...Roasting in Hell’s Kitchen Temper Tantrums, F Words, and the Pursuit of Perfection To Mum, from cottage pie to Humble Pie – you deserve a medal. CONTENTS foreword 1 Dad 2 Football 3 Getting Started 4 French Leave 5 Oceans Apart 6 A Room of My Own 7 War 8 The Great Walk-Out 9 The Sweet Smell of Success 10 Ronnie 11 Down Among the Women 12 Welcome to the Small Screen afterword index 7 11 39 59 87 113 127 143 157 171 203 237 251 273 279 PHOTOGRAPHIC INSERT PICTURE CREDITS ABOUT THE AUTHOR CREDITS COVER COPYRIGHT ABOUT THE PUBLISHER FOREWORD I n my hand, I’ve got a piece of paper. It’s Mum’s handwriting, and it’s a list – a very long list – of all the places we lived until I left home. I look at this list now, and there are just so many of them. My eye moves down the page, trying to take in her spidery scribble, and I soon lose track. These places mean very little to me: it’s funny how few of them I can remember. In some cases, I guess that’s because we were hardly there for more than five minutes. But in others, it’s probably more a case of trying to forget about them as soon as possible. When you’re unhappy in a place, you want to forget about it as soon as possible. You don’t dwell on the details of a house if you associate it with being afraid, or ashamed, or poor – and as a boy, I was often afraid and ashamed, and always poor. Life was a series of escapades, of moves that always ended badly. The next place was always going to be a better place – a...
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