“Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” Death is an uncontrollable aspect in life, but what about it leaves people to grieve the way they do, and affect the way they live their lives? “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” by Jonathan Safran Foer is a testament of what it means to be human, how people grieve, and how they are affected by their losses. Several characters in the book are going through some sort of grief through loss. Searching for answers that will probably never be found each of them is brought together and deal with their respective issues differently. Most of them spend years of their lives attempting to understand and find closure, but some don’t find any at all. No grief is greater than the other, no matter how miniscule some seem. It’s how they responded to the losses that defined what kind of person they are. Oskar Schell finds his own unique ways of dealing with his grief. Dealing with his issues in his own unique way, Oskar is doing his best to prevent the loss of his father from destroying his entire world. He uses the key he found, his inventions, and even self-harm to help grieve the untimely loss of his father. Using his journey to find what the key opens as way to cope with the grief of losing his father, Oskar struggles to understand why this is happening to him. One would suspect his intelligence would help play a factor in his grieving process, but it is shown that he is still very much a 9 year old kid to the core. Embarking on his journey he searches for not only what the key opens but also answers to what really happened to his dad. While searching for some sort of answer he also is extending to memory of his father. This answer however is not found and Oskar even states this when he’s says, “The whole point was to stop missing him” (Foer 255). After finding out what the key opens he can’t help but feel disappointed. He feels that he went through all of the things he did, to receive a reward in the end, but came away empty handed. Oskar stressed the importance of the key so much that one would think the key opened a door to where his father really was. Though Oskar never achieves the closure he sets out to find, he provides closure for Mr. Black and William Black. With Mr. Black he helps regain his hearing and helps provide closer for William Black, returning the key that would give the opportunity to say goodbye to his father. By helping the “Blacks” resolve their own issues; this helps Oskar with his own problems. Oskar likes to describe himself as an inventor and frequently talks about his inventions. These inventions are for the most part not physical things, but just another way of saying his thoughts. It’s evident that this is what he means when he says, “I started inventing things, and then I couldn't stop, like beavers, which I know about. People think they cut down trees so they can build dams, but in reality it's because their teeth never stop growing, and if they didn't constantly file them down by cutting through all of those trees, their teeth would start to grow into their own faces, which would kill them. That's how my brain was” (Foer 36). Oskar invents impossible things in his mind to keep himself from thinking of his father. His father's death is so traumatizing to Oskar, this is how he copes up with his grief. The thoughts of losing his father is too much to handle, it is unbearable for him, so he takes his mind off of it by distracting himself with his imagination. It’s also apparent that Oskar feels he cannot stop thinking, for it might lead to himself dying, and his father was the only one who could prevent it. Furthermore, Oskar states, “Being with him made my brain quiet. I didn’t have to invent a thing” (Foer 12). Oskar’s father use to be the only person who was able to calm his thoughts and now he had no one and for Oskar this was devastating. Feeling alone he has no one to talk to about the things on his mind. He can’t stop thinking, there is no longer anyone to quiet his brain and ease his thoughts. Keeping everything inside Oskar starts to develop many signs of being depressed.
Throughout the book Oskar seems to show signs of depression. He frequently gives himself bruises to punish himself. This self-harm is one of the ways Oskar uses to cope with the depression accompanying the loss of his father. His depression is shown when he says, “The word “Black” was written on the back of the envelope. I was so mad at myself for not noticing it before I gave myself a little bruise” (Foer 41). This self-infliction in hopes that it will help him deal with his emotional pain by distracting himself with physical pain shows Oskar's naiveté. This just shows just how immature Oskar really is. It not only help distract him it also gives him a sense of control. Having control over things is what Oskar seeks since he wasn’t able to control what happened to his dad. He reaches a point where wants to use the bruises for his moms attention. Wishing she would ask him about his bruises it’s evident that he’s looking for her acknowledgment. She is grieving in her own way but Oskar doesn’t know it. By letting him go out trying to find the mysteries of the key, she knows it’s helping Oskar find his closure.
