Listening Barriers
Latasha Cleveland
Com/200
April 20, 2012
Amy Bailey

Listening Barrier
Listening is a way of showing someone hospitality and respect. It does not only consist of a person exchanging words after hearing what the other person has to say. Listening consists of each person paying full attention to what is being said and able to accept the message without putting their personal desires first. Although everyone wants to be listened to when having a conversation with others, it does not always happen that way. There are listening barriers that cause conflict during interpersonal communication. Listening barriers are things, people, situations, or environments that keep an individual from listening effectively during a conversation. Some of these barriers include Self Absorption (only concerned about them self), unchecked emotion (cannot listen because emotional arousal), criticism of the speaker (more focused on who giving the message than the message), differing speech and thought rate (being able to think as fast as someone speaks), information overload (distracted by technology or not being in the mood for conversation), external noise (distractions in an environment), and listener apprehension ( fear of being unable to understand, comprehend, interpret, or adjust during conversation) (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, Chapter Chapter 5, 2011).A prime example when more than one of these barriers are displayed is when I come home from work and each one of my children (total of four) are all trying to have a conversation all at one time.
Listening Barrier between Children
When I come home from work the children are so anxious in telling me about their day and finding out about my day. They do not realize that the other child is talking because their mind is set on what they are trying to say. This barrier is self absorption because all each child wants to do is tell me what they want me to know instead of waiting for the other to finish talking (waiting for the pause before they change the subject). My five year old is usually the one who becomes emotional because the older children says something that has cut down something she said (they may have laughed also). So by this time everyone is distracted because the five year old has unchecked emotions barrier. She is not listening to what the older children are saying even if it is an apology because she is defensive by something they previously said or did nonverbally. The way the older children are acting towards the five year old is called criticizing the speaker. They have it set in their mind that because she is young she is doing more rambling than giving information when she speaks. Sometimes I feel the same way when each one of them talk which leads to me having listening barriers of my own when they are talking to me.
My Listening Barriers
I have listening barriers when they all are trying to have a conversation with me. Especially when I come in directly from work and running errands before I get there is what triggers these barriers. The barrier that comes first is differing speech and thought rate. As the children are taking I am thinking of the things that have to be done around the house, with them, and school work. This leads up to information overload while they are speaking because my cell phone and computer becomes a distraction as well. External noise distraction comes next because usually they have the television on that seem extremely loud and I realize it in the midst of them talking to me (while in information overload). All of these things end up putting me in the mood of not willing to listen to any conversation at all. The total conversation leads to me having a self absorption barrier. I end up not hearing most of what they saying. I usually start talking to them about my feelings (unchecked emotions), what I am going through, what I got to get done, and how they can wait until I get a moment of free time. I believe there are better ways to handle these barriers for all of us to enhance our interpersonal communication.
Strategies to Limit or Eliminate Listening Barriers Everyone in our household should learn ways to limit or eliminate the listening barriers that has been observed. The children should wait and see if I am mentally prepared to receive what they are saying. As well as I need to talk to myself before I go in the house so that I can be a better listening and physically prepared because I am aware in advance that this is going to happen. We should take turns exchanging interpersonal communication one on one with each child and myself. This should be done in a non distracting environment without the cell phone or computer. If there is a time that one on one time cannot establish we need to put our own agenda aside and be open minded (optimistic). This will allow us to listen to the message no matter who it comes from. We shall give each other enough time to talk and patiently wait and listen. Once we practice becoming emotionally connected to what the other person is trying to say, mean, or think, then we are able to communicate back effectively (empathetic listener). We will be able to give the appropriate feedback and response by paraphrasing what the message was back to the individual. This will allow each child to feel like they are understood and respected. This also gives me a sense of peace because I do not feel overwhelmed with information. At the end of the day everyone will feel that they have a great social support. This will allow us all to have an effective interpersonal communication that leaves everyone feeling equally important (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, Chapter Chapter 5, 2011).

References Beebe, S.A., Beebe, S.J., & Redmond, M.V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Retrieved from