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Flawless

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Submitted By mskiki92
Words 629
Pages 3
As I prepare to face this day I pluck paint and smooth myself in every single way/ Makeup/ Check/Hair/On point/Outfit/ On fleek/ and I pronounce that this world aint for the likes of me/ I emerge fresh and ready and sashay through the door all eyes on me/ and honey I am soooo fine so that is exactly the way it should be.
But I wonder as move flawlessly in this place if any of you can see the emptiness in my perfectly made up face? /
Can you tell I am a mere shell of myself? / Feeling naked and exposed, not sure of what my future may be / taking my sexy stance I take in the the atmosphere.
Hold up wait a minute……. Ooo look at this foine ass brother here / and as he approaches with that smooth chocolate skin I immediately wonder if he is going to care that I am not very thin/ … c’mon girl suck in ya gut stick out ya butt/ praying he doesn’t notice the girdle line through my jeans./ I smile just ever so slightly pretending to be uninterested trying my best to look coy and sweet,/ feeling my heart swell in my chest as he gets closer then deflate in sadness and fall down deep/ as he strolls right past my top notch hills glittering proudly on my feet/ I turn my head to watch him go directly past me to some random little light skinned skinny ho .
Unh aint that a bitch, Uh how dare he cuz I worked so hard to be the baddest woman in here today/ oh well fuck it I know that nigga must be gay!
Spend the rest of my evening chilling with my girls,/ all of them bearing a ring signifying they belong to someone in this world./ Wishing it was me with a ring so I do the next best thing,/ I put on my best I love being single smile/ kicking it flirting partying like a happily single girl should./ Bouncing around with my “I needs no man’ attitude, all the while wondering why no man in the building thinks I could be his for good./ Night comes to an end and my girls and their men wanna go eat/ I am not interested not wanting to be the only one next to an empty seat, /
I head on home ….. alone…..again…. and reverse the process of my perfected routine, kick of my shoes peel off my jeans,/ oh shit yawl hold on a second cuz hell I can finally breathe….. whooo…… /
I clean off my perfectly made up face Tie up my weave, throw on my night clothes and lay down on my couch./ and curl up in my cover, you see my Kidsare all grown and gone and my marriage long over/nobody in this big old house but little sad me. I hop on facebook to see what’s to see. Come across all my friends’ posts about the night and more specifically tagging me./ They post I am crazy and how awesome I looked, How much fun I had and how they miss being free./ If only they looked hard enough maybe they could actually see the insecure lonely woman I have grown to be./ The emptiness I feel, the hole in my life, The silence of my home,/The space in my bed, the wounds so deep you would think I was cut by a knife./ I told you this story just so u could see just how insecure and flawed a flawless woman can be. So friend and loved ones gather around so I can spill some tea, sometimes she needs you to look past the outside and see how empty she can be.

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