Not only is Oskar a very intelligent kid, he is also incredibly imaginative. His imagination though serves the purpose of inventing things to downplay the grief of losing his father. An example of this is in the chapter “Googolplex” when he says “In bed that night I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York, and would connect to the reservoir. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman would report if the Reservoir of Tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York was in heavy boots” (Foer 38). Oskar suggests this because of his current feelings of sorrow. His over-the-top inventions are directly linked to his vast imagination. Using his imagination, he tries to keep his mind off the negative thoughts he has about his father’s death. Oskar is constantly thinking about ridiculous things, and this form of thinking is what he calls “inventing”. His inventions are all overambitious but they all serve the purpose of making things easier for people. Though most of Oskar’s inventions benefit him directly, he genuinely wants to invent things that benefit everyone. He wants to lighten the weight bearing down on everyone’s shoulders including his own.
Oskar frequently uses the term “heavy boots”. This is used to describe feelings of grief or sorrow. The term is helping us picture wearing boots so heavy, that every step is a real physical effort. You have to think really hard about every movement, and every movement hurts so that you can't bear to move. An example of when Oskar is in heavy boots is when his mother asks what’s wrong with him and he says he is not going to school. He tells her he’s sad about everything and starts listing things that give him heavy boots saying, “...domesticated animals, how I have a domesticated animal, nightmares, Microsoft Windows, old people who sit around all day because no one remembers to spend time with them and they’re embarrassed to ask people to spend time with them…” (Foer 42). Oskar’s boots have been especially heavy since the death of his father, but during his search he finds ways to lighten those boots. He finds that other people also have heavy boots, most of the “Blacks”, and even his mother. Even though meeting people did not give him the answers he sought for, the journey allows him to share his grief with them and become a witness to their grief as well. It was through this process that he lightens his own burdens.
Oskar’s relationship with his mother is something that is very distant. He seems to completely under appreciate the value of her and even more so after his father dies. Through his perspective, he shows he is most upset at the fact that his mother doesn’t appear to be as devastated as he is. His entire world came crashing down when his dad died and her world seemed fine. Oskar’s mother protected him without him even realizing it. She protected him by not showing how she really felt as well as kept track of him during his journey. The whole time Oskar secretly sought attention from his mother and she gave it to him; she just did it without him realizing it. Towards the end Oskar realizes what is most important. Reflecting on things he says, “I don’t believe in God, but I believe that things are extremely complicated, and her looking over me was as complicated as anything ever could be. But it was also incredibly simple. In my only life, she was my mom, and I was her son” (Foer 324). After going through everything Oskar seems to finally begin to understand his mother’s actions a little more. He learns life isn’t as overly complicated as he one once thought and through the loss of his father he is reminded that his mother is still there with him. He seems to have decided to value a life with his mom because in life anything can happen.
Grief is frequently a common feeling in the book, but what makes people grieve they do? Oskar copes with it by distracting himself to take his mind off the pain. Whether it’s giving himself bruises or inventing, he is desperate for answers and a way to get the death of his father off his mind. Finding the key and extending the memory of his dad is the way he thought he could find closure. He didn’t find closure, but found was he wasn’t the only one plagued by these kinds of feelings that left them in “heavy boots”. Through his journey he lightened his own boots by helping other people. I feel he discovered that there no such thing as getting over the loss of someone important, one can only lighten the weight of losing someone. Oskar is very intelligent for a 9 year old but no matter how bright you are, old you are, or mature you act, comprehending death is very hard to do. It’s something that affects everyone but no one reacts the same to. Oskar uses the key he found, his inventions, and even self-harm to help grieve the loss of his father. Using these methods, he does his best to deal with his struggle and find the answers he’s looking for.

Works Cited
Foer, J. S. (2005). Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. New York: Mariner Books.