Premium Essay

Horoscopes

In:

Submitted By Sikkk
Words 4014
Pages 17
HOROSCOPES
Aries (Mar. 21- April 19) : Aries have ramlike eyebrows and smug expressions. They should not be quite so smug because they are constantly clunking themselves in the skull. Cat Stevens' "Hard Headed Woman" was probably an Aries. Aries rarely say one thing and do another. They usually do the wrong thing and don't discuss it. Never point this out to an Aries unless you want your kidneys pulled out through your sinuses. Aries folks love Pisceans because Pisces people make them feel well-grounded. Aries love to laugh at the funny moon-people who suck their thumbs at age 35. Aries use guns to describe philosophical concepts. Whether you live in a palatial estate or a cardboard tepee, you will insist until death that it is exactly what you always wanted. Most Aries were concrete parking bumpers in at least two of their past lives. Aries are never born. They skip gaily from their mothers' wombs. This may even involve rollerblades. The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for funnies but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or crippling injury. Being infallible, God is probably an Aries. This would make Satan an Aquarius. Aries always hold management positions. If one is assigned to clean toilets, he will form a one-man union. Then he will go and picket in the parking lot. All of you think you're Lech Walesa. People run away when an Aries comes around. They know that if they do not, the Aries will set them on fire. Aries hate listening to Scorpios talk because they take pride in being even more self-centered. In fact, much to the Scorpios' dismay, you are the biggest pricks in the zodiac. Your rams' horns are in everyone else's asses.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) You are brooding emotion incarnate. One minute you're up, the next you're down, the next you've shot your favorite newscaster in the

Similar Documents

Free Essay

Asdasd

...minutes ago via CastleVille Bryan Glomel Sorongon Silverio Astrology - Today's Libra Horoscope Here is your Today's Libra Horoscope If you've decided to make a change, you'll move so fast that you'll probably scare your friends. But when has that ever stopped you? If anyone marches to the beat of their own drummer, it's you. Why stop now? Compatibility: See More Mood: Aggressive Lucky Color: Peach ... See More Like · · Get Your Horoscope · 20 hours ago via Astrology Bryan Glomel Sorongon Silverio Libra - Horoscope for January 14 At the moment you have come to a complete dead end. Nothing seems to be progressing and you are tempted to throw in the towel. Consider such moment...  : read more   : see tomorrow's horoscope    : see today's compatibility Like · · Get your horoscope · 20 hours ago via Horoscopes Bryan Glomel Sorongon Silverio Astrology - Today's Libra Horoscope Here is your Today's Libra Horoscope A loved one is about to call on you for help, or a sympathetic ear, at the very least. If they've recently split up with someone, plan a distraction. Spend the evening out. Compatibility: See More Mood: Thoughtful Lucky Color: Brown ... See More Like · · Get Your Horoscope · Friday at 8:48pm via Astrology Bryan Glomel Sorongon Silverio Libra - Horoscope for January 13 Your goal is once more further from your grasp, thanks to a change in circumstances...

Words: 374 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

A Literature Survey on Entrepreneurs and Entrepreneurship

...BUSINESS SUCCESS REPORT—FOR ENTREPRENEUR Name Date of Birth Time of Birth Place of Birth XYZ mm/dd/yyyy 12:00:00 AM City, Country Preamble: As per your input, you have a business of producing Sewing thread tubes/cones which you market under your brand name, which was incorporated on 7/16/2008. At present you buy dyed yarn from the market and simple package them as tubes/cones for your customers. Like all Gujrati entrepreneurs, Mr. Dhirubhai Ambani is the role model and you have a dream to set up your own polyester manufacturing mill. In the process, you also dream that one day, you will have a net worth of 100 cores of rupees. In this report, we will first analyze whether you have the potential to realize this dream in your life astrologically as per your natal chart. We will also analyze the astrological signatures for next 5 years w.r.t your natal chart and transit of each planet through your natal chart, to capture the potential ups and downs in your business during next 5 years. A) Basic Astrological Parameters: Your Birth Chart: The important parameters in your birth chart: Your Ascendant: Aquarius Your Sun-Sign: Libra Your Moon-Sign: Gemini Exalted Planet: Rahu & Ketu Debilitated Planet: Sun Retrograde Planet: Saturn Natal status of each of the planets in your chart: We have listed above the natal promise of all the 9 Vedic planets in the chart based on their status in the chart. There are likely to be lot of contradictions about their significance in different aspects...

