Life Span Development
Kelvin L. McRae
Liberty University

Abstract
In this paper it will discuss Erik Eriksons 8 stages of personality and what we deal with during each stage of our lives. This paper will also discuss the Big Five theory which gives a pretty good ideal of most people personalities. This paper will also discuss my life span and the things that I have been through in my life time from birth to my current stage of life Young adults. It will also explain what I need to do to deal with the issues that I have that are affecting me as I go into my next stage of life and how I will deal with it.

In our life time we go through several changes. Form the day we are born until the day that death has come upon use. As we reach different stages of our lives we begin to see changes not only in our physical but cognitively as well. Through the studies of Erik Erickson he came up with 8 different stages personality that may define who we are going to be. The first stage is Basic trust vs. basic mistrust; in this stage it covers the birth to 1 year of age which seems to be the most fundamental stage of life. Cassell (2013) states that Erickson said; the baby develops basic trust or basic mistrust is not merely a matter of nurture. It is multi-faceted and has strong social components. It depends on the quality of the maternal relationship. The mother carries out and reflects their inner perceptions of trustworthiness, a sense of personal meaning, etc. on the child. If successful in this, the baby develops a sense of trust, which "forms the basis in the child for a sense of identity." Failure to develop this trust will result in a feeling of fear and a sense that the world is inconsistent and unpredictable (p.04). The next stage in Erickson development stage is the Autonomy vs. Shame and this covers the ages from 1-3 years of age. In this stage the child starts to discover his or her independence and parents need to understand the child is trying to do just basic tasks by themselves and any discouragement can lead to child doubting their efficacy. In the third stage you have the Purpose, Initiative vs. Guilt which is the 3 to 6 years of life. At this stage in life children begin to assert control and power over the environment that are in like planning activities, accomplishing tasks and facing certain challenges. IT is very important that during this stage parents encourage their children to make choices. If parent are discouraging or dismissive the child could feel ashamed and be more depended on others. Between the years 6-11 which is the school age years you have the Competence, industry vs. Inferiority stage. In this stage children begin to learn and see the relationship between perseverance and the pleasure of completing a job. At this stage in life children are in school and their relationship with peers in school and the neighborhood become increasingly important. In stage 5 Fidelity, Identity vs. Role Confusion ages 12 to 18 the adolescent then begins to question themselves such as who they are, where they are going in life. In the Intimacy vs. isolation stage it is the first stage of adulthood which happens between the ages of 18-35. At this stage dating, marriage, family and friends are the most important. By forming loving relationships with others people are experiencing love and intimacy. In the Generativity vs. Stagnation stage the second stage of adulthood from 35-64, people at this point should be settled in their lives. People are becoming more focused on their careers and are enjoying raising their children. Finally the Ego integrity vs. Despair from 65 and on the person has reached the last chapter of their life and soon will be approaching retirement or it has already taken place. During those stages of life you also develop your personality. Although most people say you develop your personality early in age I believe you personality develops in all stages of your life do life changes. Personality has been defined as “The quality that makes one different from others” (Smotrova D. V. 2012, p. 233). Our personality is the biggest part that makes us who we are, without our personality we have no definition of ourselves. Our personality begins developing as a child and some may say that our personality is fully developed during our childhood years there are still changes that occur as we grow into adults. There is what we call the “Big Five” which sums up everyone’s personality. First we have Openness and is defined as; “A general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and variety of experience. The trait distinguishes imaginative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. People who are open to experience are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more creative and more aware of their feelings. They are more likely to hold unconventional beliefs” (Saulsman, & Page, 2005, p. 1055). Second you have Conscientiousness which” is a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement. The trait shows a preference for planned rather than spontaneous behavior. It influences the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Conscientiousness includes the factor known as Need for Achievement” (Saulsman & Page 2005, p.1056). The third is Extraversion and is “characterized by positive emotions, urgency, and the tendency to seek out stimulation and the company of others. The trait is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, and are often perceived as full of energy. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves” (Goldberg 2009, p. 26). The forth personality trait is Agreeableness; “the tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. The trait reflects individual differences in concern for social harmony. They are generally considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent and trustworthy” (Goldberg 2009, p.27). The fifth and final trait is the Neuroticism which is “the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. It is sometimes called emotional instability. Those who score high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive and vulnerable to stress. