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How Has Violence Affected Me?

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Submitted By marir3
Words 3211
Pages 13
CD 177
November 27’09
How has violence affected me? When we were told at the beginning of this semester that we were going to write a paper on how has violence has affected us to be honest I was okay with that even though I don’t like writing essays, but when you gave more details about the paper I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this paper. I didn’t think I was prepared to let go a big part of my past; a horrible past. When I made the decision to stay in this course I knew it was time to let go to the horrible things I had to go through as a child and teenager. I know that when you write or speak about your experiences it helps you but for some reason even though it’s a healthy thing to do it’s so difficult for me to express, tell, speak of what has happened to me. Big part of me I guess is scared, full of shame; I know, I know you mentioned it in class that there’s no reason for us to feel this way but at least I do. I feel embarrassed and I guess I do care about what others have to say about me.
My story goes like this….
You see my grandfather used to live with us and he was the one that used to take care of us, feed us take us and pick us up from school. He was like a father to me. To this point I still don’t know if it really happened or if it just part of my imagination. When my grandpa molested me I was like 3-4 years old. This is why I am not sure if it really happened or not. The image that I have is that my grandpa and I were watching television in the living room and I remember sitting on his lap. He started playing with me; tickling me. He made everything as a game; he pointed to places in my body and asked me if it hurt. Until he reached my vagina and I remember him asking me if I was itching in my vagina and he started touching, rubbing with his hands my vagina. That’s all I can remember I don’t know what else did he do at that moment or how

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