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Holocaust

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It was a very cold morning. I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was a young, handsome man who was barely twenty. She was a petite brunette, with skin as pale as snow and a smile that could light up an entire room. Her name was Rachel. We met one night at a tavern in Hamburg, the year was 1932. I was out boozing with some of my fellow officers. When she walked in, I immediately couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I felt inclined to speak to her, but when I had the opportunity, I couldn’t. Actual words didn’t come out of my mouth, just sounds. She starred at me peculiarly before walking off to chat with one of my friends. I was extremely frustrated and jealous- which sounds ridiculous. How could I be jealous when I didn’t even know the girl? But for some reason, I just could not look away. I walked right up to her and introduced myself (again).
“My name is Rachel,” she replied flatly.
I bought her a drink and we started to talk. Women like being asked a lot of questions about themselves, so that’s what I did. After a few more hours, I knew there was a definite connection between us. I could feel it, and I know she did too. We left the bar at closing hour and walked towards a local park. I learned she was the eldest of five sisters, her father was a successful banker, who was interested in marrying his daughters off well suited gentlemen. “He is extremely old fashioned,” she says. We ended up in each other’s arms and talking until dawn. That morning I knew I was going to marry that girl, but before that dream could become a reality I realized that I had no idea where she lived in Hamburg. Heartbroken, I spent weeks trying to find her, but no luck. I never thought I was going to see Rachel again. I was wrong.
It was May of 1944. I was thirty-two years old. Married to a woman I couldn’t stand, but I loved my children. I really did. I was serving Adolf Hitler in the Nazi Army. I never thought in a million years that Hitler’s hate for the Jewish population would have gone this far. Even though I hated myself for it, I was bound by my duty to my country. I also wanted to protect my family. On May 16, 1944 100,000 Jews arrived to Auschwitz from Hungary. It was hot day and I was performing my usual duties, patrolling the grounds and staying as far away from the gas chambers as possible, as the thought of them disgusted me. Though as I was patrolling, I recognized a familiar face. Though she was much thinner, her face sunken in and her feet dirty- I will never forgot those eyes, those big brown almond shaped eyes. It was Rachel- the girl I met twelve years prior. Rachel was a Jew. My heart sunk because I knew she only had one fate. She was going to die, and I was going to play a part in it. That following day I was on the night shift, I knew Rachel didn’t have much time, so it was my goal to help her escape the camp. I found her quarters and bombarded in, making it seem like I was in need of their services. I grabbed her and dragged her to another small cabin, one I knew we wouldn’t be seen in. For a minute, she didn’t recognize me. She tried to scream but I covered her mouth before she could. None of the other Nazi soldiers would suspect anything, as a lot of them indulged themselves in Jewish women. Then I told her who I was and she looked at me with bright big eyes and said
“Are you going to hurt me?” Tears were pouring out of her eyes.
“Never,” I said. “I have been trying to find you for years, now here you are.” My voice was shaking.
I loved this woman. I always have, and now she was going to be taken from me. All I wanted to do was protect her and hold her. She told me her husband and child were both already gone, as were her sisters and parents. She was the only one left. It was clear that she hadn’t eaten in days so I fed her. We spent the entire night talking about how our lives would have been different if we had found each other again. I told her that I was going to get her out of the camp, even if it was the last thing I’d ever do. The next night, I went into her quarters again and summoned her. I gave her key to the guard’s exit, and arranged to a car to take her away…somewhere where she could be safe. I thought everything was going to go smoothly, until she was caught. One of the guards was late, and happened to be entering just as Rachel was trying to leave. He looked at me, as I was close by and said “This one is trying to leave. Gas her. Now.”
I was at a loss for words. Deep down inside of me I knew there was a chance Rachel could die, but I never thought I would be the one to do it. I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. I couldn’t kill the woman I loved just because she was Jewish. I was running out of time. “Do it now, stop standing around here!” The soldier snapped again. He threw her into the mud at my feet.
But I could lose my family, my children…I can’t risk that. Tears started pouring down my face as I threw Rachel into the chamber and said goodbye. She looked at me with wide eyes and begged me not to. It was my duty. It was my country. My family was on the line…but I loved her. I just couldn’t do it. “For God’s sake I’ll do it!” said the soldier, pushing me out of the way.
Then just like that, Rachel, the love of my life was gone and it was my fault. I choose duty over love. I could have stopped it, if I really wanted to. On May 24, 1944 a part of me died too.

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