Gender Journey

I want to say that my gender development was something that was learned in a very blunt sort of way. It was obviously learned while I was growing up. I have two sisters so the differences between what a boy acted like and what a girl acted like were slightly blurred because I didn’t have a brother or a consistent “masculine” role model while growing up. Indeed my Dad was a great father and role model; however he worked very hard and long hours so I wasn’t able to see him all of the time. Also, if I ever had questions about anything involving gender, or sexual identity it was answered in a very vague and blunt way. For example: I would ask “Why do girls where dresses and boys don’t?” My parents would respond with “Because that’s just what girls wear”. So I guess you would say there was not that much elaborate explanation when it came to gender development in my family. It also didn’t help that every other family member outside my immediate family followed the same gender “rules” or explication of gender rules. It was a very “It is what it is” way of thinking and acting. Since my parents were dressing us kids until we were about fifteen years old or until we finally had a job in order to buy our own clothes, we were usually not in control of our gender expression.
I feel like the fact that I lived in America my whole life had something to do with my gender development. I feel like America’s media, politics, and general way of learning are very blunt or “old school” about gender identity. When I watched television shows, girls wore different clothes and acted a certain way than the boys did. Since my parents were so vague in teaching me about my gender I feel like I learned a lot about the world through movies and television and my own self-reflection.
I feel like when it came to having role models, I turned to fantasy instead of regular people.