Journey of the Self The road I’m traveling on I see as a dirt road through a light forest in the mountains of northern California. I’m not sure exactly where I am, but it is a bright day with some clouds and blue skies, but off to the distance I can see storm clouds. All I have with me is my backpack containing a notebook, a pen, a pair of gym shorts, a spare t-shirt, a pack of cigarettes with a lighter, a bottle of water and a couple of granola bars. In my pockets I have a cell phone with a dead battery, a pocketknife, and my wallet with five dollars and my I.D. inside. I’m walking, surrounded by trees of all types. There is a light breeze, but it’s quiet as I walk and look around. As I’m walking, the road is flat and somewhat narrow, but it is easy going for the most part, with random spots where the road becomes rocky and somewhat stressful, but it evens itself out and becomes smooth for a period of time again. I feel happy and serene, but exhausted at times and in need of a bit of rest, but I always continue and begin to walk again. As I’m walking, I come to a two-way fork in the road with a sign in the middle. The sign has two arrows with words printed on them. Each arrow is pointing in the opposite direction of the other. To the left I have the choice to walk to the city, while to the right I have the choice to walk to a small country town. After some thought and consideration of both of my choices, I eventually choose to head towards the Country. I’m not sure exactly why I decided to head this way, but something inside of me tells me that it is the way that I need to go. A sense of fate you could call it. As I’m walking down the path I chose all of a sudden there is a fallen tree blocking the road. The tree is a large Redwood tree, whose width is roughly four and a half or five feet wide. I could walk around it, but since I am alone in a forest I’m not sure of, I decide it would be safer to first try and climb over the tree. The tree is very tall and lies a good distance into the forest on either side of the road. I simply walk up to the tree and pull myself up onto the tree and over and continue to walk. While walking and analyzing my surroundings, I see something shiny in lying in the middle of my path. As I get closer to the object, I realize that it is a key on a string. The end of the string is frayed and it looks like somebody accidently dropped it at some point, but there are no footprints or anything around. I pick up the key and notice that the end of the key is something I have never seen before. The end of the key is in the shape of a heart and is hollow, and the head of the key is round with a heart shape and two small diamonds cut out. It was obviously created to open something in specific, but I’m not certain as to what exactly it is meant to open or unlock. The key is a shiny gold color, but it looks dirty and worn as if it has been lying in the sun for quite some time. I tie the frayed end of the string to my belt loop and place the key in my pocket and move on. I notice that there is a rock off to the side of the path with something sitting on top of it. I walk over to inspect and I realize it is a cup. The cup is a sort of hand made mug with small, intricate artwork carved and painted in blue and green onto the side and edges. The top of it has a few small chips, but no significant damage. The paint is a little worn in spots. The cup is about half full of clear water. I decide to keep the cup, so I empty out the water, wrap the cup up in my spare t-shirt, and put it inside of my backpack. I start to walk and happen to glance down on the ground next to it and see shards of glass. I sort of place the pieces together to find out that the pieces make up a small saucer. The saucer is completely destroyed and does not match my cup at all, so I kick the pieces off to the side of the road and continue to walk. I walk down the road for a while and see a building up ahead in the distance. It’s still a ways away so I just keep walking. After about ten minutes of walking, I finally get close enough to the building to see what it looks like. The building is a mid sized brick house. The driveway is dirt just like the path it strays off of. The mailbox out front doesn’t have an address on it, the door on the front of it is falling off and it looks like it hasn’t been used in years. The front of the house has a white wooden porch with a handrail and three steps leading up to it. On the porch is an old rocking chair and decaying wooden table. The window next to the front door is boarded up. I walk up to the door and turn the knob to find out that it is unlocked. I walk in and the house is full of old furniture that is in good condition and looks as if it hasn’t been touched in years. Everything looks to have a specific place so I don’t touch anything. I simply walk around the house and eventually walk back out and start to walk down the path again. After walking for a few minutes, the forest kind of clears a bit and there is a large lake with a small pebble beach and a small stream emptying into it. On the beach is a small fire pit and two logs sitting around it. The fire pit is still smoking and the embers are about to go out, but it’s obvious that somebody