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress” (Goldberg 2009, p.31). I was born to a single mother of 2 in Morganton North Carolina. According to my mother there were no issues during her pregnancy with me. Mother also stated that as an infant I didn’t cry as much as other older sister did when she was a baby. My mother tells me the story about how she had just left the house and my dad was on the couch asleep so, I climbed on the edge of the couch and unlocked the door and started walking up the street to find my mother. My mother said that she just happened to turn around and she was me standing at the top of the road. She said that was when she started seeing me become more independent and doing things on my own. I later remember going to daycare and it was very exciting to me because it was place or me to have fun, take naps and hang out with my friends all day. During those years my mother stated that I begin listening to music and dancing a lot around the house. Mother also stated that in the morning she would her me in the kitchen in the mornings and when she can in there I had taking all the eggs out of the refrigerator and they would be all over the floor. My mother stated I was very active at that age. My mother also recalls me being very independent doing things on my own not wanting her to help me do things. During the end of my preschool years I then went to live with my dad, step mother and my other siblings. I remember ne going to court and the judging ruling in my dad’s favor saying that I will go live him, I don’t remember my mother being present in court for that. I feel that for me that was the beginning of my life changes on how I would deal with my personal relationships and letting people get close to me. As I begin living with my father it was a very difficult adjustment for me, from being a household of 2 kids with a house of 6. I was the youngest of 6 kids and the closes sibling to my age was an 8 year age different. Although I knew my siblings prior to moving in with them when I came to stay with them permanently it was like everything changed. I noticed the siblings I would play with when I was younger were the meanest towards me when I came to live with them. When I went to tell my step mother how they were treating me she wouldn’t do anything, so at that point I just started being to myself more but I became more connected to my older brother at the time because he would take up for me. When I begin to attend school it was very exciting to me because I had people I could interact with around my age daily and it gave me time to get away from my family. My oldest brother whom I was the closes with had just graduated I high school and left to go to the military, for me that was one of the saddest day of my life. We later that school year we moved from our house authority home and got a house in the suburbs and it was a great change for our family. However due to my dad always working her was never home and I was always there with my step mom and sibling and she made it known to me that she didn’t really care for me. So it was very difficult for me because any time anything would happen it was always my fault and I just couldn’t understand what I did for them to treat me as such. However when my dad was home everyone was nice towards me. As I got older I remember doing everything that I could to get my step mother to treatment like she treated her own kids but it felt nothing that I would do would change things. As I begin to get older I notice that I would start having more acting out behaviors. I begin to play sports in my middle childhood and that was a way or me to relieve some of my frustration however that still didn’t stop with the behaviors that I would displaying the community. I remember people in the neighborhood not wanting their kids to play with me because they all felt that I was bad influence on their kids and now that I reflect back I can say that I was. When I was in elementary school I was a very aggressive child some would say that I was mean. There were times as child that I would get angry or mad at people for the simplest things. I remember when I was in the 6th grade we had just returned to school from a field trip, me and some other class mates where outside playing basketball. While we were playing another class mate took the basketball from me and I became upset and punched him in his chest the EMS was called because he could barely breathe after I hit him. The whole time he was laying there I was scared because I didn’t know what was going to happen to him. During that time I was the only child in the house and I remember wanting to switch to the other room in the house because my sister had moved out and it was a bigger room for me. I asked my dad and he said that it was ok, however when my step mother came home she was upset and told me and my friend that she “ “hated me” and it really break my heart because I had always tried so hard to get her to love me as she loved her own children. So from that point on I stopped talking to her and I started to cover my real feelings up with laughter and just ignoring the whole situation as if nothing was going on. The following year I went to Junior High School and I begin to experience new things, female relationships, hormones changing and starting to become more independent and looking for that Autonomy. During that time it became difficult being the only child in the home because I had no one to talk to. I didn’t want to talk to my dad because as a teenager I felt there were things I couldn’t talk to my dad about. So when I was at home I always felt alone like I really didn’t have a place there. Even though I did have a relationship with biological mother I felt that I couldn’t