Words: 8422 - Pages: 34

Free Essay

Horoscope

...You are in a very lucky phase, for Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck, is still in Gemini for the first time since mid-2000 to mid-2001. Back in those years, Saturn was not in a friendly angle to Jupiter, and so Saturn severely limited Jupiter's benefits. You have a far brighter picture now, so there's no end to how high you can fly. Right now, Jupiter has been retrograde since October 5, so it is sliding backward toward the beginning degrees of Gemini. Actually this is good, as Jupiter will be intent on coming back to give more benefits to Gemini with birthdays that fall in May up to June 6. (As you see, there are times a retrograde planet can be quite beneficial.) Jupiter will turn direct on January 30, so at that time, Jupiter will be even stronger than it is now. If you feel life has been fortunate for you recently, imagine how much more fortunate you will be later when Jupiter moves direct! This planet of goodness will remain in your sign until June 25, 2013, so you have many wonderful days ahead! Speaking of wonder days, there was a lunar full moon eclipse late last month November 28, in Gemini 7 degrees, and it appeared very close to Jupiter. If your birthday falls within five days of May 27, you were in line for double the luck at eclipse time, and this is also true if you have a natal planet at 7 degrees (plus or minus five degrees) of Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius. That new moon eclipse likely illuminated a path ahead by giving you very...

Words: 2599 - Pages: 11

Premium Essay

Analyse Why People Check Their Horoscopes

...The example which is going to be discussed within this essay is astrology and how horoscopes, star signs and other concepts within this affect our lives today and how people respond to them. The meaning of astrology is ‘’the ancient art or science of divining fate and future of human beings from indications and positions of the stars and other heavenly bodies’’ (Encyclopaedia Britannia, vol. 2, p. 575, 1956). Psychology helps to analyse why people check their horoscopes, why they believe in it and how they respond. The birth of psychology was when the Babylonians, they created an astrological chart which meant they could then predict when the seasons would come and also when meteor showers, comets, solar and lunar eclipses occur. Later on...

Words: 1331 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Banking Officer

...What is a Horoscope? The Horoscope which is also known as “the Rising”, determines the way you look to others as a first impression, and the way others see you. It also determines the way or authority that you prefer to show to others. The “Horoscope” is not what you are the wellbeing, but the reality the way you act and perform. The “Horoscope” reflects your image, manner and the way you act. If the horoscope is the same as your Astronomical Horoscope, the image which people see is totally different than the reality which exists in you. The horoscope determines the external characteristics for generations more than determining the particular characteristics for each Astronomical Horoscope separately. There are some people whose Astronomical horoscope match with their horoscope, this depends on the time of birth, on the other side other people’s Horoscope and Astronomical Horoscope differs. This is one of the reasons which explain the difference in mood of the people of the same astronomical Horoscope. The “Horoscope” determines the external appearance for the person. Some considered it as the mask which we wear when we meet someone of them. The latter shows our natural defend and the way we solve the life’s daily situations. Moreover the power and abilities of the astronomical Horoscope are clearer with respect to others. The Horoscope shows clearly the First natural reaction of the person toward others and the different situation and conditions. You can determine your...

Words: 304 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Falsity Of Astrology

...Astrology, though claiming truth, reveals its own falsity. First of all, astrology claims that each horoscope specifies only for a specific person. Just as Mr. Smit realized, however, Mrs. Johnson’s horoscope identifies not only with Mrs. Johnson, but also with Mrs. Petersen (Smit). Just based on this, how can horoscopes explain a person’s life if they explain many people’s lives? A French researcher conducted a study in order to show that people take what they deem true from the readings of horoscopes. He advertised a free horoscope reading in a newspaper. Over 150 people, unaware of the study, asked for a reading of their horoscopes. After the people received their readings back, ninety-four percent who responded stated that they could picture...

Words: 714 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

History of the Zodia

...10/26/12 Sign Compatibility: Aries And Leo Sign Compatibility: Aries-Leo H ow c ompatible are A ries and L eo Sun s igns in a relations hip? Sign Compatibility Aries-Leo Why Men Pull Away C atchHim AndKe e pHim .com 10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Ruins Any Chances Of A Relationship What's Your Zodiac Match? Aries sign compatibility with Leo Aries and Leo. Twin Fires... A sensational meeting between soulmates, full of power, energy and force. If you found a Leo, remember that his/her personality seems to have been created to match yours. You will never miss bold ideas, conversation and adventures. The Lion has a great heart that will fascinate you, and an inclination towards theatricalism that will always make you laugh (what Aries wouldn't yield to this strong argument?) You are both Fire signs, so you will always discover new things together, you will create or initiate projects. You want the same things, so you will get them much easier together. Leo is a very romantic sign (s)he symbolizes the celestial man's heart - so your Leo will have many, many adorable surprises for you. Get ready to go to the most famous restaurants because Leo likes going out, showing him/herself, frequenting refined and elegant places. Leo also likes being dressed-up and manages to look good no matter what (s)he is wearing, so you'd better put on your best clothes and give up jeans and T-shirts, dear Aries. The male Leo is a courteous man and the female Leo, a femme fatale...

