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Jarvis

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Submitted By blkkman
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Narrative Essay: Peer Review Checklist 1. Is the introduction inviting? I feel as though it was 2. Does the introduction introduce the topic? Not really I didn’t really understand where you were going with this till the end 3. Does the the introduction state the thesis? No 4. Do you have any suggestions about the introduction? Clarity in what you are trying to tell us

5. What is the thesis for the essay? I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life but all of those experiences made me realize what kind of person I’m going to be on that venture. 6. Is the thesis clear and sufficiently narrowed down? I am still not really sure if this is your thesis or not but if I had to find something in your essay this would be it it makes the most sense in my eyes but I feel as though you could make it clearer 7. Do you have any suggestions about the thesis? Refer to #6 8. Does the essay tell a story? YES 9. Does the writer tell the story in chronological order? YES 10. Does each body paragraph contain one event of the story? YES 11. Do you have any suggestions about the organization of the body paragraphs? NO 12. Is the conclusion logical? Is it interesting? YES 13. Do you have any suggestions about the conclusion? NO 14. Is the essay coherent? YES 15. Does the writer use varied sentence structure, paraphrase and linking words? 16. Do you have any suggestions for improving coherence? There are some grammatical errors in your essay they are minor and you can fix them easily 17. What is the best part of the essay? This essay is easy to relate to almost anyone can do so and I can paint a picture thru your words 18. What parts need more attention? I think your thesis need to be a little clearer I was unsure on whether you were praising your times in NY or realizing your mistakes in NY either way the story still reads right just what did NY actually teach you…..

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