She fears the loneliness after losing the one closest to her. On the one hand, she might want to remember him and keep him in mind, honoring his memory, but on the other hand, she might want to move on. She has to liberate herself from the pain and loss, if she wants to move past the overwhelming situations that she faces occasionally: seeing her father in all of his shape, after he passed away. This is the actual situation of the first person narrator in Bernie McGill's short story ”No Angel”, which was written in 2010.
Throughout this contemporary story, we hear about a woman named Annie, dealing with the loss of her father. Not only has she lost her father, but also her brother, who died as a teenager 23 years ago, and her mom, who died just a few months after. Annie lives alone now, and is having a tough time. With no family of her own to depend on, she is literally on her own, all the way up in distant Northern Ireland.
The plot of the short story involves Annie meeting her father after his death, through different occasions. These supernatural occasions are divided into sections throughout the story, which is reflective of the distinctive composition. Instead of a coherent text, which normally characterizes the short story, there are different sections each consisting of a supernatural experience, which Annie, the narrator, experiences. The story jumps in time, from one occasion to another, which gives the story a special touch of its own. Some on the text is told in streams of consciousness, and because of this, the chronological order has been unregulated. It starts in media res, in the middle of an important event.
The first time Annie sees her father after his death, is while showering, two weeks after his funeral. As he is standing with his back to her, with the tap running, Annie thinks to herself; "His things were all where he'd left them.", which might be a sign that Annie has a hard time letting go, in the sense that she still wants him to be present and that she has a hard time accepting that he cannot be with her.
The next time Annie sees her father is on a train bound for Belfast. She sees his face skimming over the fields outside the window. Annie, with her very specific narrative voice, makes her father sound like a true Irishman. She grew up with him teaching her how to go through life in the best way possible. He is reflected in what she grew up with, and that is the reason why she sees him in the fields of the distant Northern Irish nature, where she was taught about life.
The third time Annie sees him, is when a man called Thomas invites Annie over during the Christmas week. During dinner with Thomas and his parents, Annie sees her father yet again, this time by a bus shelter on the far side of the road. The father does not like the man that Annie is seeing. He says; "He'll never set foot on my farm." This might identify the father with a stereotypical Irish farmer, that wants to protect his family and his land. This particular background affects Annie to do what she does, as she wants to protect the values of her father and the rest of her family, even though they are not with her any longer. After the incident, it turns out that Annie and Thomas are not together any longer. Apparently her father left too big an impression.
Afterwards we get a sense that Annie's family was not as picture perfect as expected. Her brother Robbie was not the son that her father wanted him to be. Different from his father, Robbie was loud and drank too much. At the age of 17, he was found dead on the road, where he had been hit by a car, after being beaten to death. After the incident, we are told that their mother ”dropped like a stone”and never spoke again. It was a complicated situation for her family, which probably left a mark.
The last scene of the short story is an evening at the Opera House, where the father suddenly takes place next to Annie. He is apparently keeping an eye on Robbie, Annie's brother, sitting on the row behind them. Then they notice their mother on one of the front rows. They found each other, all four of them. A reunion in Annie's head. She says; ”I'll see you, then,”, and Robbie answers; ”You know where we are.” This can be interpreted as a sign, that they are always there for her, as Annie never seems to let go. She lives in her mind, and cannot let go of the fact that her family is gone, even though every other commitment she tries to make, never seems to work; just like her relationship with Thomas.
Through this you can point out, that the title "No Angel" definitely has something to say when interpreting the story. There is no angel involved. Annie is a lonely girl, living in a world distant from others, because she sticks to the past, not wanting to let go. Her father is no angel. He is not a saint watching over her. Since she cannot let her father go, he ruins what else is surrounding her, that actually could be a step in the right direction, wanting to let go of the thought of her father, brother and mother. She simply cannot live her life as expected, with such a large burden on her shoulders. The point of this story is that what is keeping her from enjoying life, are those ”supernatural events” that are not as magical as they seem to be, since it is all happening in her mind. It is not her father's presence that is haunting her: it is the values and norms that she grew up with that are circulating inside of her head, not knowing what else to do with life. Annie's father does not act like an angel, but more like a ghost haunting her and her consciousness.