had been there not long before I had. The lake is clear and fish are jumping. The forest, as well as another path, continues to go around the lake. The lake is about half a mile wide and two thirds of a mile long, and the beach stretches along the entire side of the lake that is next to the road. There is a tree with tire swing that hangs over the water and another rope swing on a tree a few feet further to it’s right. It seems to be a place where people have come and gone, but has visitors very few and far between who stay for extended periods of time, like a secret camping spot. I turn to walk further on down the path, and after walking only about a hundred feet or so and come up to a large cliff. The cliff is hundreds of feet tall and carved into the side is a very rocky and steep staircase that leads down into the canyon. There is no handrail or rope to hold onto leading down the staircase. The cliff and lack of stair is discouraging and I wonder if I can go on and make it all the way through. I can see the danger, but something is telling me to continue my journey, no matter what the cost or how dangerous it is. I take a deep breath and start my journey down the staircase and into the canyon in hopes that there will be more adventure at the bottom. The road in my story represents how I see my life. The dirt road represents a simplistic aspect of my life. It is natural and I’m not sure where it came from or how exactly it came to be, but it was created by a force of nature and was not manmade. There are times where the road is smooth, representing the good times and when life is going smoothly, and other times the road is rocky and rough, representing tough times that randomly occur and adding points of stress and times that take work to get through. The fork in the road and my choice to head towards the country represent my need for alone time and solitude. Sometimes I find myself in need of a walk alone to just think about things and let my mind sort of wander and ramble through things. I also like to be in natural settings where I can enjoy the natural beauty that surrounds me. The Redwood tree (minor obstacle) represents the daily, everyday problems that come with life and my decision to go over the tree rather than around it represents how I tend to deal with these problems. I chose to go over the tree, and that says that when a problem comes my way, it’s not easy. It’s a struggle for me to get through these issues no matter how big or small due to the simple fact that I do not like confrontation, even within myself. The key in the road represents my dreams and what I desire. The fact that the key was heart shaped and was created for something in specific, but that something is unknown means that there is something that I desire and something specific that I wish for and want out of my life but I’m not sure what exactly that thing is. I tied it to my pants so that I would not lose it, and put it the key in my pocket so that I would not lose the key. The cup and saucer represent my mother and father. The cup represents my mother, and the saucer my father. The cup is beautiful and handmade, showing how I admire my mother and love her. There are chips at the top, showing small flaws, but the cup holds the water so it is still functional and useful. I kept the cup because I can see my mom in my life for years to come. The saucer is broken, useless and doesn’t match the cup. It’s not important or useful to me so I kick it away and ignore it. My father isn’t in the picture, and I have no desire for him to be apart of my life. The house I find represents how I see myself. It’s medium and brick, showing how I see myself as average, but still strong and resistant as I was raised to be. It’s simple and homely and everything within the house is old. The window is boarded up, but the door is unlocked showing how I tend to show some sort guard to keep some people away, but those who want to know me deeper just attempt to open the door and find that I’m willing to talk and be open and welcoming. Everything inside the house is specifically placed, and I’m afraid to touch some parts of my life so I leave most everything untouched as to not ruin or jeopardize the good in me. The body of water represents how I see love. The enclosed lake represents a place for love in my life, but I refuse to let it control me or take over. The steams emptying into and out of the lake represent new perspective and aspects coming in and out of my life that change how I see love just a little at a time. The logs and burning embers on the beach show that people come and go, and sometimes leave smoldering feelings to burn out by themselves. The cliff (major obstacle) represents how I deal with death. I worry and become sad and discouraged when death occurs in my life. I see death and a huge leap to another place or adventure and it could be simple, but it looks scary. I see a possibility of working and moving on after death, but it will take some faith and some work. I could make it and be okay afterwards, but I have to get myself to a place where that can happen. I could either fall and end up where I don’t want to be, or I could make it through the struggle and continue my journey and move forward.