depend on her. The only person I felt would be there for me was my dad. At that time I started talking girls and developing other relationships with people. I remember getting in to a relationship and wondering what do I do in a relationship. I knew that I didn’t want to have a relationship like my dad and step mother because they argued all the time and it was annoying. As I got into High School I became more relaxed and able to control my behavior I then and exciting I still dint really talk to my step mother and then I started bumping heads with my dad. I was getting older and looking for that space from my parents and wanting to do my own thing. I also being new relationships and general felt that I was in my first true relationship. When in high school I became more active in school activities and began to focus more on school and controlling my negative behaviors. I knew that if I wanted to play sports or go to college I needed to improve my behaviors and what cause this change was that during football session I got into trouble and was suspended form the football team that year and it really bothered me that I was not able to finish football session. A few months later I got in trouble again and my dad had to come to the school and I had to sign contract saying if I got in trouble again I would be expelled from school for the rest of the school year. The next school year my junior year I stayed focused in school and focused on being more positive and staying out of trouble. I later started thinking about what wanted to do in after high school. I knew that I wanted to go to college but didn’t think my parents could afford it so if focused on sports and my academics to get scholarship. As time passed and it got closer to my graduation I was contemplating what is was going to do when I finished school. I then decided that I wanted to have option and decided to take the test so that I could join the military. After taking the test I then ended up being the only person in the group from my school to past the test at that time. I ended joining the military and was excited but as time got closer I started having second thoughts. I then went to military but was only in for a few months and was discharged. After being discharged from the military I then came back home and went to a community college. I then begin a relationship and in that relationship I had become a father of a baby boy. A few years later I went back to college attempted to become a nurse. During that time is was in and out of relationships and was also questioning myself to why was I not able to have a successful relationship. After 3 years of school I wasn’t happy with the career path I was taking so thought to myself about what I really wanted to do and I changed my major to social work. I knew that was the direction that I wanted go in because I wanted to make a difference in people’s lives for the long term. So after changing my major it was evident that I made the right choice when my internship was at a structure day program counseling kids. Ginzberg (1995) said “people typically move through a series of stages in choosing a career” (p.16). After graduated College I was in a relationship but as usual it didn’t work out. Sternberg says; It is suggested that there are 3 components: (a) intimacy encompassing the feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness experienced in loving relationships; (b) passion encompassing the drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation; and (c) decision/commitment encompassing, in the short term, the decision that one loves another, and in the long term, the commitment to maintain that love (Sternberg 1986, p.19). As I looked into my relationships all those attributes was there. I then begin to look at my previous relationships and wondering what was the problem. As I looked in to my relationship I realizing that every time I get to certain stages in relationships I begin to shut down or push them away I just wouldn’t allow myself to commit to a relationship. I then begin to look at my life my relationship with my mother and realizing that my issues was because of my childhood how I felt that my mother abandoned me by not caring enough to fight to keep me and just giving up. I then begin to analyze my relationship with my step mother how I tried so hard to get her to take the place of my biological mother but all she did was push me away. I then realized that it was hard for me to have a successful relationship because the issues that I dealt with as a child with my mother and my stepmother. It also makes it hard for me because when I am in relationship I feel that I must protect my kids and I will not allow people to meet my kids if see any sign of inconsistency or maybe that an defense mechanism that I have to not allow myself to get close to anyone I am in a relationship with. Currently in my young adult phase I know that it is time for me to begin moving to the next phase so the issues that I have recognized I definite need address them. What I plan on doing to address these is seeking out the treatment that I need. It seems that most of my issues arrive from the relationships that I had with to mother figures in my life when I was a child which is causing me to be hesitant to move forward in my relationships. I can definitely say that my life experiences are what have led me to the career path that I have chosen. In conclusion we as people go through several stages of life. When we are born we have no identity or clue to who we are. Our personality begins developing as a child and some may say that our personality is fully developed during our childhood years there are still changes that occur as we grow into adults. As we get older in life the things we go through in help make the decision that we face in the future such as job, how we raise our families and relationships.

References
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