Words: 766 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Astrology: Imprecision We Trust

...To do this, we need fundamentals within astrology that are measurable and comparable to test for validity. When reading through articles written by different astrologers, gravity and electromagnetism seem to be major topics that are said to be behind the bizarre beliefs of astrology and horoscopes. Nadia Smirnova-Mierau, a large advocate for astrology, claims that, “gravitational and electromagnetic forces provide the mechanism, by which celestial and terrestrial events are synchronized” (Gravity and Magnetism). While most people would hear this and assume that Mierau was correct in her statement, we must dive further into this topic to test for any legitimacy. Astrologist’s main point of discussion is that the position of the starts creates different characteristics based on their gravity that influences us every day. Although many people would easily accept this view as truth, American astronomer Phil Plait claims that, “The bottom line is that at best, the gravity from the planets in our solar system is a tiny fraction of the...

Words: 890 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Indian Culture

...Indian Culture Abstract India is located in continent Asia. It is Federal republic government. Its official language is Hindi and there are 14 other languages e.g. Bengali, Telugu, Marathi, Tamil, Urdu and Punjabi. The major religion that is follow by majority of people is Hinduism. In India people speaks different languages, dress differently, follow different religions, eat different food but they all have the same nature. Whether it is a happy occasion or a moment of sadness people participate in it with feeling of happiness or pain. A festival or a celebration is never constrained to a family or home. They whole community or neighborhood is involved in bringing a joy to an occasion. In India people consider guests as a gift from god. They give much respect to guest and welcome them with open heart. Indian people look afterward for each other in every occasion. They live with love and peace. Religion There are three main religions in India; Buddhism, Hinduism, and Sikhism. Buddhism is follow by 307 million people. Buddhists believe in Buddha as a spiritual being. According to the teachings of Buddha, we learn that there is nothing in self and that we only suffer and gain agony by going towards something that is not permanent. A Buddha is free from greed, hatred and ignorance, and characterized by wisdom, compassion and freedom. Hinduism...

Words: 973 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Presentation

...10 Feature Concepts Muve Music • Music Basic (Features to be included in all concepts) • • • • • Get Music My Music Shazam My Dj Get Social Concept # 1 - Music DJ • Features – Actual Mixing Software – Social community to upload/share mixes • Benefits – Instant DJ at parties – Ability to record and save music mixes anywhere – Thousands of music to mix with music library – Upload and share mixes – Get real time comments/reviews from other users • Possible Partners • Mix DJ Pro • Virtual DJ • DJ Control Concept # 2- Music with Video • Features – Video • Benefits – Music Video Content – New Content Preview (Music and Movies) – Infotainment – Advertisement • Potential Partners – Vevo • 45,000 videos available • 57.8 million unique visitors – MTV – The Beat Concept # 3 - Music Artist Interaction • Features – – – – – Artist Fan-sites Artist Forums Tour Schedules Exclusive Interviews Exclusive Photos • Benefits – Get to know the artists better – Access to photos and interviews instantly – Get artists to answer some of the questions – Peak into the artist’s lives • Possible Partners – – – – – Artist Websites MTV News Billboard Form-spring Facebook Concept # 4- Music Info • Features – Lyrics – Song Information – Genre history • Benefits – Listen to any music with lyrics – Share lyrics from your favorite songs with your network of friends – View and edit detailed tag info for artists, albums, genre and songs –...

