From the moment we are born, our parents begin to identify us by our genders. The way they take care of us and the way they speak to us help others identify whether we are males or females. Many people don’t realize that the way they treat their children determine the way they think when they grow older. Even though every person is born with their own minds and their own hearts, the way they are brought up can alter the personalities of their offspring.
If a male is born, they are typically dressed in harsher colors, such as blue and gray. If a female is born, however, they are typically dressed in lighter tones, such as pink and peach. Males are told to wear loose fitting clothes, like t-shirts, loose jeans, and sneakers, while females are encouraged to wear things that appear cute, such as dresses, hairbands, and flats. Because of this, they are conditioned to believe that they are meant to wear specific types of clothing, because throughout their lives, they were told ‘girls are meant to wear this and boys are meant to wear that.’ When they grow older, they still believe that, and they heed their parents’ words. Seldom do I spot a kindergarten boy wearing a dress to school, and rarely do I see a kindergarten girl with a short haircut. Their parents are also brought up thinking that their kids are meant to look a certain way, and they pass that knowledge onto their children hoping that their grandchildren will also fit into the social norms of gender. While I do agree that parents should condition their kids to wear specific types of clothing, I still feel as though they are treating them as if they are objects that are made to play dress-up. I think that while growing up, children should be more open to ideas rather than restricted to the beliefs that only their parents go by. If their baby girl wants shorter hair, or if their baby boy wants to wear a hairclip, I think a parent should respect the things they want, because experimenting with different things opens the minds of children. I believe that broadening their minds to new ideas is better than restricting them to think a specific way. From what I’ve seen, parents tend to act a little harsher to their child if it’s a male. They’re brought up thinking that they have to be strong-minded and independent, so they’re handled more aggressively by their caretakers. When they do something wrong, I’ve noticed that parents tend to raise their voices and approach the child with harsh words, often surprising the child. They scold the child loudly in hopes that their words can make them stop behaving in such a manner. Females on the other hand, tend to be treated more softly and more gently, mainly because their parents want them to grow up ladylike and mannerly. When they do something wrong, their parents coo and encourage not acting like that again, rather than raising their voices at her for doing something that isn’t fitting for a girl. I understand why they think that girls are more sensitive and why they believe they should scold them with quiet voices, however, I don’t agree with the different ways they make their children learn. A male can be just as sensitive as a female, and it’s not fair to them if their parents are trying their hardest to make him a ‘stronger male’ by having to deal with their harsh words and tough reinforcement. If their baby girl deserves to be treated with respect, so does their baby boy. Furthermore, if their son is brought up thinking that loud voices are meant to be listened to and that they are meant to be authoritative, they might grow up yelling and screaming louder than they should be in order for their opinions and thoughts to be heard. Branching off of that thought, their children may grow up thinking that doing the things their parents taught them is considered ‘the right thing to do’ even though sometimes, the situation isn’t exactly fitting to the way they act. Their morals can be altered and the way they think can be different the way they should be thinking, because their parents taught them that acting a specific way is how they should be acting all the time, or because they mimic the way their parents acted in front of them to the people around them. Although it sounds like I’m condemning the way parents are bringing up their kids, I’m just trying to say that children can pick up the habits that they see from the people who take care of them. Whether it is right or wrong, they don’t know from an early age, so they tend to act how they see the authoritative figures of the household acting like. Their sense of morals can be thrown off based on the way they are treated ever since birth. In conclusion, through way I was raised, I believe that kids should grow up with the mindset that they are complete individuals. The way they think should be different from the way their parents think, because every single child should have a mind of their own. They shouldn’t be getting influenced by their parents’ judgments and thoughts. As for the adults, I feel like they should be more open to new ideas as well, not just their children. They should know from the experience of growing up that it’s hard to deal with people’s harsh words if they look different from the people around them, and I feel as though if every parent allows their children to stand out and have their own individual minds, then maybe in the future, social norms regarding gender and self-identity won’t be such a big issue anymore. I think that if we teach our daughters and sons that having distinct characteristics isn’t such a bad thing after all, they might be able to grow up in a society where people are more accepting and respectful of every individual’s mind.