How to Be “Beautiful” (or something of that nature)

Almost every supermarket and drugstore in America has one section filled with lights, mirrors, bright colors, new music, and hundreds of options. This section is commonly referred to as the beauty section, or what I like to call “the money hole.” Makeup industries oftentimes advertise their products so well that women will go to any extreme to get their hands on what they feel is the fountain of youth in a bottle. Countless amounts of creams, blushes, lipsticks, and bronzers all give women the promise of looking better than they naturally do, when in actuality, many women have never heard the phrase “less is more.” Society has moved past that stage, and the phrase “use every product you can find” is more applicable. Here is how to look “beautiful” today; which means abiding by the new and so-called improved phrase.

Before stepping foot into the beauty section, look in the mirror and analyze what exactly needs to be corrected, whether it be a toucan nose, bug eyes, or ghostly white skin. Be sure to base all decisions off of the views and opinions of others, rather than your own thoughts. There is a product for each and every flaw, so be sure to look for them all. If needed, ask the opinions of enemies – they are always a very reliable source. Once all flaws are found and the inevitable tears are shed, head to the closest beauty store.
Upon arrival at the store, head straight to the beauty section and find an associate. They usually only want the best for the customer and would never persuade one to buy more than she may need or the more expensive option. Be sure to give them all of your trust and relinquish all control to them. Now is the time to refer back to the list of every imperfection and then notify the associate. They will provide an extensive list of products to fix every problem, and all must be