30 November 2010

The Importance of a Father – Son Relationship

The relationship between a father and a son can be expressed as perhaps the most important relationship that a man endures in his lifetime. This is the relationship that influences a man and all other relationships that a man has throughout his life. A strong father figure is important for a man to be able to mature into a man of strong character and a respectable citizen. In Arthur Millers, “Death of a Salesman”, the relationship between Willy and Biff is the example of a father and son relationship that is presented. Not having a strong father figure himself, Willy struggles with his character and that ultimately leads to a rift in his relationship with Biff and his neglect of Happy. Strong fathers play important roles in the lives of their sons and this is seen not only in literature, but also throughout history and in the world today. In “Death of a Salesman”, Willy’s non-existent relationship with his father and ideas of an American dream and what Willy wishes out of life, cause mass amounts of friction between him and his sons. It is evident in not only, “Death of a Salesman”, but in real life examples how having a strong father figure is important in fully developing into a man. Willy’s father left when he was young, and Willy describes this moment as, “…well, Dad left when I was such a baby and I never had a chance to talk to him and I still feel—kind of temporary about myself.” (Pg. 51) With that statement an inference can be made that Willy longed for a relationship with his father. His choice of words that he felt, “kind of temporary about myself” showed that something was amiss in Willy’s life and what he felt about himself. Not having his father around, Willy heard everything he knew about his father from his older brother Ben. Willy constantly has day dreams in which he remembers earlier parts of his life and has conversations with those that are not actually there. These delusions seem to become more frequent showing the diminished state of Willy’s psyche. Since Willy’s father abandoned him at such an early stage, all that Willy seems to know about his father come from Ben’s recollections. In one of Willy’s episodes where he imagines a previous meeting with Ben, they talk of their father and Ben describes their father by stating, “Father was a very great and a very wild-hearted man. We would start in Boston, and he’d toss the whole family into the wagon…and all the Western states. And we’d stop in towns and sell the flutes that he’d made on the way. Great inventor, Father. With one gadget he made more in a week than a man like you could make in a lifetime.” (Pg. 49) This imagery and statement by Ben show that the boys had a great respect for their father and for what he did. Willy’s father was a very good inventor at making his flutes and not only that but he was a great salesman as well. The idea that his father was such a spending salesman might have had a strong role in Willy selecting the same profession as well. Willy also seems to have trouble himself being a solid role model for his children. This is evident when he asks Ben to describe their father to his boys, “No, Ben! Please tell about Dad. I want my boys to hear. I want them to know the kind of stock they spring from. All I remember is a man with a big beard, and I was in Mamma’s lap, sitting around a fire, and some kind of high music.” (Pg. 48) Not having had a father figure himself to look up to, Willy makes certain mistakes that diminish his character. The main reason for tension between Biff and Willy come from the fact that Biff witnessed firsthand an incident of Willy’s infidelity. Biff went to call on Willy when he was away on one of his trips and there Willy ordered the woman he was with to hide in the bathroom and not to say a word while Willy saw who was at the door. Biff barged in when they began talking the woman made noise and Biff realized what had happened. This episode is what shatters Biff and causes him to lose respect for his father and to give up on the dreams his father had for him. Another example that father figures are important in a man’s life can be seen in the world of sports. There are many prominent male athletes who have been raised by a single mother and have not had the opportunity of being raised by a strong father figure or a strong male. These athletes go on to make mistakes that are uncommon amongst other males. These mistakes are not limited to athletes; they may happen to other less prominent figures but the athletes are the ones whose stories come to light and are seen in the eyes of the public. A prominent figure in the world of sports and specifically in basketball is Lebron James. This offseason James was a free agent for the very first time in his career, meaning he could choose to either stay with his hometown team the Cavaliers where he is revered as a hero or go elsewhere. James did not let on what his decision was going to be and waited until it was absolutely imperative that he make a choice. James decided to make his decision on television in a two hour long show that he named “The Decision”, James’ justification for having this show was that he was donating all the commercial proceeds to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. This false pretense of having a charity event seemed like an event to give himself more popularity and to make himself feel important. The setting and the manner in which James decided to let the world know his decision seemed immature, and he chose to leave the team that reveres and praises him to a team to play with his friends. James was raised by his mother alone and has not had a prominent father figure his whole life, he surrounded himself with his friends and they were the ones that guided him into behaving in such a way. There was an assortment of views on James and his decision and in the manner that it was executed, most of which was that James acted poorly and was immature in his acts. If James had a prominent father figure, all of this could have been avoided and he could have made his decision in a manner that was mature and respectful to the city of Cleveland and still played for whomever he chose. Another prominent sports figure is Michael Vick who plays for the National Football League (NFL). A few years ago Vick was the most electrifying talent on the football field and was the highest paid athlete in the NFL. At the peak of his fame, Vick became part of a huge scandal which showed that he was in the middle of a dog fighting ring. Vick was sentenced to nearly two years in Federal imprisonment and then two months spent at a halfway house. Vick’s mother was the one that supported him and his three siblings because the children were born out of wedlock. Vick’s mother and father did in fact get married later on but Vick’s father worked long hours and was not really there to guide Michael and in his development as a man.

When Michael was initially sent to prison Tony Dungy, a famous coach for the NFL went to visit Vick and provided him with the guidance and wisdom that Vick did not have growing up. Dungy continued to mentor Vick throughout his sentence and even when he was eventually released. Recently Vick has returned to the NFL and is having the best season he ever had. He has transformed himself from a careless and lazy player into one who dedicated whole days to studying game film and practicing as long as it takes to prepare for the opponent he is going to face. Vick has finally realized his potential and having a strong father figure in the form of Tony Dungy, Vick has transformed himself as an athlete and as a man. Having an important father figure is not absolutely necessary for success; however it does ensure that you are able to develop tremendously as a man. Willy not having a prominent father figure in his life caused him to not be able to relate as well as he would like to his two sons and be the father figure that they needed to properly mature. Even in the modern world it is a reality that having a prominent father figure is important to aid in the development of a man and to ensure that he is able to make wise decisions and not commit foolish immature mistakes.