A very good morning to our teachers, parents, guardians and students. It gives me great pleasure to join you here today for our Open Day in this year. On this glorious morning, I, XXX the founder of Brainy Montessori , I am going to give a talk on “What Does It Take To Be A Good Parent?”. In my speech, I am going to share with you some characteristics of a good parent.

According to Oxford Dictionary, parent define as a person who is a father or mother or a person who has a child. Parent also define as to be or act as a mother or father to someone. Another definition of parent is an animal or plant that produces a young animal or plant and also define as something out of which another thing has developed. Good in other hand define in Oxford Dictionary as having the required qualities, of a high standard, possessing or displaying moral virtue, and also that which is morally right. Therefore for me, good parent is someone refer to father or mother who loves their children unconditionally, communicates openly with their children, is involved in their children lives as much as they can be, someone who is there for them when they need someone, some one who teaches good morals and values, someone who shows them right from wrong, strict but not too strict. Parenting is a lifelong journey. As parents, we have an important responsibility. Every parent wants to be a good parent and role model for our children. But to be a good parent is not easy. It is a journey of trial and error, continuous learning and growing together with your child.

Parents,

Parents should have good moral character, because they are the role models of children. It has been known that children are the reflection of their parent’s character. Practicing what you said is an effective method of parenting. Your child is constantly watching you for action on how to behave. For instance, acting out in anger could teach your child the wrong way to deal with his emotions. If you find yourself unable to control your anger when your child has misbehaved, walk away for a minute. After you have calmed down, you can react in a more composed manner. Another examples, my parents do not smoke. They express good action in all their actions. They taught us how to respect to elders, and be sensitive to other people’s feelings all the time. They have been my idol all my life, because they were able to raised six children so well and none of us went astray.

Parents need to be active participants in the life of their child. Your child learns by watching you, so be aware of what your do. Embrace your parenting job with enthusiasm, compassion and a sense of humor. Take the time to know your child’s personality and parent your child based on his or her strengths and weaknesses, according to family relationship expert, Dr. Gary Smalley. Spend time with each child individually. Try to divide your time equally if you have more than one child. Listen and respect your child and respect what they want to do with their life. Set aside a day to go to a park, theme parks, museum or library depending on their interests. You can also attend school functions, do homework with them and visit their teacher at open house to get a sense of how they are doing in school. If your child is loyal, consistent and compliant because he or she wants your approval, a disapproving look or soft word could rectify a misstep. A gritty, take charge and independent child, however requires more discipline. It happen to my second child, he is a very independent boy at age 2, eat by himself, never cry when he walks and fell, but very active in exploring new area and thing. Sometimes, i do not have enough hands to handle him, so in this I have to be an active participant to discipline him.

Next characteristic to be a good parent that I want to share, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. A good parent know how to listen, more than talk. Sometimes, all a child needs is a listening ear, a place to talk things out, and for the parent to put themselves in the child’s shoes, instead of solve problems for him or her. A parent will have better chance of hearing what their child is really saying if they willing to tune into their childs’s words, tone of voice, and body language. My first daughter, still cannot speak very clear at her age of 3. What I do is I try to understand and listen what she want to express to me in her own language. It is very challenging situation indeed, when what I interpret from what she saying or trying to express is not same as what she really means. Sometimes, it hurts when she cry if I don not understand what she was try to talk or share. But I never give up, I try harder to understand what she want to tell me by spending more time playing and talking empathically with her. Now, I am bit relief when I can understand much better what she trying to say such as changing my favorite TV channel to her favorite cartoon channel. Thus, empathic listening sets the stage for open communication and can go a long way in enhancing the parent-child relationship.

Patience is another characteristic parent must have. Patience define as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. Although children behavior gets out of hand sometimes due to certain issues like mood, parents apply extra mile of patience to comfort them with love and care. You also must control your temper as much as you can. It is important to try to be as calm and reasonable as you can when you explain your rules or carry them out. This is to unsure your children to take you seriously, not fear you or think of you as unstable. Clearly, this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you up the wall, but if your feel yourself getting ready to rais your voice, take a break and excuse yourself before your finish talking to your children. Sometimes, we all lose our tempers and feel out of control, it undeniable. You should apologize to your children, letting them know that you have made a mistake, if you do or say something you regret. If you act like the bad behavior is normal, then they will try to mimic it. Therefore, you should increase, level of patience in yourself in order to be a good parent.

Praising your children is an vast part of being a good parent as well. This is to let your kids feel proud of their achievements and good about themselves. They would not feel empowered to be independent or adventurous if you do not give them the confidence they need to be out in the world on their own. Whenever they do something good or reach new achievement, let them know that you have noticed and proud of them. You can say buy them a present, or cook their favorite meals. Try to praise your children at least three times as much your give them negative feedback. Though it is important to tell your children when they are doing something wrong, it is also important to help them build a positive sense of self. If you have babies, who still young to fully understand, praise them with treats, applause, and lots of love. With this, they will feel precious.