Words: 1113 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Zodiac Vs Astrology

...Astrology: Everyone’s Favorite Pseudoscience Astrology is an uber popular form of divination, but why is it held with such high regard? Every newspaper has its own horoscope section, and there are even books dedicated to predicting every day of the year for each member of the zodiac. The Internet is filled with memes depicting the zodiac, but do people really believe that the position of the moon and stars during your birth affected their personality? Astrology is the most popular pseudoscience, that is to say that it is complete nonsense. The first argument against astrology is that it is not completely honest about its biggest factor, the zodiac. Even though astrology is difficult to stomach, almost everyone knows their star sign among the twelve. However, there are actually thirteen members of the zodiac. Ophiuchus was forgotten long ago by astrologers, and is now being debated again. This sign was thrown out thousands of years ago because astrologers of the time did not want to add Ophiuchus because the sun is only in this constellation for nineteen days. Nowadays, astrologers refuse to add him to the zodiac because acknowledging Ophiuchus would mess up the...

Words: 606 - Pages: 3

Premium Essay

Reaserch Paper

...Ho Chi Minh City University of Foreign Languages and Information Technology Department of International Relations 155 Su Van Hanh Street, District 10, Ho Chi Minh City U&P Group - Class PR0903 Email (date) Mr./Mrs. (Company) Address Dear Sir/Madam U&P Group is pleased to inform you that we are organizing the Zodiac Night under the theme of horoscope party which is scheduled to take place from May 20th, 2012 at 5th Floor of HUFLIT. We are, therefore, writing this letter to respectfully request your consideration of support in sponsoring the Zodiac Night. Horoscope is the hot topic among HUFLIT students right now. Through the signs, people find themselves in their essential personality, love or friendship comparability. That inspired us to create a new kind of playground for students of Department of International Relations. The Zodiac Night includes games, a mini show-case, a music show and a tea break under the Western horoscope theme of 4 main groups of zodiac: Fire, Air, Water, and Earth. This event will be able to bring about 120 people together who would be very potential customers for your company. We welcome donations of any amount or value, including product or services. If you choose to sponsor a budget package of 5,000,000 VND, your business logo will appear on all game stalls and the banners, standee of the event. We are confident that after you review the detailed plan, you will come to the realization that supporting us is a quite...

Words: 280 - Pages: 2

Premium Essay

Psy/220 Week 2 Individual Assignment

...According to the DIS behavioral style blends I am "I / S" or "S / I" C/I/S’ type you think people expect you to be both inspiring and submissive. You tend to be more people-oriented than task-oriented. You feel others want you to be active and outgoing in crowds, but passive and reserved in small groups or with individuals. People expect you to be more relational than functional or project-oriented. You seem to enjoy talking to others as opposed to being by yourself and completing tasks. You don't feel people want you to take charge or spend most of your time researching how to improve things. You don't seem to focus on the details as much as you do on how others feel. You think people expect you to improve a crowd's enthusiasm or an individual's...

Words: 566 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Ladies Home Journal

...In the magazine, ‘Ladies Home Journal’, there is an advertisement of an actress/comedian named Ellen DeGeneres. Her face is glowing with a beautiful smile on her face and is also wearing an all-black suit. The picture shows her whole body, not just her face is showing. Instead of standing, Ellen is leaning against a white chair with her arm holding her up. Her legs are crossed over, so she is standing in a diagonal position. To make Ellen stand out, the author had a white background so the audience can focus on her. In the middle of the picture, on the left side, there is big purple writing that reads, “I like prunes. But I don’t want to look like one.” And on the bottom of the page, in small black writing it reads, “Ellen DeGeneres looks simply amazing in Ivory foundation.” The purpose of this advertisement is to not look like a prune. The author wanted to show his audience that their products will guarantee less wrinkles and won’t look like a prune. The message of this advertisement is to buy the Cover Girl Wrinkle Cover-Up foundation and the prune like skin will be nice and smooth. The author’s audiences are women who are between the ages of 40 and over. As women get older, they become more insecure about their looks. Wrinkles begin to show and then become more and more visible for all to see, that’s not okay. In today’s society, being young and looking young is one of the top trends for older woman. Women continue to find ways to look younger so either their spouse won’t...

Words: 925 - Pages: 4

Premium Essay

Julius Caesar Research Assignment

...The Tragedy of Julius Caesar Research Assignment In the time of Julius Caesar, Romans held the idea of suicide as a moral sin, but it could also be a heroic act. The idea was inconstant, to some it could have meant despair and shame, but to others it was meant as noble and brave. If a suicide was seen as a sin, there was a possibility that there would be no burial for the person that commited suicide. If they decide to bury them, they will be buried at crossroads because they don’t think they deserve to be buried at a sacred grounds. I believe that the choices you make can control your future. If you make a bad decision, you can expect to have a consequence in the future. I am kind of superstitious, but I don’t live by what everything says....

Words: 452 - Pages: 2