In life we perform various actions of which before performing we do not think the consequences of; it is only after experiencing the effects of it that we are able to highlight the causes. People behave the way the way they do because of their past, their past experiences in life, how they were treated, and what events occurred in their life, what paths and methods they were influenced or forced to chose. All these can be causes for a person behaving or acting the way he does. Same is the case with me. I did not realize the actions I did were good or bad until I saw the side effects of them.
The side effects were evident through the different events that occurred in my life later on. The realization came to me only after experiencing those events. The realization was a gradual process.(transition) Few months back I got admission in IBA, in the field of BBA. It is considered to be one of the top universities for bachelors in business administration in Pakistan. In the first couple of weeks everything sailed smoothly, and I thought I was on top of the world. But as the saying goes, everything that goes up must come down, and so I to had a downfall. As time passed on I noticed and felt something strange. Every day I used to have that same feeling. It was as if I was lacking in something, maybe it was that I could not fit with my mates, or not enjoying the university life. For about a weak I could not figure out what had went wrong, and what I should do. But the day finally arrived, the day on which I came to know the real reason behind it. It was a Friday like any other normal Friday, 8:30 in the morning, and I was sitting in my philosophy class half asleep as usual. The teacher was giving her typical philosophical views about the world, as if I had fewer problems in my life already. She finished her lecture, and told the class that she will be awarding the class participation marks today, which comprised of 10 points of the total grade. She started calling out names, and awarding the marks. Suddenly I heard my name being called out, in a drowsy way I acknowledged my presence, and then she said: “Mashad I am sorry, but I have never heard you participate in class discussions, so I will have to award you zero”. At this very instant I realized what I was lacking, and what had gone wrong. I realized that I could not speak fluently in public when addressing to them, and when I tried I hesitated, and made mistakes. This had shattered my confidence to the point that I was now afraid of even trying, and hence even if I thought of something I could not get the words out of my mouth. On the other hand, many other students in my class used to take active part in class discussions, and were fluent and confident in whatever they said. I realized that not only would I get low class participation marks, but when I would go into the cooperate world I would be miles behind the rest, as in business charisma matters a lot. So, how come the other students are so fluent as compared to me? To answer this question I would have to look back into my past, look at my past experiences, and try to learn from them, that how they have influenced me to be the person I am today.
Looking back into my past, I realized that there were a lot of things that have had influence on my life, and in one of these I found the answer I was looking for earlier. Back in the day when I was in school I used to be conservative in a sense that I did not participate in discussions, and kept my opinions to myself. I was not fluent in English, and was very poor at voicing something or even reading from the book, because I made a lot of mistakes. The fear of making mistakes had held my back, I was afraid people were going to laugh at me. Consequently I refrained from participating in debates and discussions. I never participated in any Model United Nations conferences or debating competitions. At that point in time I did not realize its importance, because I had opted pre-engineering, and public speaking skills did not count for much in that field. It was when I got admitted in IBA that I came to realize the huge mistake I had made. I realized that the fear which held me back was my downfall; I never tried to learn, and become a better public speaker. It was the learning process in which I never bothered to participate. People were supposed to laugh at me so that I try harder, and become a better public speaker, and build confidence. Those MUNs and debates were there for me to learn from not run away from.
Now I cannot afford to run away. In the near future I will have to find a solution to this problem, to have any hope of flourish in the cooperate world. The public speaking society within IBA offers training sessions, which I will have to take consistently, and next semester when I have the opportunity to select my courses, I will make sure that one of the courses I opt for is speech communications which will help my train how to give speeches, and communicate with others.
In conclusion I would say I have certainly learned my lesson, and would try to be a little more open minded towards the world, and also opt for extracurricular activities outside the scope of my field, because life Is unpredictable, and you never know where you might end up. In life one can never stop learning from their mistakes, and that is why we should ponder over the things we did in life, good or bad, and try to analyze them, and learn from them.