Each child has it own unique identity. To be a good parent, you have to avoid comparing your children to other, especially among the siblings. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child a belief that you are less worthy or important than other people, an imagination that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them improve their attitude, talk about meeting their aim on their own way, instead of telling them to act like their sister, cousins or friends. This will help them develop a sense of self instead of having a belief that you are less worthy. Comparing one child to another can also make one child develop a competing with his or her sibling. You have to nurture a loving relationship between your children, not a competitive one. If they arguing, do not choose sides, be fair and natural. I believe, some of parents have their favorite child. Please, from now on, you have to stop this favoritism. I want to share with you about this, my mother used to have her favorite son, my second brother. She cook special meals for him every day and even give him the best plate compare to us. My mother is so lucky, we never ask or get jealous about it, however when some relatives see it, and talk about it, she become to realize slowly. Now her favorite is not staying anymore with her, the not favorite ones take care of her. When we all grown up now, we sometimes like to recall about how much her put more attention on my second brother, she will apologize to us, then we just giggles and love her even more.

Another major characteristic that a good parent have is being a positive role model. If you want your child to be in well manner, then you should model the behavior and character you hope your children will adopt and continue to live by the rules that you set. A positive role model shows and presents a healthy lifestyle that involves exercise, nature, art and self-expression.They are wise in their words and actions. They strive to express their wants in a positive manner. A positive role model are not afraid to say they made a mistake and they are open to criticism on how they can do things better. They do not blame others, nor do they shows themselves as a victim. They teach the concept of acceptance by using everything for their upliftment, advantages and growth. They basically present the concept of cause and effect so the child can learn through its experiences what is effective, and what is not effective. Since they know they are more than just a mother or a father, they take time to nurture and care for themselves so they can give from their overflow.
Children have a tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a deliberate and concerted effort to break the mold. You do not have to be a perfect person, but you should strive to do as you want your children to do, so you do not look sanctimonious if you tell your children to be polite to others when they find you getting in a heated argument. It is perfectly okay to make mistakes, but you should apologize or let your child know that the behavior is not good. You can say something like, "Mommy didn't mean to yell at you.” This is better than forgetting that you made a mistake, because that will show the child that he or she should model this behavior. Educate kids about chores by setting a schedule and having them help you out. Do not tell your child to do something, but ask for their help. The earlier they learn to help you, the longer they will be willing to.If you want your son or daughter to learn to share, set a good example and share your things with them.

Parents,

Another characteristic to be a good parent is respect. Respect define as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Respect also means due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others. A good parent is respectful to their child, even when disciplining. Children first learn respectful behaviors from their parents or guardians, so a child who is consistently treated respectfully by parent is more likely to develop a good self-respect, and a respect for others, including their parent. Parents should keep in mind that it is possible to be respectful and resilient at the same time. Respect your children privacy as you would want them to respect yours, for example, if you teach your child that your room is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Respect your children’s decision as well is important. Let you children to choose anything they like, they want or desire. If you go shopping cloth with them for instance, let them to choose and give relevant opinion if necessary. By this, your children can see you respect what they really want or choose. I believe some parents, if they have teenagers studying in college, they like to choose the course on behalf of their children. You should avoid this behavior and be respectful to what your teenager choose for studying. If you think their choice is wrong or not suitable for them, talk and discuss with them. By discussing, they will tell you why they choose the course instead of what you expect them to take. When your satisfy, please respect their choose and this will make your child feels good and respected.

To conclude my speech today, I want to highlight again eight characteristics to be a good parent, which are good moral, active participant in your children’s life, understand their children, patience, praising, avoid comparing, positive role model, and respect. Good parent must have good moral values in themselves because children will tend to mimic their traits. Good parent also must be an active participant in their children’s life and activities. They also must have ability to understand and share feeling when talking with their children and be patience in nurturing their children. A good parent also must praise their children to make them feel proud and precious. Avoid comparison among children or others is as well important to being a good parent. A good parent must shows a positive role model to their children because children tend to adapt what their parent behave. Last characteristic to be a good parent that I mentioned before is respect. Respect is important characteristic in raising your children to show to them how much you value their opinion and choice.

Finally, let me say that I am heartened to see so many fellow parents here today, as it shows our interest and intent to be good parents, to do what is really helpful for our children. Your children is precious gift from god to you, you should teach them and raise them well as nothing in this world is equally same precious to your children. I hope all of you understand and try so hard to become a good parent. Thank you.