/
Masum, M. (2008, February). Higher education in Bangladesh: Problems and policies. Paper presented at the Common Ground Conference, Davos, Switzerland.
Palahniuk, C. (n.d.). Parents Quotes. Retrieved April 7, 2011 from http://www.best-quotes-poems.com/parents-quotes.html
Tagore, R. (2007a). Chuti. In M. Muniruzzaman (Ed), Maddhomik Bangla sonkolon (p. 22). Dhaka: National Curriculum and Textbook.
Tagore, R. (2007b). Chuti. In M. Muniruzzaman (Ed), Maddhomik Bangla sonkolon (p. 23). Dhaka: National Curriculum and Textbook.